Page 87 of Help Me Remember

I shrugged. “Why would I? Nothing I say will make you feel better. You’ve gotta figure out your own answers.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. You don’t strike me as a platitude or advice kind of guy,” Ana said with a smile. It was small and fragile, but it wasn’t hollow, so I thought maybe she might be okay when she got through to the other side of this.

“So, I kinda have a question for you,” I said slowly. “I know I’m not exactly in a position to demand answers, but it’s been bugging me.”

“If it’s not all that personal or involved, shoot,” she said, then winced. “God, bad phrase. Bad, bad phrase.”

I smiled. “How did you survive? We all saw you take a bullet straight to the chest.”

Her smile was wistful, sad and thoughtful as she dragged a golden chain from her pocket, holding it up to the light. “My grandfather’s pocket watch. Call it luck, call it coincidence, but that old thing took the bullet for me.”

“Really?” I asked and then remembered the glittering bits I’d seen on the ground where she’d lain.

“I like to think it was his way of looking out for me when I needed it the most. He was always the protective sort,” she said with a chuckle, winding the chain through her fingers. “Though, I wish it didn’t mean I lost the watch. But I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“If he was watching out for you, you owe him a big thank you.”

“I owe him a lot more than that, but…that’s my business.”

I nodded in understanding. We all had our secrets.

Her attention flickered to Eric. “He’s still in deep, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, turning to face Eric and gently squeezing his arm. “He and I have a lot to talk about.”

“That I’m sure of…you’re going to tell him?”

“I’m going to try.”

“I meant, like, about the stuff you can’t tell me.”

“He’s a part of it, and I volunteered to deliver the news.”

Ana snorted, pushing herself out of her seat. “You know, here I was thinking Eric was the self-sacrificing dolt, but I’m starting to think you’re the holder of that title.”

“Nah,” I said, gently stroking Eric’s arm. “He’s the one who sacrifices himself for others. It’s in his nature.”

“Really? Because he’s mentioned a few things while he’s been in bed.”

“I thought you said he didn’t talk.”

“He talked, just not much.”

“That’s not like him.”

“No. Despite how much this hurts, he still wants to believe you’re the man he knew before. Even though you’ve kept many more secrets than I’ll ever know about, he still wants to believe. He’s more stubborn than anyone I’ve ever known, and that’s saying something,” Ana said softly. “But you know what he said? It’s stuck with me because it was the first thing he said after waking up after surgery.”

“What?” I asked, turning to face her.

Ana reached up to lightly scratch at her jaw. “He wondered what it was you had sacrificed. That was it, pretty much word for word. And now I’m starting to wonder the same thing.”

“Don’t,” I said, turning back to Eric. “Just…keep being the woman you are, okay? It’s good to know that despite having cops like Patterson, there are still cops like you too.”

“Funny, he said almost the same thing when I thanked him for saving my life. Just with more swearing when Matt was brought up,” she said with a chuckle.

“That sounds about right,” I said, smirking down at Eric’s sleeping face.

“I don’t know what waits for you and him,” she said, surprising me with a soft kiss on my cheek. “But you take care of him as best you can, got it? Because God and his apostles know he will do the same for you.”

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