Page 72 of Help Me Remember

I ignored the jab. “And we didn’t know why they wanted us so bad or, at least, wanted me. They wanted Eric because…well, probably because he was a witness, and they thought they could get to me through him. Both things are true.”

“And now?”

“And now I still don’t fully get why I’ve got a target on my back. I can only come up with so many possibilities, but I don’t have the truth.”

“I noticed you haven’t asked about the car that chased you,” she said, cocking her head.

“I assume the two men are either dead or hospitalized. Eric got me out of trouble after we crashed, and we took up residence in my old house. Since it was supposed to be up for sale, he thought it was safe,” I said with a shrug.

“He thought a house that was still technically under your name…would be safe?”

“I was doing my fucking best to keep us alive,” Eric snapped with a vehemence that made me flinch.

“I am not the bad guy here,” she told him in a hard voice.

“Fine, then stop being a bitch when I was just trying to keep us—”

“Eric,” I interrupted softly.

As much as it hurt, I preferred his furious gaze to turn on me. “What?”

“I’m the bad guy here, don’t punish her for what I did wrong. And when this is over, don’t punish yourself either,” I said, dropping my eyes.

“What does that mean?” he asked in a strangled voice.

I turned and looked at Ana. “Your partner is dirty. Filthy even.”

There was the slightest flinch on her face, and I knew she’d either suspected it for a while or had come to suspect it. “Is he?”

“He’s the reason the Russian thugs knew where to find us at the precinct,” I told her evenly. “He brought Eric into the basement, knocked him out, and tied him up. I’m not sure what the plan was, but either it was to get us out of there through the side door we used or to lure me away eventually to get to Eric. Hell, I wonder if maybe I even knew about him before I lost my memory. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Her jaw tightened. “I wouldn’t call that fun.”

“I wouldn’t either,” I said dryly, pointing toward my lap. “I also happen to have in my possession a notebook and a flash drive that probably contain important information, probably about the Russian Mafia.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Probably?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know what’s on it. I remembered I’d hidden something in my old house and found it there. Haven’t had a chance to figure out what’s on it, and the notebook is written in a code I don’t remember.”

Ana looked me over, her eyes going wide in amazement. “What the hell were you? Who were you?”

“I don’t know,” I said softly, spreading my hands helplessly. “Maybe it was insurance in case someone tried to screw me over. Maybe I was selling the information to someone or…any number of things. But I can tell you your partner is dirty, I have important information on me, and I’m probably everything everyone thinks I am.”

Everyone except Eric, who I was quite sure was going through his own internal anguish at the moment. Everything that had happened in the past few days had been completely and utterly my fault. His whole life had been turned upside down and repeatedly threatened because he believed in me. Now he was discovering his belief in me had been for nothing, and I really was the monster he had denied I could be.

I couldn’t help but spare a thought, posing a question to my previous self in sheer wonder. How had I had something so wonderful and good in my life, only to turn my back on it and walk a far darker path? How had I known that someone like Eric would have happily stayed in my life only to spit on the very memory of someone so good and pure?

I might never have the answer to that question, but I knew I owed Eric better than he was getting.

“Is there a point to you telling me this?” she asked warily.

“Because you’re not dirty. Because you genuinely want to get to the bottom of this, and I think you want to do what’s right when you can,” I told her, settling my hands on the table and inching my seat back.

“Okay,” she said slowly, watching me as warily as a mouse watches an approaching cat. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I’m going to offer you a deal,” I told her, and I felt Eric tense next to me. I spared a moment to wonder if he was prepared to interfere or getting ready to get out of the danger zone in case I tried anything.

Her brow rose, and I saw her hand twitch against her gun. “Deal? What deal could you possibly—”

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