Page 67 of Help Me Remember

The thoughts didn’t do anything to improve my mood, and I pushed them away as we approached one of the buildings. Eric walked up and ordered some sort of wrap and a drink before turning to look at me. Only then did I realize the empty feeling in my stomach that no amount of terrible instant coffee could have ever hoped to fill.

“I’ll take the same,” I said with a wave of my hand.

“His is going to be without the mustard but with the onions,” Eric said brightly.

“If that’s all, your total is going to be…$32.49,” the woman said with a smile.

“Of course you aren’t a cheap date,” I muttered, wondering how two sandwiches and drinks could cost so much as I fished out my wallet to hand over the money.

Eric laughed. “I just like being treated to some nice food and company once in a while. I guess it just worked out that the company is also helping provide the food.”

“Uh-huh,” I said with a shake of my head. “Or you just enjoy watching me die a little on the inside.”

“You were always offended at the price of things,” he said with a wink, accepting the bag of sandwiches and the two drinks. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” I muttered, allowing a smile when he kissed my jaw before walking toward one of the tables.

“Don’t be so grumpy. Sit down, eat your food, and pretend like we’re not still fighting for our lives for a little while,” he said, dropping everything onto the table. “Give our brains time to unwind and think clearly.”

It was honestly good advice, as I didn’t think anyone could constantly fight for their lives without needing a break. “Fine, for ten minutes.”

“Fifteen,” he countered, unwrapping his sandwich and biting into it. “Mm, this is good.”

“For how much it cost, it’d better be,” I grumbled, taking a bite of my own sandwich.

“Good?”

“I refuse to answer.”

“Because yes, it’s good and worth the money.”

“I didn’t say that,” I said with a frown.

He laughed, and I realized it had been too long since I’d last heard that sound. It reminded me just how much my presence in Eric’s life had cost him, and I wanted to soak up the sound for a bit longer. It reminded me of his soft look when he’d pressed his face into the blanket where I’d been sleeping, relaxing as he breathed in the scent of me.

“It always cracked me up how cheap you could be when we were younger,” he said as he took another bite. “Your family was half a step away from being rich, but you hated spending money.”

“I didn’t hate spending money on this. We needed food. It was the closest place, and fuck it if it makes you happy, then so be it. I just don’t think thirty bucks for two people at a sandwich place is justified,” I said with a shrug. “I can afford it, but that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.”

“Well, I’m glad I count as a reason to make it worth it,” he said, eyes twinkling.

I shrugged, taking a drink. “Honestly, if thirty bucks on food and ignoring everything else that’s going on for a little while is enough to make you laugh again, I’ll do it again.” Eric stared at me long enough that I finally stopped chewing and stared back at him in confusion. “What?”

“I just…” he began, shaking his head slowly. “It’s funny. There were so many times I pictured what it would be like to go on a date with you, to sit down and just…share a meal and a conversation, you know?”

“We didn’t eat and talk before?”

“Dammit, Dylan, don’t be difficult.”

“What?”

He sighed heavily, reaching across the table and taking hold of my hand to squeeze it. “I mean, as a date.”

“I don’t think this counts as a very good date,” I told him with a frown. “Not that I can speak with any knowledge on the subject, but I’m pretty sure I could come up with a better date than this if I had the chance.”

“Look, sometimes a date is getting dressed up, going to a nice place, maybe going to a nice show or the ice rink,” Eric said with a smile. “And sometimes it can be two people, worn out and trying to stay alive with every step they take. All that matters is that it’s two people, together, enjoying each other’s company…who have feelings for each other.”

Despite his insistence to the contrary, I thought I understood where he was going. “Is this your way of asking whether or not we’ve got shared feelings?”

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