Page 53 of Help Me Remember

Good, he’s safe.

And then came the welcome darkness.

CHAPTER NINE

Consciousness slipped in and out of my grasp. At one point, I woke up and felt a grating burn against my cheek and forehead. At another, I felt myself slump weakly to the side, and something was shoved into my hip. Blue sky met my gaze the next time I opened my eyes, but I could see it was growing dimmer. I thought maybe I was dying and briefly questioned why death had been so scary to me for so much of my life.

Between those moments, I dreamed.

* * *

I stepped through the front door and immediately knew the house was empty. I didn’t know when it started, but even as a child, I could always tell when I was alone, probably because having one of my parents home was a strange, foreign feeling to me and always stood out.

“Mom? Dad?” I called, knowing it was pointless even before my voice echoed back, proving to be my only companion for the night. Sighing, I slung my backpack over the chair in the nearby living room and flipped on the TV. I rarely watched anything, but it helped to have something playing in the background while I was home.

Before my thoughts could grow dreary, I felt a buzz in my pocket and pulled out my phone. I smirked at the familiar number on the screen and flipped it open to answer. “You just saw me, like, thirty minutes ago, dude.”

“Yeah, well,” Eric said, sounding as bright and cheerful as ever. “I got bored.”

“Quelle surprise.”

“Ha ha, anyway, I’m bored. Let’s go to the mall and laugh at people while I steal fries off your plate.”

“I could always get you food too.”

“Where’s the fun in that? Stealing from you is more fun.”

“Right. Sure, fuck it. Not like I have anything else going on.”

“I knew I could depend on you, Dyl. That’s what I—”

* * *

I fumbled awake, turning my head to find myself staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling only a couple of feet from my face. I could feel the swaying of what I was lying on, and after several seconds I realized I was in the back seat of a car. My body ached, and I could feel a sharp, constant pain in my side as I lay there, my arm dangling uselessly over the seat.

“Eric,” I muttered, feeling darkness take me again, but not before I swore I heard someone respond.

* * *

Walking away from the group, I answered the call. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Eric replied warmly in my ear, but I could hear something heavier in his voice. “This a bad time?”

I glanced back toward the men huddled at a table, frowning at the information they were pouring over. The distance between us was enough that I couldn’t hear them muttering to one another in Russian, but they couldn’t hear me talking either.

“I can spare a few,” I said.

“A few, huh?” he asked, probably meaning to make it sound like a joke, but hiding his emotions had never been one of Eric’s strong suits. I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Well, I keep myself pretty busy,” I said, glancing over my shoulder once more to make sure no one had inched closer. The last thing I needed was for the people in my new life to start encroaching on my old life. The only way I could keep going some days was to remember when my life wasn’t built on murder, lies, and hiding.

“Maybe I’d have more sympathy if I knew what kept you so busy,” Eric said, not even bothering to hide his irritation.

“Busy,” I said in a tone I hoped told him he needed to back off the topic.

“Christ, it’s been years since you left Port Dale, and it feels like every passing year puts you further and further away,” Eric complained, and I closed my eyes at his evident frustration and pain. “I don’t even know where you are right now, let alone what you’re doing. It scares the hell out of me sometimes, Dyl.”

My chest squeezed, and I wanted to reach out and wrap him up in my arms. This man had gotten me through my childhood simply by being there, with his smile and his warm heart, by being himself. Sometimes I wondered how different things might have been for us if I’d figured out I was into guys before I left Port Dale. If I’d realized the closeness I’d felt to Dylan for so many years went beyond just close friends and had always carried the seed for something more.

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