Page 32 of Help Me Remember

“Spinning my wheels, yep.”

“Maybe,” I started, clearing my throat roughly and telling myself this was probably the best idea I’d had in days, “it would be better if I just left you alone.”

“We already did that last night, and it didn’t exactly help.”

“No, I mean I should go…for good.”

“And go where?”

“I have no idea. But it’s not exactly a secret that I have money on me, and it’s definitely not a secret that I can take care of myself. I’m sure I could figure something out.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “And in the meantime, you’ll wander around without a clue what you’re doing. You don’t think that won’t make you vulnerable?”

“I think it would be better for you,” I said, scowling at him. “In case you’ve already forgotten, which would be weird because you made the point earlier, I’ve brought a great deal of trouble and stress into your life recently. You’ve got a life right now, one that was perfectly safe and secure before I came along and shook it up. I don’t want to shake it up even more.”

Eric turned to face me, looking unimpressed. “Really? Safe and secure? Weren’t you the one who insisted I make stupid, impulsive choices that’ll get me into trouble?”

“As far as I can tell, that only started happening once you tried helping me.”

“Pfft, trust me, you were saying it years ago too. Like when I’d give some homeless guy my lunch. Or give the last of what little allowance I got to someone in need.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I’m starting to understand how I could have grown into a bit of an asshole.”

Eric laughed. “Not really. Giving my food to homeless people sometimes meant walking down some dirty ass alley by myself when I probably weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet at the time. And waving to people that I had money, even a little bit, practically made me a beacon for anyone willing to demand the money instead of asking for it. You gave me such shit when I told you over the phone that I’d been mugged. Lesson learned on that one.”

I was torn between trying to comfort him because his heart really was in the right place and feeling somewhat vindicated for the caution I’d repeatedly been preaching. All that did was leave me more confused as I was left to wonder if I’d have felt the same way before my memory loss.

I shook my head, trying to dislodge the questions before they settled in too deep. It had only been a few days like this, but I’d learned it was all too easy to get stuck in a constant loop of frustration and confusion if I allowed it.

“And,” Eric began, then looked up at me. “Don’t interrupt what I’m about to say, got it?”

I raised a brow but shrugged. “Sure.”

“The thing is, I’m not totally sold on…all this,” he said, gesturing vaguely around the apartment. “It just…doesn’t feel right.”

“Uh, you’re going to have to be more specific,” I told him, hoping it didn’t count as interrupting.

Eric’s brow furrowed in thought. “The man I knew, the man you were. It just…it doesn’t feel right that you would go off and start helping a gang in this city, let alone becoming someone important to them.”

“I mean, you saw that boss guy.”

“He’s not the boss. Just the one who runs things in this neck of the woods. And I said, don’t interrupt,” he said with a wave of his hand. “The point is, it doesn’t add up in my head. Or I guess it just doesn’t feel right to me. Something is off about this whole thing.”

“You mean other than the complete mystery my life over the past handful of years is to both of us?” I asked dryly.

Eric snorted. “Sarcasm is unbecoming.”

“Yeah, so is being able to beat the shit out of people without thinking about it and apparently having the respect of a local gang boss,” I told him.

Eric grunted. “It just…like I said, something feels off, okay? I don’t think we’re getting the whole story here.”

I couldn’t help my heavy sigh. “So after what happened last night, and then just telling me about how you’ve learned a few lessons, you’re choosing not to believe the facts?”

“Making judgments based on limited facts is even more stupid than making them without facts,” Eric told me. I was quickly beginning to believe for all his insistence that I was stubborn, he was the one who truly wore that crown. “And I have more facts backing up my willingness to believe in you than facts about whatever happened last night.”

“That feels like you’re taking the long path to get to the same conclusion I just said.”

“Call it what you want. I’m not going to turn you away because…look, I’m not willing to give up on you, alright? So shut the fuck up and thank me.”

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