Page 5 of Help Me Remember

“No,” I said, shoulders sagging in what felt like shame.

She bent down, bringing a penlight up and sweeping it over my eyes. “Follow the light. And you don’t have any inclination of anything, not even a speck?”

I thought about the strange impulses I thought of as instincts. Continuing to follow the light until she pulled away, I realized I wasn’t going to tell her that much. The same urges I kept to myself also told me to keep that fact to myself.

“No, nothing but a massive headache, nausea, and my body hurting like I fell a couple of stories,” I told her, surprised at how easily the lie came to my lips.

“Interesting,” she said, returning to the cabinet to dig through it. “I’ve been doing this for almost thirty years, and not once in that entire time have I ever found someone suffering from complete amnesia. Loss of a day or two here and there, but that’s common when dealing with addicts and head traumas as I do here.”

I fidgeted but stilled when she turned around to set a few things on the table beside the chair. “I’m sure it’s hard to believe.”

“Downright impossible for some,” she said wryly. “I’d almost say it’s a delusion, but…”

“But?”

“But the people I typically see here with delusions also show symptoms of abusing drugs, alcohol, or more obvious mental health issues. Not that someone couldn’t suffer from a delusion while completely sober and without other severe, noticeable symptoms.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m sane,” I told her, suddenly wondering if that was just a sign I was losing my mind…or had lost it.

“And there’s still a great deal of debate about whether or not that counts as a mark in your sanity’s favor,” she said with a small, quick smile. It wasn’t much, but just that gesture was enough to make her look younger. She marched over to the door and yanked it open, calling, “Eric! I need a local in here!”

“Local?” I asked in confusion when she turned back to me.

“Anesthetic,” she explained, then arched her brow. “That is unless you want me to sew up that lovely head wound you have without numbing the area first.”

“I’d rather not,” I said sheepishly. I honestly didn’t think it could hurt any worse than I’d already been through, but there wasn’t any point in adding additional pain.

“Before that,” she said, “do me a favor and strip down.”

“Um…why?”

“Well, if you fell like you said, and were shot, then I need to examine the wounds.”

“Oh…right, yeah, sure,” I said, glancing toward the door she’d kept cracked open.

“I can have Eric wait to bring me what I need if you’re shy,” she said with a completely neutral delivery.

“No, it’s—” I shook my head and winced as the motion brought another sharp jab to the inside of my skull.

I did the best I could but slowly, untying my boots and taking off my shirt. All the sitting I had been doing might have been restful, but I’d stiffened up considerably. By the time I managed to pull my jeans off, I was ready to sit down again…and privately glad that whoever I was before my little fall wasn’t the type to go without underwear.

“Here,” she said, handing me a small paper cup and a bottle of water. “That’ll help with the pain. From the looks of it, you should be in a great deal of it at the moment.”

“Don’t really have anything to compare it to,” I admitted sheepishly but took the pills without protest.

“I suppose that’s true, though that’s even more reason for you not to be this calm,” she said, leaning forward and gently laying her fingers on my chest. “Between that and the mysterious circumstances you find yourself in, I’m certainly curious about what you were up to.”

“That makes two of us,” I said, wincing when her finger probed too deeply.

“Hey, I’ve got the—” a new voice added, and I looked over to find a man in colorful scrubs in the doorway.

He had simply stopped and stood in the doorway, staring at us as though we were completely naked and getting ready for an entirely different sort of physical exam. The thought made me cringe, and not because the woman was several years my senior. Almost immediately, I realized I would much rather share a naked moment with the man in the doorway than the doctor…or any of the women I’d seen.

Huh, I guess I found out something new about myself.

“Holy shit!” the man proclaimed, and I realized he was gaping at me. “Dylan?”

Okay, make that two new things.

---