Page 52 of The Way We Are

“Okay, okay, last ones, I promise,” Amelia’s mom swears when she switches from a digital camera to a Polaroid one. She follows us outside, tripping over the potted gerberas covering nearly every inch of their front porch.

“Mom,” Amelia pleads, embarrassed by her mom’s fussing in front of our combined friends.

“Just one in front of the limo.Please. I only have one daughter, so this is my last chance to fuss over you until your wedding.”

The bowtie around my neck feels extra restrictive when her brown eyes shift to me during her last statement.Marriage?I'm barely out of school, so I have no plans on getting married any time soon. Furthermore, I already pledged my hand in marriage to another girl...

My inner monologue trails off as I’m bombarded with disturbing memories.

I’d like to pretend my thoughts are distracted by Mrs. Roach's request for me to curl my arm around Amelia's waist, but that isn't the case. It's the sneaky thoughts of Savannah creeping into my mind as they have all day.

From the moment I slipped into my tailored suit, to five minutes ago when I circled a dusty pink rose corsage around Amelia's wrist, Savannah has been plaguing my thoughts. Amelia and Savannah look nothing alike, so the blurring of lines isn't a case of a fill-in doppelganger. It's breaking a promise I swore I wouldn’t break responsible for numerous trips down memory lane.

The plans Savannah and I made when we were eight were simple:

Age 13: Fall in love (with each other).

Age 18: Attend senior prom (with each other).

Age 20: Buy a house (with each other).

Age 24: Have a baby. If it's a boy, have more until we have a girl (with each other).

Age 28: Get married (to each other).

Savannah was adamant we had to have a daughter before we could marry because she wanted her to be the flower girl at our wedding. She also planned to name her after me. With our agreement sealed by a spit shake, we set to work on making it come true.

I crossed the first item off our list nearly a year earlier than planned. The second I’m breaking right now. I’m sure the next three will eventually crumble as well.

Marriage is not in the cards for me right now. And kids... fuck. When I was eight, the idea of having a daughter didn't terrify me. Now... now I pray I never have one. Protecting the women I already have in my life is a full-time job, I can't add more to the mix.

Hating that I'm already breaking one promise and determined not to succumb to another, I curl my arm around Amelia's waist as her mom requested and smile at the camera.

I continue smiling as we take the short five-mile trip from Amelia's house to the hotel our prom is being held at.

I continue smiling while our group poses with goofy gimmicks for the official prom photographer.

And I continue smiling when Amelia glances up into my eyes hours later to declare she's having the time of her life.

The only time my smile is removed from my face is when Amelia propels herself onto her tippy toes to seal her lips over mine.

Her kiss is as scrumptious as she looks in her dusty pink satin dress with mermaid tail. The strokes of her tongue are exploratory but not in a ghastlyeating my mouth like a zombietype of way, and her taste is refreshing with the slightest hint of the non-alcoholic punch she’s been sipping all night.

Her kiss is as sweet as the girl behind the mouth—yummy and full of goodness. But it's missing the spark I hoped it would have.

“Oh my god, I’ve been dying to do that for years,” Amelia whispers, pulling back from my mouth.

My tapered eyes widen.She did just say years, didn’t she?

Before I can reply to her confession, her friend, Mecca McDonald, nudges her shoulder. "There are rumors of a raging after-prom party at Bronte's Peak; you guys wanna come?"

Amelia turns her hopeful eyes to me. “What do you think, Ryan? Do you want to check it out?”

I nearly ask Brax and Chris if they are open to the possibility of an early departure from prom, but my words trap in my throat when I see the enthusiasm on their faces. They are as eager to blow this joint as I am to leave this town for dust first thing tomorrow morning.

“Sure, why not?”If it's my last night in this town, I may as well make it a good one.

Amelia's face lights up when she smiles at my nonchalant reply. "Okay, great. Just give us five minutes to freshen up, then we’ll head out."

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