Page 29 of The Way We Are

My mind drifts from negative thoughts when Savannah misinterprets my anger as disbelief. “I know you have no reason to believe me, Ryan—”

“I believe you,” I interrupt, dropping my eyes from the sky to her. “I just wish you would have told me sooner. If I had known...”

My words trail off when I fail to find the appropriate thing to say. I don’t know what I would have done all those years ago, but I’m certain I wouldn’t have done it alone. I would have stood by Savannah. I would have hated them with her.

Savannah’s teeth graze her bottom lip as she faintly nods, like she understands the words my mouth botched. “I wish I had told you at the start. It just hurt admitting it out loud. My dad adored my mom...” She exhales a sharp breath, settling the sniffles in her voice before finishing her sentence. “It killed him seeing her like that—with him. He hasn’t been the same man since that day.”

“I’m sorry my dad put him through that.” My voice cracks with anger, furious I am once again apologizing for my dad’s idiotic mistakes.

Although you can’t miss the annoyance in my tone, you can also hear my sincerity. Savannah’s dad worshipped his wife, so I can imagine how gutted he was when he learned of their affair. I’m sure he was just as devasted as I was when I lost Savannah’s utmost devotion.

“How is he now?” I ask as my eyes drift over Savannah’s shoulder to her massive mansion.

Savannah mentioned previously that her mom moved to Hawaii a couple of years ago, but the pain her eyes hold when she mentions her dad’s torment indicates his wounds are still fresh. He's still suffering from the loss of his marriage.

Savannah’s warm breath hits my neck when she exhales heavily. “Not good, but we are taking it one day at a time.” The sorrow in her eyes adds to the stabbing pain hitting my chest.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” I offer, panic echoing in my tone.

I doubt I could say anything to ease his burden, but I’m willing to give it a shot. I’ll do anything to lessen Savannah’s distress, even accepting the blame for something that doesn’t belong on my shoulders.

My suggestion has the effect I am aiming for. The anguish clouding Savannah’s eyes weakens as a faint grin tugs at her lips. “No. But thank you for offering.” She runs her hand down my arm, allowing her eyes to issue the remainder of her thanks.

Satisfied I have accepted her praise as intended, she gathers my clothes before handing them to me.

“Please don’t be angry at your mom, Ryan. If she read my letter, she's aware of what happened. I don’t want to add to her pain.”

I scrub my hand along the prickles on my jaw, ignoring the tick spasming there. “Even if I did confront her about your letter, she’d most likely deny its existence. It’s not the first time she’s hidden my dad’s cheating ways. I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

Savannah offers me a comforting smile. Not many people know about my home situation, but Savannah is familiar with my family’s shame.

I know I shouldn’t say shame, but it's embarrassing to admit you have an alcoholic father who hits your mother. And even if you build the courage to admit that out loud, not everyone believes you. The one time I sought help for my family situation, my mom spent a week in the hospital. I haven’t dared say anything since. That was over six years ago. Silence isn’t a solution for anything—but sometimes it's easier this way.

Peering into Savannah’s comforting eyes, I contemplate how to ask my next question without pissing her off. I stammer out, “Is that why you stay with Axel? Because you wish your father had stayed with your mom?”

Savannah doesn’t flinch at my question. She doesn’t even glower. Because she knows as well as I do that Axel is a low-life, cheating scum. But for some reason, she sticks by his side.

Axel’s floundering ways have circulated the rumor mill the entire time they’ve been together. Although I generally brush off rumors without a second thought, I’ve witnessed Axel’s wandering eyes firsthand, proving that some of the rumors are true. He even gave his number to Marnie at Bob’s Burger yesterday afternoon. She threw it in the trash when she saw the pathetic tip he left.

Although Savannah reacted more positively to my question than earlier, her reply still stuns me. "The more time Axel spends with other women, the less time he spends with me. His philanthropy works well for the both of us."

Snubbing my gaped jaw, she leans in to press a kiss to the edge of my mouth. Her lips barely brush mine, but the lower extremities of my body act on the opposite end of the spectrum.

"It's getting late, and I need to prep dinner,” she whispers against my mouth, like she too is struggling to pull away from a kiss that's more innocent than raunchy.

After one last inhale she withdraws from our embrace, then pivots on her heels. I watch her for a few seconds, relishing how many mountains we’ve scaled in an afternoon. We achieved so much in a little under two hours, so imagine the possibilities if we have an entire day?

Just before Savannah enters the cracked-open side door of her home, I call her name, forcing her to spin around.

"Nothing that happened was your fault," I assure her, my tone sincere.

She may think I mean the affair between her mom and my dad, but my tone ensures that won't be the case. She knows I'm referring to everything. Our parents’ affair. Our five-year absence. Axel's cheating ways. None of it's her fault.

Smiling a grin that makes me forget I'm standing in a low-hanging sun, wearing nothing but a pair of wet boxer shorts and a smirk, Savannah replies, "I'll see you soon, Ry-Ry."

My smirk turns into a genuine smile. “I hope so, Anna-Banana.”

10

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