Page 6 of Norah

“So, you’re sticking around for breakfast?”

“Um…” Is he having second thoughts? “If you still want me to?”

Ethan’s face turns serious. “Iabsolutelywant to spend the morning having breakfast with you, Norah. There’s nothing I’d like more.”

His sincerity strikes me so deeply, I have to pause before answering him. “I’d like that too.”

Ethan kindly lets me use the shower first, and I try to not hog all the water like I did last night. At some point last night he washed and dried my clothes from yesterday, so it’s nice to wear something that isn’t a few sizes too large. The jeans are a little too tight from the dryer, and I surprise myself yet again when I realize I’m checking out my ass in the mirror. When was the last time I cared what I looked like? For Ethan, I care more than I want to admit.

As I wait for Ethan to get ready, I sit on the couch and stew in my self doubt. It was one thing to agree to last night, but in the light of day, I can’t stop worrying. It’s not that I’m worried about myself, but about him. Ethan may not realize it yet, but I do- I’m not a good person. My selfish desire to feel normal, to spend time with this man who intrigues me so much, could end up hurting someone who has shown me nothing but kindness.

“Are you ready to go?”

Ethan looks fantastic, in a green button-down that matches his eyes, and well-worn jeans that show off his muscular legs. He’s clean-shaven, and I can’t decide if he looks sexier with the stubble or without it. Both ways are equally sexy, I decide. And I marvel at the fact I’m debating whether facial hair is sexy, when I haven’t even looked at a man with anything approaching interest in years.

I stand up, shaking off my reservations, and try to smile past my nerves. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Breakfast is honestly a blur. I haven’t been to a restaurant in a long time, and the place Ethan chose is abuzz with activity. Ethan’s constant and addictive presence has me all twisted and off balance, and I’m being too quiet. He’s talking, and I’m responding, but it’s hard for me to speak other than in single word responses. I’m sure he thinks I’m an antisocial freak, which isn’t too far from the truth.

“Hey, are you alright?” Ethan reaches across the table and touches my hand lightly. “Is this place too loud? I like the food, but it gets pretty busy.” He looks worried and apologetic, and it makes me feel terrible that I’m the one who is changing the mood.

I answer honestly, “I just… don’t go out a lot, and it’s been a long time since I did something like this.” And now I truly sound like a freak. “Ugh. That sounds bad. I mean, I…” I sputter to a mortifying stop, and bury my face in my hands.

“Norah, stop.Nothingyou say sounds bad. I can tell you’re kind of uncomfortable, but I’m wondering ifI’mthe reason you’re feeling that way.”

Yes. No. I don’t know.Ethan holds my gaze as he waits for me to answer. The scared part of me wants to say yes, he’s making me uncomfortable, and walk away alone. The way I have been. But I can’t make myself walk away.

“You don’t make me uncomfortable. It’s more how Ifeelaround you that feels that way.” Ethan blinks and pulls his hand away from mine. “It’s only… I don’t let myself ever open up to anyone, and with you… I want to. And it’s kind of scary. But I still want to be here with you, because I feel something…” I sigh.Ugh. Why am I so bad at this?“I don’t know if I’m making any sense.”

“So,doyou want to spend time with me?” He strokes one finger across the top of my hand, and it feels like my whole body fills with heat.

“Yes. I hope that’s OK?”

Ethan places his hand on top of mine, enveloping it in his warmth. “It’s more than OK. You have no idea how happy it makes me.” The noise in the diner fades as I sit there across from him, his large hand enclosing mine, and the knot in my chest loosens. Ethan keeps gazing at me steadily, as I sense he’s preparing his next words. “Norah, I want to see you again. Would that be alright?”

Just say yes.

“Yes. I would really like that.”

Driving Me Crazy

ETHAN

It’s been nearly a week since I saw Norah and it’s been driving me crazy.

At breakfast last weekend, she agreed to meet me today for our first official date. I know she’s freaked out, and I’m worried that she’ll bail. We texted a few times during the week, but I didn’t want to push and scare her off. She’s like a wild creature; every movement needs to be gentle, or she’ll run away.

Norah is so gorgeous, and sweet, and funny when she opens up; I can’t understand why she isn’t taken. Or why she’s so alone. Looking into her eyes, so sad most of the time, I want to figure out how to take the sorrow away.

I’ve felt nothing like this before with a woman, especially so quickly. When I think about her stormy gray-blue eyes lighting up for me, smiling at me, I’m already halfway in love.

But it’s fifteen minutes past the time we’re supposed to meet, and Norah’s not here. I’m battling with the desire to text her, but also to be patient. I hoped she wouldn’t chicken out, but I’ve been mentally preparing myself for the disappointment.

Another five minutes tick by, and I’m now fighting back dismay. I thought she felt something for me, but maybe I was wrong. Or maybe she’s too afraid. Dammit.Come on, Norah.

Her absence is worrying, too, because I can’t forget about the reason I met Norah in the first place. Whatever is going on in her life to force her on that bridge, I know it hasn’t disappeared. I may have seen her eyes light up, and some moments that seemed like happiness, but I can’t delude myself into thinking that everything is alright.

Just as I’m accepting that she’s not coming, I see her walking towards me. I’m waiting on a park bench by the water, and can see the moment she spots me. Her smile is hesitant, but it’s there. As she gets closer, I’m astounded by her beauty all over again. In the sunlight, her chestnut hair falls in waves of red, gold, and brown.

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