Page 34 of Norah

We all chat for a while, until Roman gets a text from a ski buddy wanting to meet him at one of the local bars. He invites us along, but we politely decline. It’s been nice talking to Roman, and very informative, but I’m ready to take Norah back to our room for some private time. After exchanging thanks and contact info, Roman takes off, and I’m glad to have Norah all to myself again.

She’s staring into the fire, eyes distant, teeth gnawing at her lower lip. Norah looks more vulnerable than I’ve seen her in months, and I wonder if meeting Roman was a bad thing after all. I pull her onto my lap and tip her chin up to look at me. Arms wrapped around her, protecting her, I give her a tiny jostle. “Hey. Are you doing OK? I know that was a lot.”

Her gaze locks with mine, her previously calm eyes now stormy. “Yeah, I’m OK. It was… unexpected.” She pauses a moment in contemplation. “It was good to meet someone else like me. To find some answers. To see that he was nice. I guess I’m just feeling a little unsettled. I assumed any other vampires I met would be like Frederick, but Roman isn’t. And I’m… a little angry too. I should have known this years ago. I should have had a choice about being turned, like Roman.”

“Would you have chosen differently? Chosen to die that night five years ago?” I think I know the answer, and it makes my heart hurt.

“Maybe before. Maybe a few years ago, I would have. But then I wouldn’t be withyou. So I guess… no, Iknow… I’m glad it happened this way. Because after all the bad stuff, it brought me to you. Andthat’sthe most important thing.”

Oh, my heart. Every time I think I can’t possibly love her more, she does something that expands that love even further. I pull Norah closer; if I could pull her inside me I would, so I’d never have to let her go. “Oh, baby. Norah, my love.” Her breath is soft against my chest. “I wish you could feel how much I love you.”

A pause. She tilts her head back, away from my chest, and gives me a wicked little smile. One arched eyebrow raises devilishly. “I have another idea.” A quick kiss, then she pulls back. “How about you take me back to our room and show me?”

Unwelcome Visitor

ETHAN

“Why did you decide to join the military?”

I look up from the cutting board where I’ve been chopping peppers and fix my gaze on Norah as she stands in the living room inspecting my photos. There are several images from my Navy days, and she’s looking at one from my first day at the Naval Academy.

It was so long ago. I was just eighteen, so full of myself and overflowing with confidence. Too much confidence, so blissfully unaware of the actual challenges that would await. I’ve avoided talking to Norah about my time in the Navy, not wishing to relive any of the darker times.

“I was young, cocky, and arrogant.” She glances at me in surprise, and I smile ruefully at the memory of the boy I once was. “I did it for the wrong reasons, unfortunately.”

Eyebrows raised, eyes questioning, Norah walks into the kitchen and stands across the island to face me. “What do you mean?”

“I thought it would be a challenge. I had some friends who were older and had enlisted already; they would come home with stories about how intense it was. They would talk about the physical and mental challenges, and that appealed to me. I thought I could excel in the military because I excelled at sports and school.”

“That doesn’t sound bad. What makes you say you joined for the wrong reasons?”

I pick up the paring knife and cut a few slices of pepper as I think. “I liked the idea of advancement in the Navy. Proving I could be the best. Before I’d even applied, I had a whole trajectory planned out- the Naval Academy, then SEAL training, working my way up through the ranks. And it was pretty easy for me, compared to a lot of the guys I knew. I was naturally athletic, and picked up stuff quickly. I blew through all the goals I had set for myself, feeling invincible.”

Her brow furrows as she settles on to a stool and leans closer. “And then what?”

I don’t like admitting this part.But if Norah can share everything with me, I owe the same to her. “I didn’t realize until I was a SEAL, heading overseas, that the main reason I wanted to join was toprovesomething. To prove that I could succeed where thousands of others couldn’t. I didn’t join because of a duty to our country. I did it because I wanted to show I could be the best.”

“Once I was out in the field, surrounded by guys dedicated to defending our country, I felt like a fraud. They risked their lives to protect our country, and I had gotten there because I liked the challenge. It made me feel like the worst kind of person. And then…” My throat gets thick, and I have to stop.

“It’s OK, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She slides the knife from my hand and twines her fingers through mine.

I push aside my discomfort and give Norah the truth she deserves. “We were on a mission overseas. Things were going as planned, but then everything suddenly went all to shit. Half the men on my team died. But I walked away with only minor injuries.” My jaw grits at the memory. “The guys that died were there because theybelievedin the mission. And then there’s me, this cocky guy who just wanted to win, and I walked away. It didn’t seem fair.”

I glance up from the counter to check Norah’s expression, searching for the disgust I still feel towards myself, but there’s nothing but compassion etched across her face. “Ethan… I think you’re holding yourself to an impossible standard. You don’t knowwhysomeone joins the military; it’s a different reason for each person. I don’t think there’s just one that’s right.”

I shake my head, but she stops me with a touch to my chin. “Whatever your reasons at the start, you dedicated years to the Navy and our country. You could have done a thousand other things that would have allowed you to excel. But you put your life on the line, and thatmeanssomething.”

Stepping around the island, she puts her hands on my shoulders. “You are a good, kind, and brave man who went through a terrible experience. But you areno less worthythan anyone else of being here. You’ve saved people in the Navy, and yousaved me. And to me, that makes you ahero. And… you’re definitely my hero. Without you, I… I don’t know where I’d be.”

She’s staring up at me, forcing me to believe her. Eyes wide and determined, cheeks flushed, and lips trembling with emotion. I smooth her silken hair, twining it between my fingers as I fight back the urge to cry.How can Norah do this?To sense the perfect thing to say that makes me feel complete? The lock box I pushed these memories into isn’t just cracked; Norah’s love and empathy has broken it. The thoughts that have haunted me are released, at last bringing me peace.

“Ethan?” She sounds worried by my silence. “Are you OK? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong. What you said… it’s beyond anything I could have dreamed of. I…Thank you.” I hug her so tightly she lets out a small squeak of surprise. The depth of my love towards her scares me. It’s so intense. Like I’d die if I couldn’t have her. “I love you so freaking much, Norah. You’re my everything.Always.”

NORAH

“Happy New Year!”

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