Page 20 of Norah

Which is ridiculous, because I know without question that Norah would never hurt me. And it’s that connection we have that also makes me so absolutely certain that everything she’s told me is the truth.

But how?

I barely realize I’ve spoken out loud until Norah responds. “I’ll tell you… but can we please sit down?”

“Of course.” I pause. “Norah, I believe you. I do. I just need to knowhow.”

She blinks in surprise, then heads over to the couch to squeeze in between the pillows. She wraps her arms around her knees, drops her chin to rest on them, and begins in a low voice. “Five years ago, I attended a party thrown by one of my work friends. I hadn’t really wanted to go, since her parties got pretty crazy, but she wouldn’t let me say no.”

“Once I got there, I knew my instincts were right- the party was too loud, crowded, people were smoking- I couldn’t wait to leave. But I thought I’d get crap if I left too early, so I went out on the balcony. That’s where I met Frederick.”

Norah’s voice has gotten progressively lower, so I shift closer to hear her. “He was nice. Not my type, but he was polite and seemed intelligent. He noticed I wasn’t enjoying myself and suggested that we find someplace quiet to talk.”

That fucker!I know whatthatline means.

“I figured it would be OK, since he knew my friend, and the diner was just around the block.” She sighs heavily. “So stupid, right? I should have known better. But I left with him. The last thing I remember was us standing in the elevator. I was talking to him, and then, nothing. It’s all a blank, until I woke up in the room, alone.”

Fuck!I want to kill the guy.Kill. And I want to stop Norah from reliving this. She’s suffering as she talks, but she needs to get this out. So I hold myself still, inches away but not touching her, and wait for the story to continue.

“I was in a tiny gray room with a barred window and locked door. There was something blocking the window, soundproofing, I think. I freaked out then, because I was sure that whatever happened next would be terrible.” Her voice shakes, and she hunches further into herself.

“I tried yelling, banging on the door, but nothing. I’m not sure how long it took before someone arrived. It was Frederick. I begged him to let me out, but he just gave me this strange look and told me I’d be returned home soon enough. Once my destiny was fulfilled. Those were his exact words.”

“So I was frantic, still begging and crying, but he just grabbed my arm and yanked me onto the bed. I went totally berserk, trying to escape. Then suddenly, my whole body froze. I couldn’t even speak. All I could do was stare as Frederick leaned over me, fangs appearing, and sunk them into my throat. Everything slowed, and I could feel blackness closing in. I was sure that I was dying.”

I’m overwhelmed with pain for Norah. The idea of someone treating her so cruelly makes me want to scream. I want to pull her into my arms and hold her there forever, to protect her from this horror.Just get it out. Unburden yourself, and then I’ll help you heal.

NORAH

This is the worst part.

“When I woke up, I was aching, confused, and my stomach was in agony. Frederick was there, but not alone. He had a guy with him, in ragged clothes, and clearly out of it. Frederick said he was going to show me how to feed. He told me I needed to do it right away. I didn’t even know what he meant until he bit the guy’s neck and shoved it against my face. I was horrified, even more so, when fangs appeared in my mouth and latched on to the bleeding man.”

I can still remember the terror when I realized my body was no longer under my control. My body rocks as I try to work through the memories. “I was drinking blood, and I hated it, but my body wouldn’t let me stop. I was terrified I’d kill him.

And Frederick just stood there, watching as I struggled. I kept thinkingstop, stop, stop,and finally my fangs withdrew and I could pull away. Blood was everywhere, and my mind just went blank with shock.”

I slant a glance at Ethan. He’s sitting only inches away, eyes pinched closed, unmoving and tense. I let out a sigh and gather myself to finish. “When I came to awareness, I realized the man I had bitten was close to death. I was alone with him, covered in blood, desperately trying to bandage his wounds with fabric I ripped from my shirt. I banged on the door, screamed, begged for someone to help.”

“Finally, Frederick responded from the other side and told me it was too late. Then he left. When I finally accepted that help wasn’t coming, I sat by the dying man and held his hand until he was gone.”

“Later, Frederick came back and explained to me I would have to take blood, and feed, and use my fangs. He told me I wasn’t human anymore, that I had special gifts. I barely heard him. I could only think of one thing;that I was a killer.”

My whole body is shaking, but I force the last bits of the story out. “Everything went black again, and I woke up in my apartment, still covered in blood. That was when my old life ended. I couldn’t be around people or go to work; I was terrified that I’d hurt someone.

Because of the nights I would wake up screaming from nightmares, I moved to a soundproofed apartment. I found a new job that I could do from home. I didn’t feed until I figured out how to use my fangs, so I wouldn’t hurt anyone when I fed. And I tried to become numb, to forget what I had become.”

I feel empty, carved out by all that I told Ethan. I can’t even look at him, afraid of the judgment I’ll surely see in his eyes. So his touch is a shock, as he pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me.

“I’mso sorry, Norah. So damn sorry.” His voice is rough, and when I peek at his face, his eyes are wet.

“I know, I’m not the person you thought I was.”And it hurts so much.

“Baby, there are so many things I want to say, but I just need a minute first. I just need to hold you.” His arms tighten and he leans his head against mine. I wish I could crawl inside Ethan, so he could never let me go.

Several minutes go by until he speaks again. He shifts me in his lap so I can see his face, pained and intense. “Norah. I need you to look at me when I tell you all this. You arenota bad person. You arenota killer.Nothingthat happened was of your doing."

"Itkillsme you’ve been torturing yourself over something that was donetoyou, not somethingyoudid. Nothing you said changes how I see you or feel about you.Not one thing.It just makes me more in awe of your strength to face all that alone.”

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