Page 65 of Norah

For a second, I consider telling him I want to go back. Escape to our little hideaway and keep avoiding the rest of the world. No. I owe it to myself and Ethan to see it through. So I force my voice to remain steady. “No. This is something Iwantto do. I’m scared, but I won’t let it control me.I can do this. And I’ve got you, so I know I can do anything.”

Strong arms pull me into a sudden embrace. Lips capturing mine, he kisses me hard. His tongue sweeps across the seam of my lips, then slides inside to explore, teasing and swirling. I gasp into his mouth as his tongue continues its seductive dance with mine.

All nervousness is a faint memory as a flush of heat rushes through my body, and my core tightens with need. I moan softly, not caring that we’re in public for anyone to hear. All I care about is Ethan and the incredible sensations he’s evoking as his mouth devours mine.

As fast as the kiss started, it stops. Ethan pulls his lips from mine and a smile spreads across his face. I can’t help but let out a small growl of frustration, and his smile widens. I sag against his chest, legs weak, as I fight to regain my composure. “My brave girl,” he whispers, “I’m so proud of you.”

He kisses my forehead, then turns me around so I’m tucked back into his side. I take a few shaky breaths as I try to force the strength back into my wobbly legs. I’ve only just recovered when our realtor strides up to us, beaming and talking a mile a minute.

This is the first time we’ve met in person, and she’s… a lot. Bright white teeth and immaculately groomed, power suit perfectly tailored; she’s all ambition and drive in a fast talking package. But I like her almost immediately.

Robyn-with a “y”- is friendly without being obsequious or fake. There are no lies I can see, no darkening around her, and I can tell she’s sincere in everything she says. We follow her to the elevator, Robyn still chattering away, and Ethan gives me a quick questioning glance. I know what he’s asking and respond with a nod.She’s OK. I think we can trust her.

When we arrive at the apartment on the tenth floor, my anxiety comes back in a rush. I don’t know why I’ve attached such importance tothisplace, but I want it to bethe one. Gut instinct perhaps, or an intense need to find a new home. A new start. Maybe a combination of the two. Ethan gives a small tug on my arm and I realize I’ve been standing frozen in the doorway while Robyn waits for me to enter.

I quickly walk inside. “Sorry. I was just…”

“Taking it all in.” She smiles at me. “It is important to absorb the first impression when you view an apartment.” Something in her eyes tells me she saw my brief panic and is trying to cover for me, so I won’t feel uncomfortable.

I smile back at Robyn, trying to express my gratitude without words. A shared look passes between us, a shared understanding, and the brief exchange helps the worst of my anxiety to disappear. She picks back up with her cheerful chatter, and we follow her throughout the apartment.

As we continue on our tour, the last of my nervousness fades away. I’m gripping Ethan’s hand tightly, but it’s in excitement, not from fear. Everything in the apartment is perfect, almost like someone created a home just for me. The two bedrooms aren’t large, but they’re bright and cheery. Unique built-in shelving gives me lots of ideas for decorating, and there’s a cute little alcove that looks like the ideal spot for a reading nook.

The living room is full of character, with exposed brick walls and a fireplace that cries out for wine and relaxed evenings. But out of everything, the deck is by far the best. It’s big, nearly the size of one bedroom, and the view is unimpeded by any surrounding buildings. From one side, I can even see a nearby park, green and flowering.

I stand in the middle of the deck and look up, imagining a vast brilliance of stars above me. Ethan wraps his arm around my side and tilts his head against mine. Standing like this, I can see our future here, happy and complete.

“What do you think?” Ethan’s gaze meets mine, his eyes promising everything.

“I love it. It’sperfect.”

Turning to face me, Ethan presses a soft kiss against my lips. A small smile appears as he says, “Then it’s yours.”

I Can Feel Everything

ETHAN

“I think that’s everything.” Norah walks into the empty living room holding a cardboard box in her arms. She hands it to me with a grin, eyes sparkling with excitement.

Propping the box on my hip, I grab Norah with my free arm and pull her into a hug. “Are you ready to lock up and head to the new place?”

“Definitely.” She grins and stretches up to kiss my cheek. “I can’t wait to get into our new home!”

It’s great to watch Norah like this. She’s bubbling over with excitement, and her expression is the happiest I’ve seen in a while. I wasn’t sure how she’d handle coming back to my apartment, given that it’s the first time being here since the attack. Everything had been cleaned and repaired, so there were no visible reminders of what happened. We had the movers come to pack almost everything ahead of time, so there are only a few things to collect before we leave the apartment for good.

Norah insisted she would be fine and only focused on grabbing the last few items left behind. But I still worried that being here might trigger a panic attack or cause a regression in all the progress she’s made in the last several weeks.

I noticed a slight tightening of her features when she walked into the bedroom, a tensing of her shoulders, but she shook it off quickly. For the rest of the time we’ve been walking through the empty rooms, Norah has been upbeat, chatting about all the things she wants to do in our new home.

Norah smiles as she says, “I’m so glad they could get us into the new apartment already.”

“I know. It took some convincing, but Robyn made it work.” Once I explained to her the importance of leaving the old place, alluding to the past trauma without giving away any details, Robyn made it her mission to close the deal as quickly as possible.

Throughout the entire transaction, the sensitivity that our realtor has shown towards Norah impressed me. Now we’re moving into our new home only three weeks after having our offer accepted, and I’ll be forever grateful to Robyn for it.

Norah has been improving during the last month, her nightmares decreasing to once or twice a week, and her panic attacks almost gone. She doesn’t like being alone and still tenses up at certain noises.

I don’t mind keeping Norah in my sights all the time, for my sake, as much as hers. It’s a slow progression towards near normalcy, and I think that us moving into a new home is just what we both need to keep moving forward in this positive direction.

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