Page 46 of Norah

His expression is sad, the face of a man who knows he can’t have what he wants most. I want to be angry at his words, but how can I begrudge him for having feelings towards Norah when I know how incredible she is? A brief flicker of worry zips through me.What if Norah would prefer Roman to me?A quick glance at her face makes that worry disappear immediately. I see empathy towards Roman, sorrow for his pain, but no hint of regret or indecision. Her eyes are only for me.

Roman coughs, swallows, then goes on. “Self-preservation can also be selfish, and I can’t be selfish about this. I’ve heard of some strange things happening recently; things that could be dangerous. I needed to warn both of you. For Norah… youknowwhy. And Ethan, so you can protect her, if it comes to that.”

“What things?” Wide-eyed, tense, Norah’s nails dig into the palm of my hand.

“I don’tknowthat it’s anything sinister or suspicious, but… there have been a few vampires killed over the last several months. It’s… unusual.” Roman takes a sip from his wine glass, then says, “As you know, it’s difficult to kill a vampire. So hearing of four deaths in as many months is not typical. At all. One of them was a friend. He was careful. He didn’t take risks or do anything more dangerous than a normal human.”

“I’m friendly with quite a few people like us across the country. When I hear buzzing, people getting worried, it makes me think there’s something to it. I only remember one vampire’s death in the last ten years; a man who took his own life. Nothing suspicious about it. Maybe these recent deaths are unrelated; I hope they are. But I worry. I have a bad feeling, and I had to let you know. If something more sinister is going on, you need to watch your backs.”

Well. Of all the things I could have expected hearing, this wasn’t it.And if it’s true, it’s another question to add to the list of things we don’t know about being a vampire. Have one question answered, two more pop up.Great.

“Why do you have a bad feeling about it?” Norah’s voice quivers, but she doesn’t appear to be freaking out. Yet. As she looks across the booth at Roman, it seems almost like an unspoken message travels between them. Her eyes are almost completely gray, like a stormy ocean at night. “Is there a reason you think we could be in danger?”

Roman blinks at her, and a small frown twists his lips. He seems almost taken aback by her question, and pauses before answering. “Sometimes I can see people’s feelings; I call it an aura. I sense strong emotions, like if someone is furious or devastated about something.

Other times, I see a premonition of the future. If an event is going to create powerful emotions, I can see its aura. So if something terrible is going to happen to someone, I can tell. I don’t see specifics likewhatwill occur orwhen. Just that it will be soon.”

He looks over at Norah. “If we’ve already met, I don’t have to be physically with the person to sense the aura. When I first met you, I saw happiness. When I thought of you again, after Ethan’s message, I saw something bad. That’s why I needed to warn you. Even though you aren’t mine, Norah, I want you to be safe.”

My stomach is now somewhere around my feet, because I realized what Norah just did. She made him tell her the truth. And the truth isnot good. Before I can say anything, Norah’s out of her seat and sliding in beside Roman. I can see the shine of tears welling up in her eyes.

He looks at her warily at first, then an expression of understanding dawns. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, “But Ihadto know.” She takes both his hands and says, “I’mtrulysorry, Roman. I hope you can forgive me.”

As much as I want to pull them apart, I understand I need to let this moment happen. Roman releases Norah’s hands and, after a pause, says, “I understand. But next time, you can just ask. I’llalwaystell you the truth.”

Her eyes are stricken, and a few tears slip down her cheeks. I’m about two seconds from going over there to comfort her when Roman tugs her into a loose hug and says, “You’re already forgiven.”

NORAH

Somehow, he knew what I was doing.

Which makes me feel ten times worse. But Roman forgave me without question, showing his true nature. I knowI’mnot the woman for him, but I really hope he finds someone whois.

Bombshells dropped and uncomfortable apologies given, our evening quickly comes to a close. We all finish our drinks, make vague promises to go skiing sometime, and close out the night with a round of polite hugs and handshakes. I give Roman one last apologetic glance before Ethan and I leave the bar, and he meets it with a rueful smile. For a moment I hesitate, wondering if I should say more, but Ethan tugs me out to the street.

The slap of cold is wicked after the heat of the small bar, and Ethan draws me in closer to his side as we hustle back towards our apartment. I’m quiet, thinking, when he says, “You shouldn’t feel bad. Anyone else would have done it if they could. And now we know the truth.”

I can’t control the bitter laugh that escapes. “I’m not sure which part of it was worse. Forcing a friend to do something against his will, or finding out we have something terrible awaiting us. Great news all around, isn’t it?”

Ethan’s silence is worse than an immediate response. It means he agrees with me, which worries me even more. After a solid minute of walking, he replies. “First, Roman understands. And you know you’re completely forgiven because of how he feels about you. Which I don’t enjoy hearing or saying, but it’s the truth.”

“Regarding what he said, there’s still a lot we don’t know. We don’t know how bad this unknown thing he saw actually is. It’s ambiguous. And we don’t know if it’s a forgone conclusion either. We make thousands of decisions every day that can change the outcome of our futures. Now we’re forewarned, which will affect all that happens after this.”

Iwantto believe everything Ethan’s saying, but there’s still a niggling doubt. And the little dark voice makes itself heard after months of silence. It whispers,you knew it would be too good to last. The difference between hearing the voice now, versus many months ago, is that now Ichooseto listen to Ethan instead. Ichooseto listen to the man I love, instead of some dark piece of me that tries to undermine and hurt. Ichooseto believe the words of my future husband, not words formed from fear.

Decision made, I force back the doubt and say, “You’re right.” His eyes widen in mock surprise as he clamps a hand over his chest in shock. “Yes, I said it. Don’t rub it in. I’m just realizing that I can either focus on all the bad stuff thatcouldhappen, but it won’t change the eventual outcome. So it’s a waste of time to keep worrying.”

As we pass under a streetlamp, the light illuminates Ethan’s expression. I see pride as he gazes down at me. “Norah… I don’t want to sound condescending, but I’m really proud of you. You would never have considered doing that when we first met. You worried about everything, and it was eating you up inside. I’ve always wanted you to be free of that weight. I’m so happy that you are.”

“Well,” I admit, “I don’t think that I can stop worrying abouteverything.”

“Of course not. No one can. It’s smart to worry about some things. But now we can share the burden.It’s not all on you anymore.”

It’s true, though still hard to believe. I have a partner.My love. My future husband. Someone to share things with, both good and bad. The words fill my heart and push off some of the heaviness of the evening. At once, I decide that I’ve had enough gloom for one night.Time to do something more fun.

So I take a step away from Ethan and give him a mischievous grin. “This walk is taking too long, and it’s cold. Let’s see who can get home quickest.” I’ve started running before I finish speaking, and I kick into high gear, moving so quickly I’m nothing but a blur.

I want to have some fun, so I don’t go the most direct route. I zigzag across several streets, wondering if Ethan will follow me or just go straight home. Zipping up and down alleyways, I hop from one fire escape to another, like an extreme vampire version of parkour.

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