Page 38 of Norah

“What? That can’t be possible.”

“It is possible. It’s the truth. Be honest with yourself, Norah. Do you really think Ethan wouldn’t ask you to do this yourself, eventually? Do you think he would be fine with growing old while you stay young forever? Ethan didn’t want me to make you do it now, because he thought it would hurt you. I agreed. Either way, it was going to be done, as fate has decreed.”

He leans close, only inches from me, spearing my gaze. “If you think yourself evil, simply because you’re a vampire, then it would mean that Ethan is now evil, too. Do you believe that?”

Everything is so mixed up.Fear, shock, anger, despair- all blending together. I think of how I saw myself before meeting Ethan, and the way I see myself now. All the ways he’s proven himself to me. All the ways he’s brought me back to life. The love he has for me. “No,” I whisper, “He could never be evil.”

A genuine smile appears, softening the rigid planes of his face. “This will be good for you. And for him. You’ll do many great things together for a very long time. I am certain of it.” Frederick stands, smoothing the creases from his pants.

“Now I have to go. There is enough blood for Ethan when he awakens. I’d estimate about five or six hours from now. He’ll need that right away. Beyond that, his needs will be like yours.” He gestures towards the kitchen. “Everything is in there. I got some blood bags after I was told my previous method was not acceptable.” His head bows, regret once again clear.

I stand as Frederick walks to the door, unsure of what to say or do. After everything that’s happened, it feels like something has shifted inside of me. Frederick is no longer an abstract monster, but a man, however flawed.

My feelings about what he did to Ethan are mixed up, too. I need more time to untangle them, to determine which to keep or discard. Frederick’s hand rests on the doorknob, pausing for a moment before leaving. He’s just a man, I tell myself, not a monster anymore.

“Frederick.” He turns back, startled. “I just wanted to say… I accept your apology. And I… I wouldn’t have had it any different. Even after all the bad stuff, it was all worth it. Because it all brought me to Ethan. I just wanted you to know.”

His lips lift into a small smile, and for the first time, I realize he’s actually beautiful. “Thanks, Norah.” He nods at me as he heads out the door. “See you soon.”

As the doorknob snicks closed, and silence surrounds me, one thought jumps to mind. See me soon?

ETHAN

I’m alive. At least, I think I am.

As I come to awareness, the fog in my head clearing, I focus on the sensations around me. I hear breathing, two distinct sighs in and out, one deeper and one soft. There are fingers in my hair, smoothing and combing gently. I smell vanilla and orange, a mixture that never ceases to soothe me.

I assess my body, starting at my toes and heading upward. Some aches, hunger, and dragging fatigue. Nothing too alarming, yet. Eyes still shut, I turn my head towards the hand in my hair and feel the skimming of silken skin across my cheek.Ahhh. My Norah. At once desperate to see her, I push aside the lingering exhaustion and open my eyes.

My love.Her blue-gray eyes are swirling with emotion, stormy seas during a hurricane. Her brow wrinkles in concern, worry drawing her skin tightly across her delicate features. Bow lips pressed together, small teeth biting down hard enough to leave a mark. Her thick chestnut hair drapes around her face and rests on my shoulders, surrounding me in warmth.She’s so beautiful.

“You’re awake.” A relieved sigh puffs out. “I’ve been so worried.” Her hands flutter around my face, like she’s checking to make sure I’m actually there. “How are you feeling?”

I reach up to smooth out the tiny creases in her forehead, then allow my fingers to trace across her lovely features. My fingertips linger on her lips, releasing them from her worrying teeth, and she kisses them lightly. “I feel… OK. Not nearly as bad as I expected. Achy, tired, hungry. But I’m so happy to see you.”

She leans in to press a kiss to my lips, and I can feel her slight tremble.She’s scared. For me.Looking up at her, I feel a surge of love so intense it makes my chest actually hurt. Pulling away, she jumps up. “I have blood for you. Frederick said you should drink all of it. It’ll make you feel better.”

Norah dashes out of the room and returns before I can blink, holding an armful of blood bags. My hunger flares at the sight, which feels odd, yetright. I push myself into a seated position while Norah opens one bag and hands it to me. When I reach out for it, I’m surprised to see my hand shaking.

Once I start drinking, my body comes alive.It’s crazy.All the times Norah fed from me, I never imagined it felt likethis. Like my body is actively drawing in the nutrients as I drink. It’s not like regular food, where you eat and then some time later your body processes everything without you even realizing it. This is energy and power filling my body with every draw of blood.

I keep drinking, Norah passing me fresh bags as fast as I empty them. I finally start to feel sated as I open the last one, and try to give it to Norah, but she insists on me finishing all of it. When I’m all done, I take a moment to assess my body again. Aches- gone. Hunger- definitely gone. Fatigue- nearly back to normal. And I feel powerful. Strong.It’s incredible.

“How do you feel now?” Norah sits down beside me again, inspecting me for any potential problems. She looks less stressed than before, but I can still see the strain in her eyes. Now that my initial hunger is gone, concern flares.How is she handling this?

She’s been outwardly calm, but how is she processing all that’s happened? Seeing the monster from her nightmares would have been traumatic enough, but then coupled with me being changed into a vampire by said monster, this could easily be enough to traumatize her.

I pull Norah into my lap in one fluid motion, settling her into my lap. She startles, but then relaxes into me with a soft little sigh. I tip her chin up to meet her eyes, trying to read the emotion behind them. “I feel good. Great, actually. But how areyoufeeling?”

She blinks at me, confused. “I’m OK… but why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you had to deal with a lot.” I snuggle her closer, breathing in her scent. “Seeing Frederick… and how do you feel about me changing? I know you didn’t want me to.” A flash of fear suddenly sends cramps to my gut.She could be angry that I dealt with Frederick alone. She could feel betrayed. Shit.

“Are you upset with me? About telling him to do it instead of you? I was just trying to help you. If I screwed up, I’m so sorry.” My arms tighten in anticipation of Norah possibly trying to push me away.

Silence. I’m about five seconds from freaking out when she responds. “I’m not upset with you. And I understand why you did it. I wish I had been a part of the conversation, but that’s not your fault. And maybe it’s better I wasn’t. I probably would have made everything worse.”

She tucks her head into my chin. “Talking to Frederick was… well, he’s not the monster I thought he was. And I realized something important. Everything that he did, it brought me to you. So I can’t be angry about it anymore. I thought… that you becoming like me was the worst possible thing that could happen to you."

---