Page 25 of Norah

But he won’t be happy seeing what I do. I hate the whole process- dressing in tight, revealing clothes, flirting with strange men, taking a man outside and being alone with him… And having to take the man’s blood, touch him… it’s awful and leaves me feeling unclean for days afterwards.

When Ethan suggested I could take his blood, a part of me rejoiced at the idea. Never having to come to these bars would be such a relief. Maybe sharing this experience with someone I loved and trusted would make it less unbearable. Then I remembered that man on the floor, bleeding, dying, in part because of me.I can’t take the chance of hurting him.

The door opens behind me, and I realize it’s Ethan coming inside. I’m still standing near the entrance, instead of heading towards the bar. I turn my head and see Ethan’s alert yet comforting gaze, and nearly rush into his arms. He raises his eyebrows imperceptibly, as if asking if everything is OK.

Stop being a baby, and get this over with, I remind myself. So I give him a tiny nod, then hurry to the bar and claim an empty seat.

I need to do this. I order a beer, not because I like the taste, but because I’ve found it seems to make me more approachable. Approachable means I can find a guy sooner and go back to Ethan. Assuming he’s not completely disgusted by watching me feed, which has crossed my mind about twenty times today. The dark voice has been silent lately, but it chooses now to resurface.Maybe he’ll decide he can’t be with you once he sees what you really are.

My gut clenches and I nearly leap up from my seat at the thought. But I force myself to stay and renew my determination to show Ethan everything about me. He needs to know the whole truth, unpleasant parts included, to decide if he truly wants to be with me.

A voice behind me interrupts my thoughts. “Is this seat taken?” I turn to see a tall-ish man with wavy brown hair and sunburnt skin looking admiringly at me. He’s attractive in an over-confident way, and dressed a little too preppy for this kind of bar. Despite his broad smile, there’s something in his eyes I don’t quite trust.

I smile back at him, and ready my one of the usual screening questions. “I don’t know, it depends. Are you a nice guy?”

His grin gets almost wolfishly large as he responds. “Of course I am. I’malwaysnice to beautiful women.”

I fight back my instinct to flee as I watch the clinging shadows crawl across his face, turning it sinister. My face stays neutral, conditioned by years of seeing this strange darkness on the faces of liars. As I watch the thickening black mist swirl over his features, I realize that this man is dangerous.

The intensity of the shadow shows the depth of his lie and tells me he is thefarthest thingfrom nice to women. Even knowing my hidden strength, I’m frightened by this man, but manage a tight smile. “I’m actually meeting a friend here, and he probably would be mad if he showed up, and you were sitting next to me. Thanks, though.”

His eyes narrow at me, angry, and I worry that he’ll try to make a scene. But the bartender is watching him, so he backs away. Once he’s moved to the other side of the bar, I breathe out a shaky sigh, then glance around, looking for Ethan.

He’s seated at a high top about twenty feet away, rigidly tense, and staring at me from over his drink. Although he looks anything but happy, his presence still reassures me, and I give him a tiny smile. He tilts his lips upwards, but the rest of his face is stormy.

I turn back to face the bar and take a small sip of beer to steady myself.Please let whoever comes up next be OK. Maybe I won’t even check if he’s lying.Anythingto get this torture over with. Another man hits on me about five minutes later, and I’m so desperate to end this total disaster of a night, I barely look up before testing him.

A quick glance at the man’s face shows his truth, and I force myself through some awkward conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, I peek over at Ethan to see him looking like he’s ready to explode. His hand is clenching his beer so tightly I’m surprised it hasn’t shattered.I need to finish this now.

Sliding down from my chair, I whisper in my new companion’s ear, asking if he wants to go outside. He agrees quickly and grabs my hand, leading me towards the exit. I’m looking down at the floor as I walk, so I don’t notice Ethan’s approach until he’s right next to me. His hand comes down on my arm and clasps it firmly, jerking me to a stop. The other man stops and frowns. “Hey, what are you doing? She’s with me.”

Ethan’s voice is a growl. “No, she’s withme.” He looks at me and says, “Just because we have a fight doesn’t mean you should go off with other men. If you come home, we can work this out.”

I’m momentarily struck dumb with surprise, but as I watch Ethan glare at this other guy, I know things won’t end well if we don’t leave right away. I tug my hand free from my potential blood donor’s hand and move towards Ethan. “OK, you’re right. I shouldn’t have rushed off. Let’s go back to your place.” I have a flash of inspiration. “But I expect an explanation for that lipstick on your shirt.”

“Done. Nowlet’s go.” Ethan puts an arm around my waist and maneuvers me through the crowd and out to the sidewalk. We walk in silence for half a block before I dig my heels in and force him to a stop. Pinning his eyes with mine, I ask, “What was that all about?”

ETHAN

I lost it there. Totally lost it. I thought I could keep it together, but I ended up storming over like a raging bull and probably pissed off Norah.

All day I had convinced myself that I’d be fine. ItrustNorah. I know she’s not going to bars looking to hook up. But as soon as I saw the first guy talk to her, my rationality vanished. He was bad news, I could tell.

From Norah’s reaction, she knew it, too. It wouldn’t be obvious to anyone who didn’t know her, but she looked scared. Something she saw when she talked to him put her on edge. I need to ask her to explain this lie detecting thing to me better, but now isn’t the time.

I almost went over right then, and if the guy hadn’t moved away, I would have pulled Norah out of the bar without hesitation. I kept it together until she went to leave with the blond guy, and he took her hand. My head was about to explode, and I moved before my brain even knew what was happening. I’m still fired up, angry, not at Norah, but at the situation. But now I need to calm down, to explain myself to her, as she stands in front of me glaring.

“Norah, baby, I’m sorry… I just… fuck!”Nice explanation.“It was way harder to watch than I ever imagined. Watching those guys coming on to you… shit.” I take a few breaths to compose myself while Norah watches with wide eyes. “Can we head home and talk? Not on the sidewalk with people all around? Please?” She bites her lip, then nods and lets me take her hand as we walk towards my apartment.

Norah allowed me to hold her hand the entire walk, but once we’re inside, she pulls away to sit on the couch. I follow her over and perch on the arm, wanting to touch her but holding back. My jealous rage has cooled from a boil to a simmer, and I don’t want to talk until I’m calm again.

“So, what happened back there?” Her expression is a mix of puzzlement and frustration.

I take a deep breath. “Norah… I’ve never been a jealous person. I’ve always thought that if I trust someone, there’s no need to be jealous.” I look down at my hands, disappointed at myself.

“Are you saying you don’ttrustme?”

“No!” I jerk my head up and look at Norah, seeing disappointment in her eyes. “Notat all. I trust youcompletely. This was all about me. I don’t understand what happened, only that I saw those guys near you and everything in my body was telling me to stop them. Not because I thought you would do anything wrong, but because I couldn’t stand to see any other man trying to get close to you. I know it’s irrational and impulsive. I messed up your chance to feed, and I’m sorry.”

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