Page 17 of Norah

“Almost done.”

She sidles up next to me and kisses my neck. I take the arm that’s not busy whisking eggs and tuck her into my side.So perfect.Norah fits there as perfectly as a matching puzzle piece. As I inhale her soft scent and feel her heat next to mine, something inside me just clicks.I love her.The feeling has been floating around for weeks, but not yet verbalized. But now the words are solid. I love Norah with such intensity it sucks my breath away.

“Hey.” She nudges me. “You just went stiff. Is something wrong?”

I can’t tell her I just had a life-changing revelation. It’s too soon.

But somehow my heart orders my mouth to speak before my brain does. “I love you.”

Her lips part in surprise, and I curse myself for saying it too soon. “You do?”

Well, I’m all in now. I’m not taking it back, not when it’s how I feel. “Yes, I think I’ve known it for a while now, but today it hit me for real. I love you. I love you, but it’s OK if you don’t feel that way yet, I can wait.”

Norah brings her fingers to her mouth, lips trembling. “Ethan…”

I brace myself for disappointment. “It’s OK…”

“Stop saying it’s OK if I don’t love you.” She moves her fingers from her mouth to mine. “Idolove you. I think I’ve loved you from the minute I saw you. As much as I’ve tried to deny it, I won’t any more. I’m so glad you said it first because I would have been waiting out of fear, but now that I’m saying it out loud, I’m so glad.”

Thank you, God. I turn off the stove and pull Norah into my arms, then capture her mouth with a kiss that I hope shows how much I feel for her.

All My Fault

NORAH

I can’t believe it. Ethan and I are in love.

Lying in bed with Ethan sleeping beside me, I replay his proclamation again and again.Ethan loves me. It hardly seems possible, yet here I am, cuddled up next to the man that I love.And he loves me back.

It’s more than I could have imagined during all those dark nights alone. I thought I didn’t deserve to be loved, but Ethan cracked open my hard shell and worked his way completely inside my heart. The dark little voice still tries to be heard, but thoughts of Ethan give me the strength to ignore it.

Feeling more at peace than I think I ever have before, I finally allow my mind to quiet, and I sleep.

Then my peace is broken by a familiar monster.

Not the nightmare again!

No! Please stop!

I’m locked in a small room with no windows. Everything inside is gray and peeling and stained. The single ceiling light flickers, casting ominous shadows. I hear a moaning sound, but I can’t quite figure out where it’s coming from. Everything aches and throbs, forcing me into awareness. As the mental fog lifts, I realize that I’m the one moaning.

With each blink of my eyes, another reality solidifies. Tucked in a corner beside a rusted cot, I’m hunched over, rocking. Little moans and whimpers are escaping me unbidden. I look down to see myself soaked in blood.

Please, no! Please let me wake up!

My eyes dart around the shadowed room, picking out features. One barred window, bare floor wet with something dark, heavy metal door, large body crumpled on the ground. A body! I stumble towards the form, mind shrieking in terror. After a few steps I fall to my knees, seeing a man lying in a pool of blood.No!

He’s dressed in little more than rags, and is so pale I think he’s already dead. But I feel the slightest of beats when I place my shaking fingers on his neck. It’s a sluggish, skipping beat that I sense is close to stopping. What should I do? I rip off my shirt and press it to the oozing wound in his neck, but it’s not enough. The man is fading fast and I don’t know how to help.

I rush over to the door and beat against it, shouting.Help me, help him, I need to help him, please! Please!My fists hit the door so hard they make small dents. I’m crying, gasping, shaking, as I beg whoever is on the other side to please help.

A small wheezing gasp comes from the man, and I dash back to him. Leaning over him, grasping his arms, I beg him to stay alive. But he’s unconscious, slipping away, and my words accomplish nothing.

Back at the door, I resume yelling, my voice cracking with hysteria.Please help, I beg.I don’t know how to save him. A voice echoes into the room, and I jump in shock.

The voice responds flatly.You can’t.

Please!I beg, sobbing.

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