Page 80 of Brighter Than Gold

She kept me warm in her mouth until my spasms had ended, and then pulled off of me gently. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she looked at me, dazed and content.

“I think I won again,” she said.

Chapter18

Reyah

We fucked that night at the inn, and again in the morning. The next day while we traveled, we raced off into the woods and Callan held me tight against a tree as we fucked there too. Twice.

Sometimes it was soft and gentle, other times it was fast and desperate. I couldn’t get enough of him, my body begged for more. I wanted it, Ineededit, nothing could slake the lust. Watching him unsaddle the horses or change for bed; the most mundane things made my blood heat. Last night I watched, utterly captivated by how his tongue would dart out over his lips after he’d taken a sip of wine. Today, it was how he rested a gloved hand high up on his thigh as he rode.

Callan was perfectly reserved when other people were around. There was no fondling or stolen kisses. The only time he touched me was a gentle hand at my lower back to guide me. But the pretenses dropped the instant we were alone, and he’d paw and grab and stroke. And I would pretend to push him away, if only for a minute, before we were crashing into the bed, breathing each other in like we depended on the other to survive. I had memorized every inch of him, I knew each freckle, each wayward curl. The dark trail of hair leading from his belly button downward was a path I navigated at every opportunity. I knew what each moan, each sigh and each gasp meant coming from his lips. And he knew my body with the same, perfect intimacy.

Sleeping in Callan’s arms each night was bliss. We were made for each other, folding together so precisely and with such tranquility that it didn’t matter what ruddy lumpy bed we were laying in, I slept more soundly than I ever had.

At first I was afraid to be open and vulnerable with him, to admit to both he and myself that this was not simply a tryst. The prospect of being in love with someone who was not my husband was terrifying, but the way he made me feel safe and cherished, those nerves melted, and suddenly the ability to be so open and free with someone felt so right.

It made me realize in stark contrast how what I felt for Kaspian was not a fledgling kind of love, it was simply thehopefor love. The hope that one day I would wake up and feel something more for him, something…exactly like this. Exactly the way I felt for Callan.

The roots this man had planted had already taken hold of my heart, I didn’t have tohopeortry, this wasn’t forced. Loving him was as natural as breathing. Gods, that was a thing, wasn’t it? I had fallen completely and utterly in love with this man in only a number of days.

It was dusk on the third day as we rode, and Arronbach came into view over the horizon. My heart sunk in my chest as the spires of the palace towers appeared through the clouds.

“Reyah, you— what’s wrong?” Callan had ridden up beside me, my cloak over the horn of his saddle. I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“I’m fine,” I lied miserably.

He sighed. “Come. Come here.”

Callan reached over and tugged the reigns from my hands and pulled our horses off the road. He helped me dismount and took my hand in his, interlacing our fingers and leading us to a tree stump jutting out of the ground. He sat, pulling me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tightly into his chest.

“I know this feels like the end, Reyah, but I promise you it’s not.”

“How can you think that? Once we’re back there you’re general Briggs and I’m Her Royal Highness Princess Burke. We’re different people once we go back.” I searched his face, willing him to understand how much this was going to hurt me.

“I’m—I’m sorry I ever made this about me. I should never have—”

I took his face in my hands to shut him up. “I’m not sorry, Callan. I’ll never be sorry. I love you.”

The look Callan gave me was something I would treasure the rest of my life. It was gratefulness, and worship, and adoration all mixed into one. I saw the hint of tears in his eyes before he leaned his lips into mine.

We kissed and we laughed, and we sobbed, knowing this was going to be the hardest thing we would have to face, being apart, ignoring each other when we were together. With no promise of that ever changing.

“You are bone-deep inside of me, Reyah, and neither time nor distance can change that.” His chin shuddered and I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against his. It was one thing to feel this all-encompassing love for Callan, but it was almost as sweet tobeloved by him.

“If all I get is knowing that you’re safe in that tower, then that is enough for me.”

I shook my head, fighting against more tears. “It willneverbe enough for me.” Devastation welled in my chest, and it ached. It was a real physical pain that was growing inside of me, like an ugly black mold. “It will never be enough until I can have you in my arms every day.”

His lips pulled into a pitiable half smile as his thumb stroked the tear dampening my cheek. “I don’t think that will be our story, Princess.” His throat bobbed as he said it.

I took a deep breath and willed my grief to subside. “Thank you for saving me.”

Callan’s brow’s knit and I could see him struggling to find the right words. He simply nodded.

“We have to go,” he said finally.

I stood from where we sat and felt as though I was leaving my heart there, on a snowy log just outside of the city.

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