Page 36 of Brighter Than Gold

“That’s ridiculous. You did everything you could to make sure I was safe. And it nearly killed you.”

“But you’renotsafe,” he whispered, holding my hand even tighter.

“I am. I’m safe when I’m with you.” I stroked his hair back from his face to comfort him; a man who would risk his life and then apologise for not doing more. What kind of twisted loyalty drove him to the brink like this, I wondered.

Callan exhaled deep, agonizing breaths as he lay on my lap. “Areyouall right?”

“I fell from my horse. I think I hit my head, there are parts I don’t remember.”

Callan forced himself up. “Does your head hurt? Are you tired?”

I nodded.

“Are you nauseous?”

I nodded again.

“Fuck, you have a concussion.”

The sight of him, bloodied and beaten and somehow concerned overmemade me bark a laugh. “I thinkyoumight have a concussion too,” I chided.

“Reyah.” His voice was deep and full of concern. “A fall like that, when you’re pregnant…”

Fear prickled my cheeks. I hadn’t thought of that. Without a shred of modesty, I felt up my dress, up between my legs.

My throat caught. I was wet.

I pulled my hand out and froze. I was covered in blood.

Both Callan and I could only stare at my blood-soaked hand, and its detrimental implications.

Suddenly the sick feeling in my stomach had nothing to do with the fall from the horse. I leaned over and wretched onto the floor. My ears began to ring as fear and guilt and devastation crept through me, churning and mixing like a swamp inside my stomach.

Callan lifted himself up and took me in his arms. I dissolved into him, concentrating only on breathing as my body had seemingly lost the ability to do even that. All of this…everything leading up to this point was because I’d fallen pregnant. What would happen now?

“It’s not for certain,” Callan whispered. “It’s not for certain until you see a doctor, Reyah.”

I heard his words, but couldn’t comprehend them. All I could concentrate on was that tiny being, that living thing inside of me slipping out between my legs. The thing I had cared most about and felt some natural urge to protect with my life, no longer a part of me.

I felt an ugly, looming shadow over me now. I knew when the shock wore off it would be devastating…soul crushing, and I could kill each and every one of those men in the other room without a second thought for causing this. But part of my mind fought to keep me in that numb state of disbelief, where hurt and pain couldn’t yet register.

“Reyah, look at me,” Callan insisted, holding my head in his hands. “Can you hear me?”

I nodded with a glassy stare.

“It’s not over until a doctor says it’s over. Do you understand me?”

I looked right into his dark eyes as I tumbled fast down a deep, deep hole of despair.

“Don’t go there. Not yet. Not until we know for certain.”

My lips parted as I took short raspy breaths, and I nodded again.

“Good. That’s good, Reyah.”

“I hear voices—” The door burst open and Lazio stepped in. He was silenced by my skirt that was still hiked up, and my bloodied fingers. Lazio knew.

“Fuck. Well you shouldn’t have—”

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