Page 108 of Brighter Than Gold

I’m sure she noted every half second I didn’t immediately say yes. The mere thought of Kaspian right now had the backs of my eyes prickling with tears.

“Oh Gods, Reyah, I meant to make you feelbetter.” She came to sit next to me as I tried in vain to control the misery that was settling over me.

“I know. And Ishouldbe happy, shouldn’t I? Look where I’m sitting.”

“Look at me, Reyah.” I lifted my eyes to her heart-shaped face. “No one thinks what you’re doing is easy. You’re up on a pedestal now and it can be isolating up there If it’s not the King that brings you joy, then find what does, and nurture it. If your marriage to him isn’t the incredible fairy tale that it seems, promise me you’ll make it a priority to create your own happiness.. You owe it to yourself. And to your baby.”

I laughed through a barrage of salty tears. “You’re too young to be so wise, Briar.”

She cracked a smile. “That’s exactly something my mother would say.”

“I feel… homesick, somehow. But I’m not sure where else I’d want to be. I haven’t felt truly at home anywhere since I left the North. And I could never go back there now.”

“Home isn’t always a place. It’s more of a feeling, isn’t it? Like that weightlessness you feel when you’ve come back from the market and finally get to put all the heavy bags down.”

I liked that analogy. “I think I’ve been carrying the imaginary bags around for too long.”

“When was the last time you could put them down?” she asked, swiping away a tear on my cheek.

I knew, immediately. It was a knee-jerk reaction as my mind went right to Callan. Not only could I put the bags down with him, but he would also carry them for me if they got too heavy.

“Oh,” Briar said intuitively. “You already know where your home is.”

I nodded. “Yes. I think I do.” My face pinched with the tragedy of it, and Briar pulled me into her arms. I cried miserably into her shoulder for a few minutes, before heavy eyes and heavy limbs urged me to tuck myself away in bed.

Briar insisted on aiding me again, dutifully playing the part of both lady’s maid and confidant without missing a beat.

“I’m glad you’re back, Briar,” I said as my eyes drooped closed.

“I’m glad to be back, Princess.”

Chapter26

Callan

“General?”

A light rap sounded on the door and a young cadet timidly peered into my room.

“What’s wrong?” I rose immediately from the chair where I was reading. It was the middle of the night and nothing good happened at this hour.

“There’s…a girl asking for you.”

“What?” I snapped incredulously.

“A lady’s maid.”

“Well, what the fuck does she want?”

“She’s asking for you, sir. Personally.”

I don’t know why I was so angry about being bothered, it was the middle of the night, and I couldn’t sleep anyway. But I just wanted peace. A few hours to myself.

“Fine, bring me to her.”

The young solider nodded and led me out. There was a close quietness in the barracks at night. It was usually deafeningly loud with hundreds of young, boisterous men, but at night the silence was eerie.

The soldier led me to one of the offices near the entrance to the palace. I opened the door in a huff but smiled when I saw my visitor.

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