Page 27 of Secret Baby for Mr. Grump

And so what if just being in his presence sent my heart racing and my pulse pounding?

I was an adult, and I’d learned early on to handle my feelings. Marcus and I couldn’t date, no matter how much I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss yesterday.

I remembered it again, and as always, I wavered between embarrassment and desire for a repeat performance. After all these years, I still had a crush on Marcus.

But I couldn’t have him because I had my son to think about.

Regardless, it didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends.

After all, we’d been friends in the past despite my massive crush on him. I thought I’d done a good job of keeping it hidden—until the night I made a move on him, that is. I thought back to it with equal parts mortification and shock.

I usually wasn’t that bold, but I guessed the alcohol made me brave.

But the results had been…explosive, to say the least.

I shook my head, refusing to let my mind get drawn back there.

The first step to hiding or getting over my feelings for Marcus was to stop remembering moments like that. Instead, I needed to face the fact that it probably wouldn’t happen again.

Which depressed me to heck, but such was life.

There were plenty more things I had to be grateful for, like my great family, who was all healthy, and my son, who seemed much better this morning. Of course, it was too early to tell for the most part, but this morning, when I told him I would be going to work and he would spend some time with his aunt, he nodded.

“I won’t be back late, okay?” I assured him. “I’ll only be gone till maybe four at the latest. You remember how to count time, right?”

He nodded and held up his wrist, which had a watch wrapped around it. He seemed much calmer today, but I knew there was still some anxiety brimming under the surface, especially when he clutched me close as I hugged him.

My heart ached, and I felt sick to my stomach.

Something very bad had happened to my little boy, and I didn’t know what it was. Something made him lose his innocence, made him very scared. And I hadn’t protected him.

A part of me wanted to just break down and cry, but I couldn’t. I needed to be strong.

I’d spent last night after our therapist visit trying to ask him if anyone had hurt him, going through a list of names to see if he would show any physical reaction to them, but he remained silent, looking off at the wall as though he barely heard me. I wanted to get to the bottom of it, but I couldn’t do it if I didn’t even know what was going on. The thought hurt me.

When I dropped him off at Athena’s house, I asked her discreetly, “Hey, you don’t know anyone who’s come here while Caleb was over, right? You haven’t left him alone with anyone?”

“Of course not.” Athena frowned, seeming offended at the very thought. “You know I would never do something like that.”

I sighed, letting the suspicion fall away. “I know, Athena. I’m sorry. It’s just that Caleb’s therapist said something yesterday that made me worry.”

“What did she say?” Worry replaced the offense she initially expressed.

“She said that Caleb’s reaction was similar to that of children who’d been traumatized,” I told her, my voice stumbling on the last word. God, I didn’t even want to think about it, much less accept it. The whole idea of it made me feel ill again. “I’ve wracked my brain trying to think of anyone who could have hurt my son, but I’m drawing up blanks.”

“Well, traumatized doesn’t necessarily mean someone did something to him,” Athena said sympathetically. “It could have been something he saw or even heard that made him like that. You didn’t fight with Ken in front of him, did you?”

“No,” I said. Ken and I barely ever fought. In fact, we got along almost too well most of the time, being very similar types of people. It was the reason we both stuck in the marriage for so long, even way past the point when it was clear that the sexual attraction simply wasn’t there. We wanted to make it work out of sheer compatibility, and Ken loved Caleb like he was his son. Even now, they spoke every once in a while when Ken had the time to call, even though his job kept him relatively busy.

“Besides, whatever happened to him is recent,” I added. He’d never been like this when Ken and I lived together. He only became like this long after Ken went to Minessota to accept the government job.

Athena shook her head, sympathy in her expression. “I’m sorry then. I have no clue what’s going on, but I’ll keep an eye out and see if I can bribe him into telling me something. ”

“Thanks,” I responded. “But don’t push him too much. I don’t want to bring back any bad memories that might trigger him even more.”

“Roger,” Athena said, and after giving her a brief hug, I left for work.

I steeled myself before walking into the resort.

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