Page 61 of His Christmas Gift

“We never meant for you to feel like we didn’t trust you to take care of yourself,” my mother said stiffly as she looked away from me. “Your father and I wouldn’t be where we are today without each other. We wanted you to find that.”

“I can’t force that to happen. I was focused more on my job than finding a man,” I explained to her.

“Which I commend you for,” my mother replied. “You’ve always been a hard worker. We’ve always known that.”

I raised an eyebrow, feeling surprised that they actually noticed. So much of my hard work seemed to go unnoticed. If they had been paying more attention than I thought, I would be very surprised.

“I guess I’ve always felt like whatever I do isn’t good enough for you guys,” I admitted. They never seemed impressed, which was a low to my self-confidence every single time. Out of everyone in the world, I expected at least my parents would be proud of me.

“Everyone can do better, Autumn. It isn’t that we’re not proud. We just want you to do even better. We know that you can,” my mother told me before sitting on the edge of my bed, angling her body toward me.

“It’s hard to do that when it feels like you criticize me more than praise me,” I replied. Maybe I didn’t need their praise as much since I was an adult, but I needed it growing up.

“I suppose we thought our praise didn’t need to be spoken. We thought you knew,” my mother said, looking somewhat guilty. “We shouldn’t have assumed.”

I let out a sigh and nodded. At least she admitted to their hurtful behavior. She didn’t try to deny it, so that was a start for me. I just didn’t know what that start led to.

“I shouldn’t have lied about Dean, but I just wanted to feel a little less judged this Christmas,” I told her. It had slightly worked, but Christmas ended up being even worse than usual. I didn’t expect that.

“Judged? Oh, goodness,” my mother sighed, folding her hands in her lap. “I didn’t realize we made you so reluctant to join us for the holidays.”

“Would you want to go somewhere where you were constantly judged?” I asked her.

My mother shook her head after a moment.

“I suppose that I wouldn’t,” she said. “But it is a shame about Dean. Not that you aren’t in a relationship, but because you two seemed to be a good match.”

It seemed like everyone thought that. At a time, I thought that. With him, everything felt possible. Nothing seemed out of reach. Now, I felt so lost, so devoid of hope. The only thing that seemed possible was raising my child with love and support. I could do that.

“I… fell for him,” I sighed. “I didn’t mean to or even want to, but I did.”

My mother’s face softened.

“He’s a good man. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look at someone the way that you looked at him,” she told me. “I guess that’s why we were all so convinced.”

“Because I’ve never felt this way about anyone else,” I replied as I looked up at her. “But I don’t care about his money or success. I don’t need it to help me. In fact, we’re business partners now. What I love about him is him.”

My mother nodded her understanding.

“Then, that’s all that matters,” a voice said from my bedroom door.

I looked over and saw my father standing in the doorway. He looked upset, guilty. I didn’t realize that he had been listening.

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s gone,” I replied. I basically ended things when I ran out of that room. I regretted it now. I should’ve talked to him to see what he thought. Maybe now I wouldn’t ever know.

“Why do you say that?” my father asked.

“I doubt he wants a kid right now. He might not even want one with me,” I said, staring at my knees.

“Have you talked to him at all? Checked your phone?” my mother asked. “You can’t be sure of that without talking to him.”

I looked between my parents with a surprised look on my face. It shocked me that they cared enough to prompt me to do something. If something didn’t benefit them in some way, they didn’t get involved.

“I’m afraid of hearing what he has to say,” I murmured quietly. I didn’t want to hear him tell me that he didn’t want to be with me. I didn’t want to hear him tell me that he wasn’t ready for this baby and wouldn’t be around. Hearing those words would crush me.

My father moved to sit next to my mother.

“You have to do this, Autumn,” he said in a surprisingly gentle voice. “I know we treated you in a way that was too strict, too cold. We meant to motivate you, not to push you away.”

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