Page 45 of An Earl to Save the Diamond
“Then what is?”
“I cannot marry her.”
“Why not?”
“Because I cannot give her the life she deserves, Grandmother.”
The Dowager scoffed. “Ellen Bamber is from one of the most respectable families in Society. But more than that, she is extremely intelligent and has a good head on her shoulders.”
“I know that.”
“Then why do you hesitate so?”
“Because I cannot give her anything of value. I cannot offer her what she truly wants.”
“And what is that?”
“Children.”
“Is that what she has told you?” asked the Dowager.
“We have not spoken about it, but do all women not want to carry their own children someday?”
Lady Bath laughed. “What is it with men and trying to determine what a lady wants? You have not told the poor lass how you feel, but you already assume that you know what she wants in a marriage. And why do you not want children, Gerard?”
Gerard frowned. “You yourself know how I suffered as a child. I cannot put another child through that same fate.”
“That is foolish talk. You are no longer that little boy, are you?”
“Only because you took care of me and did not let me give up on myself.”
“So why are you giving up now?” Gerard was silent.
The Dowager continued, “You are so busy being consumed by all the things you think you cannot offer Ellen that you are forgetting all the things that you can.”
“What else do I have to offer?”
“Yourself, dear child. The gift of a man who loves a woman and is willing to go through Hell and high water to be with her. That is what any lady truly wants. You are too busy trying to protect Ellen, and you are forgetting to take care of your own needs.”
“My needs do not matter,” Gerard said plainly.
“Oh, you foolish child. I was also quite put off at the thought of falling for your Grandfather for some reason, but the faster I accepted it, the better it was for everyone involved.”
Gerard sighed. His grandmother made it seem all too easy.
“You are one of my greatest blessings, Gerard. I do not regret ever taking you to live with me. And I have watched with pride at the man you have become. A man who is thoughtful and kind and compassionate. A man who is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for others. That is the man I have raised you to be. But now is the time for you to love yourself,” the Dowager counseled.
“I shall think on what you have said, Grandmother. Thank you for your wise words,” Gerard said.
“Do not think too long. Ellen Bamber will not remain unwed for too long. Now, go wash the stink off you,” Lady Bath ordered and picked up her book to continue reading.
The boy has found love,she mused.Thank Heaven for that.
ChapterTwelve
“She never listens to me.”
“You are being too harsh on Mama, Ellen,” Andrew said. Ellen stood in a corner with her arms folded. Their mother was in the outer room, fuming.
