It seems wrong to even want to bring a baby into this. This is not yet a world that I’d wish upon anyone.
And after the life I’ve led, where violence and cruelty are my constant companions, what kind of father would I be?
My heart still refuses to listen to my reasoning as it swells with hope and love for the unborn babe.
Fine, I can allow myself to feel love for the child. For Rose, but no matter how badly I want the child to be of my own blood, I can’t wish that upon either of them.
No.
It would be better, for everyone, if the child is Heath’s or Peirce’s. Hell, even having the Grey Prince for a father would be better option than me, as much as it disgusts me to admit it.
My mind is suddenly filled with the image of Rose as she’d started at me, her eyes full of a hopeful expectation that I’m not even sure she was aware of when she asked.
It had almost been too much to bear. Like every dream I’ve clung to my whole life finally coming true all at once.
Only, I know that’s all it is.
A dream.
Once she knows what I’ve done, that’s all it’ll ever be.
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to come to terms with the fact that my time with Rose is drawing to an end. Gritting my teeth, I harden my heart as I push away all these foolish thoughts of love and hope.
“Your time is up.”
Glancing up, I find Heath walking toward me. Without a word, I nod and make my way through the castle halls. In a way, leaving her to Heath is a relief.
I know only torture awaits me in the coming hours, but at least that I’m far more deserving of.
It doesn’t matter who fathered the child. Whether or not it’s mine by blood, I will not let anything bad happen to Rose or the babe.
If nothing else, I will do everything in my power to make the world a better place for them. Even if it means sacrificing myself and everything I’ve ever dreamed of in the process.
To protect Rose and give her and the child hope for a future … I would gladly give my life.
As I walk, I’m suddenly reminded of my promise to Rose about the woman from earlier.
Lyra, I believe.
Gladly taking the opportunity to serve her, and take my mind off my own thoughts, I lift my nose to the air. It takes me a few minutes to pinpoint her scent, but as soon as I find it … it’s impossible to mistake.
It’s a mixture of envy, disgust, desperation … and lust, barely hidden beneath the subtle perfume of honeysuckle.
Rose was right to distrust her, and this only confirms it. I hadn’t wanted to tell her the way Lyra’s expression had changed the moment her back was to Rose. The way her smile dropped and her face transformed into something almost hateful.
Just like most who are consumed with themselves, she hadn’t noticed me standing within the shadows as she let her act drop. Now, I just need to find out why or for whom she’s acting.
It doesn’t take me long to discover the strange trail the girl’s left throughout the castle. It’s almost as if she’s been pacing the halls for hours, watching and waiting.
It would make sense, though, if she’s actually up to something ... or waiting for someone.
Was she waiting for someone?
Pausing, I close my eyes to scent the air once again. I try to push my suspicions aside, not wanting to put my own imaginings before fact.
After all, what do I really know about the doings of a human woman?
Though, as I follow her scent through the halls leading deeper into the castle, it grows harder and harder not to imagine the worst. Especially when her mate’s scent is nowhere to be found.