Page 69 of Reckless Liar

He smiled at me, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “No. I’m trying to be enough for you.”

Thatnight,asXanderfell asleep next to me, I turned to look at him in the low light of the hallway. His mouth was slightly open, his hair was in desperate need of a trim, the erratic curls falling across the pillow. His words echoed through me.

However you think relationships work… that will not be us…

I thought about how his eyes lit up as I came into the room, and the way his light blue shirt contrasted so well with his blond hair. He held my arms as if he was trying to anchor me to him—to that moment. My heart ached at the hurt that cracked across his face as I nearly said Max’s name.

I’m trying to be enough for you...

I flung back the covers of the bed, scrambling for something to wear. I found Xander’s discarded shirt on the floor and pulled it over my head. The shirt smelled of him, a unique mix of fresh earth, soap, and clean air. I glanced back at Xander sleeping in the bed. Seeing him now, it was bewildering to think I never noticed how beautiful he really was. The way his hair curled over his forehead, his full lips, the scars, and rough edges only served to add to his appeal. I had never in my life touched something so inherently good, so pure. He only wanted to take care of me and to love me. If I were any other girl, if I weren’t so fractured deep inside, what he offered would be a dream come true. I couldn’t help how broken I was. I wanted to think Xander’s love for me could transcend every wrong, but I knew it was only wishful thinking. I laid a hand on his cheek. It was so selfish for me to want him the way I did. He stirred in his sleep, and I pulled away, not wanting to wake him.

I padded to the living room and settled on the couch. I could hear the highway noises, the high-speed cars, and the hiss of the rain against tires. I tucked my legs up and settled my chin down on my knees. It wasn’t long after Xander left to get the takeout that I realized he meant to take me out on a date—a real date in public. He might’ve reached for my hand across the table. He might’ve put his arms around me in the waiting area. Someone could’ve seen us; word could’ve gotten out about what we were doing. I still wasn’t sure I was ready to go public with whatever was between us. I hadn’t even told Scarlett.

I knew we couldn’t keep on with this behind closed doors. He wanted more. He wanted something public. As much as I wanted to be with him, I had a hard reconciling how I felt for him and the impression it would give people. What would everyone think of me? How callous would I be, giving myself to Max’s best friend in this way?

That wasn’t even touching on how he’d feel if I told him about how Max died. If he knew all the things I left out of the story, I doubted he’d want me.

A loud pounding on the door, ripped me from my stupor. I huffed over to the door, flinging it open to see a wobbling Eloise standing on my doorstep. She leaned against the door frame and gave me a sloppy smile.

“Hey, sister,” she slurred.

“Eloise?” I stepped back as she stumbled through the doorway, bumping into me. “What... Why... huh?”

“I know, right?” She laughed for a moment before narrowing her eyes at me. “Are you wearing Xander’s shirt?”

I looked down at my chest, realizing that not only was the shirt obviously too large for me, but hadEberhardt Landscaping and Gardeningprinted across the left breast. I blanched, darting my eyes back up to Eloise’s confused face.

I scrambled for words. “Oh, yeah, I guess...”

“Hey, is someone here?” Xander called from down the hallway, his voice soft with sleep. I couldn’t take my eyes away from Eloise as the sounds of Xander coming down the hall got louder. He rounded the corner and stopped short at the sight of me and Eloise. He blinked several times, before his eyes widened. “Oh, shit. Hi Wheezy.”

“Uh, Xan.” I pointed at his bare chest. Since I was wearing his shirt, he was only in his boxers. I could feel Eloise tensing next to me.

Xander looked down to blush at his near nakedness. “Right.” He turned away to retreat into his room.

Eloise turned to me with her mouth open. “Whoa.” Her eyebrows raised she shook her head. “I can’t believe...”

I tried to think of the best excuse I could use to explain what she was seeing; I didn’t want to hurt her. While there’d been a seismic shift in my relationship with Xander, I still wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about it, especially not Max’s younger sister.

Eloise laughed. “Dude, Xander got hot. When did that happen?”

I let out a strangled laugh, feigning nonchalance. “Yeah, I don’t know.” I hoped my answer was cryptic enough not to get any more questions.

Xander came back wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants, his hair sticking up worse than before. I could tell he was nervously running his hands through his blond curls. He avoided my eyes, knowing that if we looked at each other, what we’d been doing would be plain on our faces. He cleared his throat as he sat down on the couch, throwing an arm over the back. “So, what are you doing at two a.m. to show up on our doorstep?”

“I got in a fight with Dana. My friends and I were at a party, but it got broken up. I couldn’t go home so I asked my friends to drop me here.” She explained as she collapsed on the couch. Her eyes drooped shut and she wrinkled her face.

“The person who drove you here wasn’t drinking, right?” I asked, biting my lip.

She glanced at me then quickly away. “No, of course not. Geez, lighten up, Ana.”

“It’s a valid question, Eloise. You know we worry about you,” Xander backed me up.

With her eyes closed she flapped a limp wrist at me. “You’re being ridiculous. If I wanted a fight, I would’ve gone home. At least at home, Dana doesn’t guilt trip me for having a little fun.”

“Eloise...” I hesitated.

Somehow, Eloise looked like she was drunker than when she arrived. She opened one eye to glare at us. “I have a better question for you two. Why did you come out of Ana’s bedroom and not your own, Xander?”

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