Page 23 of Reckless Liar

Xander sat down next to me, his long legs folding into a crouch. “You never should have seen those.”

I thought about his words. He wasn’t surprised by the evidence, or that Max cheated on me. He had no innocent explanation. No. All he offered me was—I never should’ve seen them.

“Did you know, Xander?” I whispered. He cleared his throat, looking away. I pulled back, looking up at him. “Did you know about this, Xander? Please tell me that the one friend I should’ve been able to trust didn’t keep this from me.”

“I wasn’t sure.”

“What do you mean you weren’t sure?” I hissed.

“I suspected a few times. But he never admitted to it. I wasn’t sure how to call him out. He was my best friend, Ana.”

“But you were sure enough to suspect?” I asked.

He avoided my eyes, an afflicted grimace on his face. “I found out about one. She works at the hotel with Dana. I caught them together when I was doing some work in Manzanita.”

“When was this?” I asked.

“After Christmas, a few days before...”

“But you never told me?”

Xander shook his head, avoiding my eyes. His voice got louder. “I told him he needed to tell you, or I would. I said he needed to end it with that girl if he wanted to keep you. He didn’t deserve you. That...” he trailed off, looking at the letters scattered on the floor. “I mean, it doesn’t matter anymore. He died before you found out. What am I supposed to say? Huh?Hey sorry, but your boyfriend, my best friend, was cheating on you.He made a fool of you,“ his voice softened. “He made us all look like fools.”

“You should’ve told me. I should’ve known. If I’d known...”

Xander leaned back on his heels. “What? You would’ve left him? Would’ve made him leave? You took him back after he did it in high school.” His words were harsh, but his tone soft.

I took the letters from Xander and sunk down onto the edge of my bed, staring at the words swimming on the paper. I tried to make sense of what I was reading. I needed to figure out how to connect the man I once knew with this man, the man who could say he loved me and then be with another girl—this man who told me I was the only one he loved and then gave himself to someone else.

Xander sat next to me, too far for me to lean on. But he put his hand in between us in case I needed to hold it.

“I trusted him. I wanted to trust him so much. I wanted it to be good.” Not bothering to wipe my tears off my face, I knew Xander had seen me like this. He’d seen my worst.

“I know you did,” Xander replied. He looked down at his empty lap.

“Why wasn’t I enough? Why was what we had not enough? What is about me that made him need someone else? He was enough for me—he was everything to me.” My sobs choked my chest and my shoulders heaved violently as I cried.

I felt Xander’s arm snake around my shoulder as he pulled me closer to him. I shook against his side, wetting his bare chest with my tears.

“You are enough, goddamn it! Ana, you are so much more than enough.” He pulled me away from him, looking me straight in the eye. “Ana, I swear to God. What Max did, it was never your fault. No matter what happened, it was him. It was always him.”

“But if I’d just—“

“No!” Xander interrupted. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you take this on too. I will not let you try to take responsibility for Max’s cheating. For what he did to you. For what he did to me, to himself. Some days…” Xander shook his head, his jaw tight. “Some days I wish I could punch him again for what he did to us.”

“Again?” I sniffled. “When did you punch him?”

“When I found him with that girl. I warned him. He knew the consequences. But he couldn’t help himself. He wanted everything. He always did. I warned him, and then I punched him.”

I wracked my mind trying to place when this would’ve happened. “Wait, were you the one who punched him when he had that bruise on his cheek?”

He hesitated, “Yeah. I was.”

“He told me he hit his face when he fell down...”

Xander leaned forward, lacing his hands in his lap. “No, it was me. I punched him. When I found them together, I told him I was going to tell you about it. He said some stuff, I said some stuff...”

“What kind of stuff?” I asked, putting my hand on his arm. He looked over at me, his stricken gaze boring into me.

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