Page 10 of Cabin Kisses

“Where’s your Christmas tree?” she asks me, looking around the room.

“I didn’t put it up. It’s only me here, and I just haven’t felt the Christmas spirit, I guess.”

She nods. “I understand. I didn’t put one up this year either.”

I hate to bring it up, but I need answers. “So that was Richard. How’d he know you were here?”

She shakes her head and leans it back on my arm. “It’s not like that. He didn’t follow me here or anything. This was supposed to be our honeymoon. I tried to cancel, but it was nonrefundable. So here I am. I guess—” Her voice drops. “I guess he wanted to bring his girlfriend here.”

“Asshole,” I mutter. She doesn’t say anything, and I tilt her chin up to look at me. “You know that, right? You know he’s an asshole?”

She shrugs, and I turn my body to face her fully, head-on. “He’s an asshole, Gina. He doesn’t deserve you, and you’re better off without him.”

I search her face, hoping for her to agree with me.

She nods her head. “I know he’s an asshole. I know that, but well, there’s things... it wasn’t all him, Levi.”

I shrug my shoulders. “What does that even mean?”

She blows out a breath. She doesn’t want to answer me, but I know this moment is important. As if what she’s about to say is going to make me understand more about her and why she is the way she is. Maybe help me put together the fact that she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen but doesn’t know it or seem to believe it.

Her eyes widen as she stares back at me and bites her lip. Something I’ve noticed her doing when she’s unsure of herself. I trace my thumb along her lip soothingly. “Talk to me,” I demand.

She’s looking over my shoulder, her gaze trained on something on the wall. I want her eyes on me, but if this means she’s going to be able to talk to me then I’m willing to let it slide for now. She opens her mouth, closes it, and opens it again. She starts to ramble. “I’m frigid,” she says, shaking her head, and then clenches her eyes shut. “And not just like I can’t perform, but I don’t want to. I never wanted to with him.” She shakes her head as if remembering something, and her eyes pop open. She’s looking at me, her face flushed, embarrassment lighting up her cheeks. “See, it wasn’t just his fault that he cheated on me. I mean, I know it was shitty of him, but I can’t really blame him. I never... did it for him.”

I grab both her forearms and pull her closer to me. I don’t know if I make the move for her or for me. I’m afraid she’s going to bolt any minute, and I don’t want her to. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You think you’re frigid.” She nods, and I ask her, “Tell me, why do you think that?”

She shrugs and starts looking at the damn wall again. “I have zero desire. None. And when we did, well you know, it was just painful. I just didn’t like it. I’ve never had an orgasm. He would get mad. I would feel bad. It’s just... not good.”

I stare at her, searching her face. I hear what she’s saying, and she’s saying it with such conviction I know she believes it. But I know she’s wrong. I could sit here and try to explain it to her, but she’s not going to believe me. No, I’m going to have to convince her.

“Can I kiss you?” I ask her.

She gasps, and her eyes snap to mine. “You want to kiss me... after all that, you want to kiss me?”

I nod. I keep a hold of her one arm, and my other hand trails up her arm, across her shoulder, and I wrap it around the base of her neck. “Can I kiss you?” I ask her again.

I know I told myself I’d wait, but I don’t want to put this off. She has this crazy notion in her head, and I know she’s wrong. She looks at my mouth, licks her lips, and then shrugs softly.

I smirk and shake my head. “That’s not how this works, honey. I need to hear you say it. Tell me you want me to kiss you.”

Her eyes darken, and sadness is plainly written on her face. “I don’t know if I want you to kiss me, Levi. If I let you kiss me, you’re just going to have physical proof of what I’m telling you.” She blinks as if she’s surprised by the confession. “And I hate you seeing me like that. Like I’m less than a woman.”

My hands automatically tighten on her, and I have to force myself to loosen my hold. “I’d never see you like that.”

She shrugs, disbelief plainly written on her face.

I lean in close. It would be so easy to move just a small inch closer and our lips would be touching. But I don’t do it. No, I need to hear her say it. I need to hear her ask me for it.

“Ask me.”

She blinks and then stares into my face. “Fine. Will you kiss me, Levi?”

I make myself wait to hear the whole sentence, but as soon as it’s out, I’m on her. She thinks she’s frigid, but I want to prove her wrong. I need to.

Our lips mesh, but she doesn’t move. She’s tense against me, and I know she’s scared. I pull back. “It’s okay. Relax. I’m just going to kiss you. I won’t push you for more.”

My thoughts from earlier are etched on my brain. I know she’s vulnerable, and I don’t need to push her, but I need her to doubt her ridiculous thoughts that she’s frigid. Just by the looks she gives me, I know she’s not.

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