Page 50 of Rocked: The Price of Dreams

“I orgasmed twice.” Hunter licked crumbs from his fingertips. “But I’m a legend.”

“You’ve had sex once.” Kyle grabbed his second Pop-Tart off the plate in the center of the table. “Don’t get full of yourself.”

“Like you’re an expert.” Hunter threw a crust at Kyle. “You’ve only been with Laura for a month.”

“She’s nice. But we have absolutely nothing in common.”

Grimacing, Hunter jerked his chin back. “So why are you still with her?”

Kyle shrugged. “Sex.”

“Dude.” Hunter ruffled his fingers through his wavy hair. “After tonight, can’t you see we don’t need to be tied down? College girls are way hotter and easier.”

“I gathered that.” Kylie grinned, leaning back in his chair. “I had to fight them off while you guys banged upstairs.” But then he lowered his chin and stared at his Pop-Tart. His voice softened with an underlying current of heartache. “But I like having a girlfriend.”

I placed my hand on Kyle’s knee and gave it rub. Deep down, Kyle longed for love and happiness and a family without the abuse he’d endured. He believed in happily ever afters.

I didn’t.

Kyle glanced at Hunter. Concern loomed in his eyes. “Don’t you want a girlfriend? One day?”

“Nope.” Hunter’s high nosedived, plummeting to the ground. He sucked in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. The truth he hid from everyone except Kyle and me wrapped around my bones. “That could lead to love. And rejection. And heartache. And God forbid, she might want a family one day. You know I can’t ever have that.”

My heart sank into my stomach. He loved his sister, thought the world of her, but he was terrified he might have a child with autism too. I understood his concerns and fears. But he had a heart of gold and so much love to give, he’d make a great dad someday. I clutched his hand across the table. “You can if you want. One day.”

He squeezed my fingers, then tugged his hand free. “No. The risk is too high. I don’t want kids anyway. Not ever.” His rare frown morphed into a gorgeous smile. He straightened and pointed at us. “We’re gonna be fucking stars. We’ll be playing and traveling and touring. I don’t ever want to be tied down. There are too many girls out there to have fun with.”

“I’m with you.” I high-fived Hunter.

Kyle chuckled and shook his head. “Gem, don’t you want to see Ewan again?”

“Maybe. But I don’t want it to get serious.”

“What if he’s the one?” he challenged.

I lowered my chin. My heart lurched and ached. “I don’t believe love like that exists.” God, I wish it did. “Look at our fucked-up families. Your mom shouldn’t be with your dad; she lives in fear every day. Hunter’s parents barely acknowledge his existence and live totally separate lives. My mom doesn’t respect the institution of marriage at all, cheating and screwing around and hurting the people around her. Why, based on our experiences, would I ever want a relationship?”

He leaned forward. His gaze locked onto mine, stealing my breath. My pulse strummed too fast. Had the beer I drank hours ago suddenly hit me? Was the high from being laid still coursing through my body? Somedays, our profound friendship blew my mind. It was hard to comprehend how much we cared about each other.

Kyle lowered and softened his voice. “I think there is someone out there for everyone. One day, you’ll find a guy who makes you feel like magic, like you can’t bear to breathe without him, and your lives will be better together rather than apart. He will fill your heart with passion and love you unconditionally, and the sex will blow your mind. That’s the love I want. I want to find my true soul mate.”

Shivers spiraled across my skin. I loved his intensity, his outlook on life, his hopes and dreams. I just didn’t believe love like that existed. But I’d found the closest thing to soul mates in these two guys. The sex part I could get elsewhere.

Hunter burst out laughing. “That’s way too fucking deep for this hour of the morning. We have music and each other. We don’t need anything else.”

“I’m with you.” I dragged my gaze away from Kyle, breaking our crazy connection. We did share magic—just not the kind he craved.

That kind of love wasn’t on my playlist.

“Yeah. Me too.” Kyle picked crumbs off his plate with his fingertips. “Just like keeping it real and you guys grounded.”

I play-punched his arm. “We need to channel more of that emotional crap into our songs. Girls will eat that shit up.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You think?”

“I know so.” Hell, my guarded heart had warped with his words. Thank God, I wasn’t a fool who’d fall for that nonsense. “Love—wanting it, finding it, feeling it and losing it—is the central theme to most songs. I’ve never been in love, don’t ever want to be, but I love you guys, so we can just draw on that and write more kickass music.”

“Oh yeah. Let’s do that.” Hunter chewed and swallowed the last mouthful of his Pop-Tart. “It might help me get laid more often.”

---