Page 65 of Lost in You

Cole lets me cry. He doesn’t tell me everything will be okay or that he’ll fix it. He can’t. He’s not going to sugarcoat anything for me. He’s realistic and right now I hate him for it. I need him to tell me that he’ll track down Ryan and bring him to me, that he’ll make sure Ryan forgives me for being a self-centered bitch, but he doesn’t. He holds me, keeping my arms locked so I don’t do any more damage.

I try to calm down, matching my breathing with his. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but thinking about his chest moving up and down against my back brings things into perspective.

“You have to go on in a few minutes, Hadley.”

I shake my head. He’s wrong. “We just came off stage, Cole. I have thirty minutes.”

He rests his head against my back. I feel his lips press against my skin. “I love you, Hadley, probably more than I should, but you’ve got to get over this. I know you love him, but sometimes you have to put those feelings on hold and live your life. This is not the right time for either of you and you have to accept that.”

“We should never have come here.”

“I know. I don’t know what Ian was thinking, but it’s not good and right now your fans think there’s something wrong with you, so you need to go out there and show them that you’re the Hadley Carter they paid to see, not the one they just witnessed singing to her boyfriend.”

“Fake boyfriend,” I whisper.

“Yeah, fake boyfriend,” he sighs. “It doesn’t matter what I am, we have a deal and you need to keep your end.”

“I know.”

Apparently that satisfies him because he lets me go. I slide the rest of the way to the ground and pull my knees to my chest. I wish I could cancel the rest of the show, fake the flu or something, but I can’t.

The door opens, I don’t turn around because I know who it is and as excited as I am that she’s here, I don’t want her to see me like this.

“It’s okay, Coleman, I’ll take care of everything.” I feel him shift behind me and hear the door close. Alex runs her fingers through my hair. She knows how to make me feel better.

“I want to go see him. Tomorrow he’ll be eighteen and everything will be fine. We’ll go in the morning and be back before the bus leaves.”

Alex moves and sits in front of me. She looks tired. I reach out and trace my finger under the bags. I hate seeing her like this. She shakes her head, pulling my hand into hers.

“I went to Brookfield, that’s why I’m late. I thought if I could bring Ryan to you, things would be better – not that things are good – but you know what I mean.”

“He didn’t want to come?” My voice shakes when I ask.

Alex shakes her head. “He doesn’t live at home anymore, sweetie. He ran away the morning after you left him.”

“No,” I whisper before breaking down in her arms. I’ve just lost the one I love more than anything and don’t know how to find him.

Chapter 35

Ryan

I’m eighteen today.

This is supposed to be the turning point in my life.

Today everything was meant to change.

Only I’m alone, staring at the white ceiling.

I reach under my mattress and pull out Hadley’s phone. It’s been hiding. I couldn’t stomach looking at it day after day so I hid it. I didn’t need the painful reminder of what it meant at one time not so long ago.

Freedom.

Love.

A life away from Brookfield.

Now it holds lies.

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