Page 87 of The Archer Brothers

“Random device with a few messages that need to be read,” I say, looking around.

Nate nods and pulls out his phone. “Let me call Jensen and have him come over to stay with Ryley.”

That’s probably the first thing I’ve heard him say since I’ve been back that I agree with. While he’s on the phone, I run into the house. Ryley and EJ are in the kitchen. He’s coloring and she’s dancing around, moving her body to the music playing through the radio. As much as I’d love to stay and watch, I can’t. Grabbing her by the waist, she lets out a little yelp until her eyes meet mine.

“Do me a favor?”

“Anything,” she says, out of breath.

“Lock every god damn door and window in this house and set your alarm. Make sure Deefur is with you at all times and go get your gun and keep it near you. Your dad is on his way over. Donotopen the door for anyone but him, Nate or me. Am I clear?” I say into her ear, thankful that the radio can drown me out. “I’ll be with Nate,” I say. I pull away in time to see a small smile play on her lips. I know this is what she wants, but she really shouldn’t read into anything.

Holding her chin between my thumb and forefinger I look for any sign that she’s afraid. It’s there, but she knows how to be a warrior. She’s strong.

“I love you.” I kiss her quickly before stopping in front of EJ.

Leaning in, I say, “Remember when you went and hid from Nate the other day?” he nods so I continue. “If your mom tells you to do that, you go and don’t come out until me, Nate or Grandpa comes to get you, okay?” He nods and runs to Ryley.

I hate that they’re scared, but they need to be on alert. I blow them both kisses and motion to the windows, reminding her to lock them. If Frannie is involved, she’s had unlimited access to this house and for all I know it’s bugged.

Nate’s in his car when I come out and I hurry over, sliding into the passenger seat. “Jensen is on his way and Carole and Cara are meeting us.”

“Where are we going?” I ask, as he pulls out of the driveway. My eyes are on every car we pass as we drive down the road.

“To the one place they least expect you to show up.”

THIS IS HOW EVAN’S homecoming should’ve been – him and I running off to hang out, doing the brotherly thing - but that’s not the case. The only reason he’s in my car right now is because we have the same agenda… to find out who is behind everything. “Everything” is such a broad word when you think about it, but how else do you describe it? From what I can tell there are multiple players involved and each one is hiding something different from us.

When I pull into the cemetery, I expect Evan to balk but he doesn’t. He just looks out of the window without saying a word. I stop in front of his grave and get out, leaving him to follow. With my hands pushed into my pockets, I glare at his tombstone for the lies that it holds.

“I’m never going to expect that you’ll understand about Ryley and me. Sometimes I don’t even understand it. But when you died, a piece of me died with you. All I had left was your unborn child. Twins have a special bond and as of late I have questioned that bond, but I know now that I used EJ to fill the void...the emptiness... that your death left me with.

“The day we buried you, it poured. Mom didn’t want to have a burial outside, but I wouldn’t let you go into that ground without a proper goodbye. I flinched each time the rifles went off and bloodied my hand when I pounded my Trident into your coffin. I stayed until you were lowered in. I was here when the sexton covered you with dirt. For one week I laid vigil next to you because you didn’t have a tombstone and I needed everyone who walked by to know that you were my brother, that you lost your life fighting for this country and that I had lost my best friend.

“You asked me when were eighteen to protect that girl, knowing full well how I felt about her. I loved her, Evan, and I still do, but it’s not the same love the two of you share. I was there, though. I picked her up off the ground. I made her eat so the baby could grow. So that she could have a piece of you forever, so that I had someone in my life that represented my brother. I was selfish in every way possible, and yet I don’t regret it.

“She’s just so damn easy to love, Evan. It was hard not to fall for her after Cara left. Everything that I was to her, she was to me in return when Cara walked out of my life. She rebuilt me when I was a broken man and she did so by loving and treating me as her equal.

“I know what you’re going through when you look at EJ. This little baby that I held hours after he was born was my one link to you. I vowed to protect him with everything that I am and will continue to do so until the day I die. The day he called me ‘Daddy’, I cried. I was on my knees, crying right here asking for your help, asking for you to tell me what to do, to give me a sign that everything was going to be okay.

“But nothing was okay. Cara was gone. She left me because I re-enlisted. She didn’t want to lose me the same way Ryley lost you, so walking away was easier for her. I asked Ryley what to do and she didn’t know. Her heart never healed after losing you. We were two lost people trying to raise a little boy who saw his little daycare friends call the other men in their lives ‘Dad’. He just followed them.

“Ryley and I haven’t been together that long. I’m assuming she told you that, but if she hasn’t, you can hear it from me. It was years, Evan, before she’d look at me, let alone another man. There would be days that she wouldn’t move from the couch, usually around your birthday, anniversary or the date you died. Songs would bring her to her knees or EJ would do something that reminded her of you and she’d be right back in a funk.

“I’m not her magic cure, I didn’t make missing you any easier. I’m just the guy who knew how she felt and was willing to love her regardless of her loving another man. I know I’ll never be number one in her heart and that’s something I knew when things started changing for us. But seeing her smile, hearing her laughter after a corny joke, or watching her eyes light up when she had good news was worth every bit of herself that she shared with me.”

Birds chirp around us, keeping the awkward silence at bay. Evan sighs heavily next to me as we stand over his grave. The flowers that I brought when I returned have wilted and are falling over. His American flag is off center, likely from the landscapers. I want to fix it, but at the same time I don’t know if the man buried in the coffin is worthy of a flag. I don’t even know if there’s a body in there.

“Are you going to let her go?” It’s not the question I thought he’d ask, and frankly I don’t have an answer for him. I sigh and keep my gaze on the ground.

“I still hate you,” he says after a moment, “but I understand. Thank you for telling me.”

I nod due to the lack of words I have to say right now.

“Is that why you brought me here?”

“No, I’ve needed to say that to you for a while, but we’re never alone and the last time we were was after you tried to kill me in a bar fight.” I laugh, but the situation we’re in isn’t funny. “I brought you here because if we’re being followed or trailed, they’re not going to look for you here. The last place, at least in my opinion that a man wants to go hang out at is his grave. Cara and Carole are on their way here.”

“Tell me about Cara?” he asks as a slight smile forms on my face. Just like Ryley is Evan’s favorite subject, at one point Cara was mine. Some habits, like smiling when I hear her name, are hard to break.

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