Page 48 of The Archer Brothers

CHOOSE ME

THE ARCHER BROTHERS #2

THE DUST SWIRLS OUT on the plain, the wind a constant annoyance on this training exercise. Captain O’Keefe chose this location to irritate and prepare us for our Middle East deployment. I haven’t been on a full deployment in a while, none of us have. Others have been getting the job done, but it’s time for them to come home, decompress and spend some time with their families. Our country is at war, one that will never end and now it’s our turn to go over there and do what we do best.

Tumbleweeds move toward me, on a mission to tackle me. Shooting them would make me happy, but the bullets would go nowhere and cause alarm. It’s best to ignore the errant weeds because fighting with them just leaves me frustrated. The last time I moved one I drew blood from a piece of glass it had picked up on its journey.

Today, it’s my duty to watch, to listen. We’re going on two days with no sleep, waiting for the raid to come. Practice fighting in the desert, the smoldering heat with the sun beating down on us, is to prepare us. Knowing that at the end of this exercise I can go home, marry my girl and start the next stage in our life is a welcome relief. She’s not going to like it when I tell her we’re leaving again. I haven’t had to deploy since my brother died. There have been a few missions here and there, but nothing that kept me away from Ryley and EJ too long.

This time will be different.

The thought of leaving Ryley and EJ for a long period of time doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not that she doesn’t have a strong support system because she does. Lois and Carter, our best friends, will be there when she needs them. Jensen, Ryley’s father, will be there to make sure EJ is doing all the father-son things that I’ll miss and Carole, her mother, will make sure that Ryley is taken care of if something were to happen to me.

Ryley and I have to get married when I get back. I can’t stomach the thought of knowing that I’m deploying and she and EJ won’t be taken care of in the event that something happens to me. That’s exactly what happened when my brother died. She found herself pregnant and alone, without any financial support. My brother should’ve married her when he had the chance. Instead, he left on deployment before marrying her, thinking that he was invincible and nothing would ever happen to him. Most of us have that mentality, we feel invincible. I never asked why Evan and Ryley didn’t get married when they had the opportunity. I’m not willing to make the same mistakes as Evan.

Everything that occurred after his death was a nightmare for Ryley. My mother, even though I love her dearly, is the most stubborn, hardheaded and unreasonable person I know. I can understand the anger she felt, but when Evan died he didn’t go away. Ryley was pregnant and giving us a piece of him that no one else could. My mother couldn’t see that and still has a hard time accepting the fact that she and I are together. While she dotes on EJ, she’s less than civil to Ryley and I hate that...Evan would hate that. My parents always loved Ryley and that shouldn’t change because we choose to make a life together as a couple, as a family.

Explaining to Ryley that our time is limited won’t be fun. It’s certainly not a conversation starter after I’ve been gone for over a month. “Hey honey, I’m home for a few weeks.” A few weeks… the thought of what we have to do in that time both excites and depresses me all at once. A rush wedding, sad goodbye’s and hopefully a baby conceived. I’ll have maybe a day or two before I have to break the news to her.

My radio crackles, causing me to cock my head to the side to listen. Nothing follows, there’s no command, just radio static. Someone is warning us that our mission is underway even though they shouldn’t because the intent is to catch us off-guard. Still, the warning is welcomed. It’s been forty-eight hours out in this desert and I’m ready to go home. All we have to do is complete this exercise and we’re on our way back.

Looking through my scope I spot an armadillo walking across the plain. The wind and heat makes everything shimmer causing me to blink and refocus. My spotter, Texas, is next to me. He chuckles, likely wondering if I’m going to blast the critter or let him keep walking.

“He could be dinner,” he mumbles under his breath. His real name is Carl Poole, but he earned the nickname Texas when he showed up at a gathering with shit kickers, a cowboy hat and a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth. He solidified his handle when he asked if we all wanted to go to a hoedown. SEALs spend a lot of time together and know just about everything about each other. The day we left he found out that his sometimes girlfriend is pregnant. We wanted to celebrate that night, but he said he wasn’t sure it was his baby because he hadn’t been with her in a few months. Tex will do the right thing, and I know Ryley will help his girlfriend while we’re deployed. It’s all part of being a family.

“I hear the meat is tough.” I try to adjust my position, one that I’ve been in for hours waiting for a sign that we’re on. Peering through my scope again, there’s nothing. We’ve been here for over a month and I have yet to fire my rifle. We sit and wait. We talk and strategize. We go over images of mountain ranges and terrain. This is not my idea of a training mission, but rather a slumber party with the g-rated version of Rambo.

“We’re done,” Tex says after his radio squawks. He starts packing up, putting our gear back into our packs.

“What are you talking about?” I ask, incredulously. We’ve been out here for two days, for what? I remain in position, in case this is a set-up and an ambush is coming.

Tex shrugs. “Dunno. Command says break down and come in.”

I look around for any sign that Tex could be wrong, but see nothing amiss. This exercise doesn’t make sense and seems more and more like a waste of time. We could’ve been home with our families, giving them a proper goodbye instead of being out here.

“What the fuck?” I yell as I stand and sling my rifle over my shoulder. I’m not letting go for fear that this is a trap. It wouldn’t be the first time a set-up has happened and caught us off guard.

By the time I’m packed, Tex is waiting. He seems anxious to get back to camp. I’m willing to bet that his girl has called and he’s eager to speak to her. Ryley won’t call. It’s something she used to do for Evan, but won’t do it for me. I don’t blame her, she had to make some changes in her life and she mostly changed anything that had to do with Evan.

As soon as we arrive back at camp, theMH-60 SpecOps variant Black Hawklands to take us back to base. As I look around, it’s clear that this place has been cleaned up and our bags packed for us.

“You comin’?” Tex asks as he shoulders his bag. I nod, but don’t move. Something isn’t right about this whole situation. We should’ve had a weapons check and gone over our exercise. We should’ve sat down and dissected every movement of our enemy until we had everything memorized. We spent all this time out here, and for what – to look at maps?

Tex bumps my shoulder as he walks by. He stops and waits for me.

“Yeah,” I tell him as I reach for my bags. “Something isn’t right,” I mutter to myself as I walk out toward our waiting transport.

THIS IS HOW LIFE is supposed to be... my son on my hip, my dog at my feet and my beautiful girl standing in front of me dripping wet because I’ve just dumped her into the ocean. EJ laughs in my arms, and my heart swells with pride and admiration for this little boy. I know he’s part me, but I wasn’t here for so many milestones in his life – from the first time he kicked, to when he was born, to taking his first steps. I’ve missed so much. All for a job I love that doesn’t love me back.

“Look,” EJ says, as he points to sky. A kite in the shape of a bird flies above us. The closer it comes to us, the larger the shadow it makes. I use this opportunity to stare at Ryley as she watches the animated bird. Waves crash around her legs, and she wobbles a little. I should move, go stand by her, but I’m lost in her beauty. From the first day I saw her, I knew she was the one. She’s my angel, my saving grace... but she’s also my destruction. She could end my world by telling me that she wants to be with Nate and there won’t be anything I can do about it. As she stands in front of me, with the sun shining down and encasing her, I can’t even begin to comprehend how lucky I am to be with her right now.

After I returned home, standing there on the porch with my cap in my hand and seeing her look at me with such horror in her eyes, I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand. When she told me that I was dead and cautiously touched me as if I wasn’t real, I thought I had lost her. There was no way to understand the words coming out of her mouth. Her face streaked with tears and her voice laced with anger brought me to my knees. What had happened over the years to cause this and why? And how was I going to get her back and make things right?

Fight, that’s how.

This fight to win her back, to keep her as my own, is going to be the death of me. It’s a fight I won’t be giving up unless there’s a bullet in my head, or she tells me to leave. I know in my heart that she loves me. It’s my mind that refuses to let go of the images of her and my brother together. Thinking about him touching her, knowing that he’s wanted her since we were teens is the nail in my proverbial coffin. And where is he now? The storm rolls in and he’s conveniently gone. His crew is on an abruptly scheduled training mission. Hehasto know I’m back. He’shadto have been called. So why isn’t he home?

Ryley splashes me, causing EJ to squirm in my arms. I set him down and watch him run to her. She scoops him up in her arms, just like you see in those cheesy romantic comedies that she watches. I don’t want to be on the outside looking in, but I can’t pressure her. The decision she made the other night, saying she wasn’t going to marry Nate, made my heart soar but also caused me to take pause. They’ve built a life without me, a life that has my son calling my brother “Dad”, and left me to be nothing more to him than the guy whose face is on his walls.

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