Page 9 of The Archer Brothers

“My dad bled out in the field, his legs were blown away from his body. The medic said he didn’t suffer, but he was alive for a few minutes after the blast. At first I believed the medic, but as I saw my own combat and watched my friends die, I know his ears were ringing and he could hear the yelling even if it was muffled. He knew what was going on as his breathing became labored and he couldn’t feel his legs. I know he fought to move before insurgents could move in on their position. I’ve seen it over and over again. The soldiers who aren’t injured are scrambling to save their comrades all while trying to save themselves.”

I have to get up and walk. Flashes of soldiers down on the ground are images I don’t want to recall right now. I run my hand through my hair and tug at the ends lightly. I sigh heavily and rest my head against the wall. “War is ugly. It destroys families and your faith in humanity. I lost my dad and had to let my sister grow up without a man in the house. Nate and I could’ve taken a discharge, but my mom assured us they were fine.”

I shake my head and move back to the chair, but before sitting down I look at the therapist and take her in. She’s not writing or even watching me, but crying. She sheds tears for a family she doesn’t even know, a man who lost his life serving his country.

She catches me watching her and tries to smile. She pulls a tissue from her the box that sits on top of her desk and dries her eyes. I’m taken by her ability to show emotion with a job like hers. I have to look away because I don’t want to see the pity in her eyes. My family has been through something no one should ever have to experience because of war.

“Are you ready to talk about what happened to you the last time you deployed?”

My eyes study her, sharply. My head moves before I have time to think because no, I don’t want to talk about the decisions that were made that kept me from my family. That kept three of my unit-mates and me in the dense forest for years without communication, surviving only on our skills while trying to find the most elusive man in the world.

“We’ll have to discuss your time there.”

“Not right now,” I demand. “I’ll talk about anything else, but that.”

“HOW SOON DID YOUand Evan start dating?”

I fold my hands in my lap and think back to those first days of school. “If you were to ask Evan, he’d say it’s the day we first kissed. It’s something we used to argue about all the time, but for me I think it was the first day he told another girl that he had a girlfriend. He had never said that word to me before, and I didn’t want to assume.”

“Why not?”

I shrug. “He had other girlfriends before me, and I thought he just went around kissing girls in ice creams shops. I don’t know. I didn’t want to believe that he had chosen me and I had all these questions.”

“Like what, Ryley?”

“Like, why me? I wasn’t anything special, and I was new. Evan had his pick of any girl in that school and he chose me. It made me wonder a lot and second guess his intentions.”

“I think that’s common among teenagers,” she says. I silently agree with her.

I sit up a bit straighter on the couch and smooth out my dress. “About two or three weeks into the school year, I was walking down the hall to my next class. It was right next to Evan’s locker, so I knew I’d see him. His back was facing me when I walked around the corner, but I could see that he was with a blond. I didn’t know her, but had seen her around campus a few times. I stopped, not intending to eavesdrop, but more to brace myself for what I thought I was going to see.”

The therapist leans forward. Is my story exciting to her?

“What did you see?”

“Nothing,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s what I heard. She was asking him to go to homecoming with her, and he said he was taking his girlfriend. She asked who he was dating because she hadn’t heard and when he said my name… it was like my heart was trying to take over my body. It was beating so hard. I couldn’t catch my breath. I gasped so loudly. I was embarrassed. He turned around with this boyish grin on his face, and I knew he was talking about me.”

“Evan sounds romantic.”

“He was…” I fiddle with the end of my dress before dropping it back in place and folding my hands. “I’m sure, if given the opportunity, he still is. He’s very unassuming.”

“What do you mean by unassuming, Ryley?”

“Evan came off as the dumb jock type to his friends. He was always laughing and goofing off in the halls or after school. He never took anything seriously. If there was a big game or a championship game he was the one cracking jokes all day to ease everyone’s tension. He was the life of the party, except when we were alone.”

“What was he like then?”

A single tear drops. “Sweet, caring and loving. He taught me what it felt like to be loved. To be worshipped. He taught me, well, everything. I was this naïve girl who had her first kiss in an ice cream shop, but that didn’t seem to bother him. He didn’t see me as a challenge or a conquest. He never made fun of me because of my lack of experience. The way he made me feel… I still felt that way the day he left for his last deployment.”

“When did Evan first leave you?”

“It was the beginning of my junior year in college when he called and said he was leaving. I knew the day was coming, but never thought I’d actually hear him say those words.

“‘Hi, babe.’”

“‘Hi.’”

“‘I have to leave for a little bit.’”

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