Page 85 of The Archer Brothers

And now she’s here for me when I didn’t ask her to be. I don’t care if this is her job or not. My first love has walked back into my life when it’s in complete turmoil and, for the time being, I want to be done talking about this mission so I can take her aside and ask her how she’s been. I want to know what she’s been up to and all that she’s accomplished. And in some strange, perverse way, I want to know if she’s single. Has she found someone to love her the way she deserves to be loved?

The conversation continues around us and I watch Cara in action. She has papers spread out in front of us, pictures of faces that I don’t know. Her words are muffled, and it’s as if my head is under the water and she’s standing above me talking. She tried that once when we were in Hawaii. I let her push me under and she stood above me, laughing.

When we took the trip to Hawaii, I was planning on asking her to marry me. The ring was in our hotel room and the dinner had been planned. Then the phone call came in about Evan and it was over. I put my anger and hurt before her and shouldn’t have. Cara should’ve been the most important person in my life at that point. She was. I just didn’t know how to show her.

“Nate, are you listening?”

“I’m sorry, swee… Cara. What did you say?” I catch myself before I call her sweetie, the nickname I had for her when we were together. I swallow hard as she smiles before turning away. I don’t know if I should read into anything, but I think I finally know what Ryley is going through with being torn between the two of us.

“WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE animal today?” I ask EJ, as I tuck him in. He asked me to read him a bedtime story after he had his bath and I was more than happy to take on the task. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking with this whole “Dad” business, especially as Nate was here last night and I’m here tonight. If I’m confused, he must be as well.

“The edapants,” he says, turning over to face me. I’m over six feet tall, laying in a twin bed and EJ laughs at me because my feet hang over the edge, but I don’t care. I’ve never felt more comfortable than I do now. He’ll never know what this means to me. These moments with him are slowly starting to fill the holes in my heart. I can understand why Nate is so unwilling to let him go.

EJ shows me his bear. He holds it up, pretending it’s talking to me as he tells me about the zoo. He doesn’t know this, or maybe he does, but he sleeps with my teddy bear. I never understood why my mom held on to certain toys, but I’m thankful this particular one ended up with my son. The poor bear is ratty looking, but Ryley says he doesn’t go to bed without it.

“I like the elephants too,” I tell him. “Did you know they bring good luck?”

“That’s silly.”

“I know, but it’s true. I think that maybe we should buy one and put it in your backyard because we can all use some good luck.”

EJ laughs and it’s the most magical sound I’ve ever heard. “Mommy would be so mad when he poops in the backyard.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh right along with him. “Yeah, I think she would. Do you think she’d make me clean it up?”

He nods animatedly. “I can help if we get one.”

What I wouldn’t give to bring home an elephant for my son, just so I can see the look in his eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Goodnight, Eban.”

“Goodnight, EJ.”

EJ snuggles into his pillow with his arm wrapped tightly around my bear and closes his eyes. I don’t want to leave, but spending time with Ryley is just as important. I don’t know if I’m coming or going with her right now. My mind is telling me to run. To run fast and far without looking back because looking back holds too much pain, and I’m so tired of feeling broken. But my heart is telling me that she deserves another chance and that her mistake in telling EJ that I was his dad without me there was done out of stress and nerves. My heart is telling me to fight for her, show her that she is still my one and only even if she already knows it.

A light caress startles me awake. As my eyes focus, I see EJ is sound asleep, but feel her behind me. I know it’s her by the smell of her perfume. Looking at her over my shoulder, the soft glow from EJ’s night-light casts her in a shroud of gold.

“Hey,” she says quietly, stepping away from the bed as I move to sit up. “I thought I’d wake you in case you wanted to go to bed.”

“With you?” I ask, knowing I don’t deserve or even expect an answer. I’m a smartass. I get it. I follow her out of EJ’s room and down the stairs. The lights are off, but the TV is illuminating the room. It’s a peaceful calm that I haven’t felt in a long time. “Where’s Livvie?”

“She went with Nate. She said she hadn’t spent much time with him since he came back.” Ryley sits down on the couch, pulling a blanket over her legs. I know I have a few options here: I can go upstairs and try to sleep, knowing I won’t be able to. I can sit down next to her and try and soak up as much Ryley as possible. Or, my favorite option, I can carry her off to her room and make love to her.

While option three is what I truly want to do, I know she won’t allow us to be that way and I respect that even if it’s killing me. Option two is going to win out because I need her like my body needs water. I’m a fool to think I can walk away from her. I’m a stupid man if I think I can live without her in my life. I told myself in the beginning that I was going to fight dirty and I’m going to start by reminding her how much she loves me.

Rubbing my hand over my chest, I laugh when Ryley’s eyes go wide. It’s nice to know I still have an effect on her. Lord knows she sends me into a tailspin each time I think about her or she walks into the room. I keep my eyes on her as I move toward her. Her tongue wets her lips, telling me that everything that I’ve questioned about how she feels about me is wrong. She wants me, she’s just torn, and I’m going to help put her back together.

I pull my shirt over my head and toss it onto the couch. Her eyes roam from my face to my body. Seeing her pull her lower lip in between her teeth is all the encouragement I need. My steps are calculated as I walk toward her. I flick the top button of my shorts, earning an inhale from her. Watching her react to me is such an ego boost. She has no idea what she does to me.

When I reach her, I pull the blanket away from her bare legs. I need to feel her skin against mine. I want the burn, the ache that she brings when she touches me. My thumb caresses her lower lip and I lean in, brushing my lips across hers. I lost track of when I got to kiss her last and right now it feels like the first time. I can taste the raspberry and chocolate ice cream that coats her mouth and feel the familiar spark when my warm tongue meets her ice cold one.

Ryley Clarke was made for me, there’s no doubt about it.

Her hands hold my face to hers with her fingers adding the right amount pressure to my jaw. She’s pulling me down on top of her and I’m not one to deny her what she wants. Everything moves in slow motion until her back touches the couch and she wraps her legs around me. My mind races at the thought of what I could do to her in this position if only she’d choose me. If only she’d tell me that I’m the one she wants for the rest of her life. If only she’d let me remind her of our connection and how much I love her.

My lips explore her body as I nip and taste my way over her skin. Her neck invites me to mark her, to tell everyone who sees her that she is mine, but I won’t do that to her. And when her hips buck against mine I give her the pressure that she needs. I haven’t dry humped this woman since she was seventeen years old, but if that’s what she needs right now, who am I to say no?

Sharp nails dig into my back as I move against her. My freaking balls are going to be purple at this rate, but I don’t care. Ryley angles herself so that I have no choice but to kiss her. I’m not complaining. I’ll happily kiss her until the sun comes up and sets again if that’s what she needs from me.

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