Page 34 of The Archer Brothers

“Yes,” I say, stretching my legs out in front of me to get my blood flowing.

“Your dad’s here, we should go.” Evan stands, pulling me up by my hand that he won’t let go of. I’m thankful EJ doesn’t ask me why we’re always holding hands because honestly I won’t be able to give him an answer. I kiss my dad on the cheek as we pass and continue to allow Evan to guide me to the car. It’s my car, yet he’s driving. I guess some things never change.

Evan and I climb the stairs to the therapist’s office, hand in hand. I’m starting to think he’s glued to me. I’m not complaining, but think this might be awkward for the doctor. Not that Evan will care. As soon as we’re in the waiting room, the receptionist directs us into the same room where I fell apart, emotionally and physically.

We step in and I’m instantly hit with the sun shining through the window, bouncing off the pale yellow walls and making the artwork shine. I look around confused and wonder if we’re in the same room as before.

“What’s going on in your head? Evan asks.

I shrug. “This room looks different,” I say as I take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of her desk. As I look around, I notice fresh flowers by the window and picture frames containing the doctor’s various degrees. On her desk, the nameplate readsHelen Howard. It’s odd how I didn’t notice this before.

“I was thinking the same thing. This room was gloomy and this chair hurt my back. Hell, I didn’t even know she had a name.” he mumbles right as Dr. Howard walks in. She smiles as soon as she sees our joined hands, and I know she’s getting the wrong impression.

“It’s good to see you both again. I take it things are going well?”

Evan nods, while I shake my head. And there it is, our first disagreement. Her face falls and her eyes look again at our hands.

“We’re not together, if that’s what you’re implying,” I inform her.

“Not yet, it’s only a matter time.” I roll my eyes at his confidence.

Dr. Howard folds her hands and rests them on her desk. “Shall we get started?”

We both nod and I cross my legs, directing my foot toward Evan so I can kick when I need to.

“Who wants to start?”

“I do,” Evan answers her before I have a chance to. He adjusts slightly in his seat. “I don’t know what you said to Ryley in her session, but I want to thank you. If I could kiss you without harassment charges being filed, I would do so. That night,” he takes a deep breath. “I met my son and had dinner with Ryley, EJ and her parents. It was literally the best night of my life, and I’m hoping to have with more nights with them. But, Ryley is upset with what I’m wearing, and I don’t know how to help her be comfortable with my job without damaging what we’re trying to rebuild.”

Dr. Howard looks from Evan to me after she makes her obligated notes.

“Ryley, do you want to talk about that fear with Evan?”

“Sure.” I’m not sure what I can say to alleviate the fear that is bubbling in my stomach. What if we’re back together and he has to leave again? I’m not sure I could handle it. I couldn’t when I was seventeen, and barely could when he left six years ago. Over time, I learned to accept and move forward, but now… I’m not so sure I’d be able to.

“I’m scared,” I say. “When he walked outside dressed like this, I was suddenly in high school again and he was leaving.” I shake my head and reach for a tissue.

“She tried to break-up with me,” Evan adds lightly. There’s nothing light about him leaving, ever.

“How did you feel, Ryley, when Evan told you he enlisted in the Navy?”

I take a deep breath and squeeze his hand. “Lost, confused. Proud. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I knew this was Nate’s plan long before I came into the picture, but Evan and I never really discussed his future. I was losing my best friends at the same time and my only saving grace was that I’d have Lois.”

“Did you and Evan break-up before he went to basic?”

I half choke and laugh, remembering how he wouldn’t allow me to. “No,” I shake my head and look over at Evan. He has a smile plastered all over his face because he knows how well this moment in our lives ended. “I thought we’d break up, ya know? I mean he was going off to work and didn’t need some needy teenager pining away for him. I didn’t want to be that girlfriend, so I broke up with him. I remember the night perfectly. It was one week before he was set to leave. We went to the park and I just blurted it out. ‘I think we should break-up.’”

“I asked her if she was nuts,” Evan adds for good measure. He leans over and kisses me on the cheek. “I love you, babe,” he whispers sending chills down my arms.

I take a calming breath and continue. “I didn’t want him to feel obligated.”

“Did you, Evan?” Dr. Howard asks with her pen poised for more notes.

“Never. I didn’t see Ryley as an obligation or anything like that. I saw her as my future and still do. I told her that I loved her more than anything and wanted the whole world to know. I told her that at basic I was going to need to know that my girl was going to be on the other end of the line when I got a chance to call. I needed to know that when she read my letters she felt the same way. I wanted her there when I graduated, but only if she wanted to be.”

“I did,” I say, chocking on a sob. “I wanted all that too, and we had it.”

“The day he left, Ryley, how did you feel?”

---