Page 33 of The Archer Brothers

I shake my head. “Just remembering our first time together.” She blushes and looks away, but doesn’t move her hand from my lap. If I didn’t know better, and I can’t confirm this without looking down at my crotch, I swear to god her pinky is rubbing up and down over the outside of my pants making me wish our son wasn’t in the back sleeping.

“We were so young.”

I shake my head. “You were. Technically, I was an adult.”

“That was so long ago.”

I pick up her hand and kiss her before placing in back on my thigh. She looks at me when her hand brushes against me and I wink. She has to know that she still has this effect on me. I don’t want her thinking that she doesn’t turn me on just by sitting next to me.

“We were stupid,” I throw out there, thinking about how we never used a condom.

She looks over her shoulder and I wish I could see her eyes right now. I want to see them light up when she looks at our son. “I don’t know about that, Evan. We created him.”

“Babe, we created him ten years after being together. I’m talking about when we were teens and screwing all over the place without a condom.”

This time she shrugs. “If I had gotten pregnant back then, what would you have done?”

“Same thing I did when you got pregnant with EJ. Ask you to marry me.” I have to look away because by all accounts we should be married by now. I should’ve made her an honest woman years ago, but our lives were too busy.

“It’s what I should do now.”

“It’s not that easy,” she whispers and yet keeps her hand on my leg.

“Ry, the quicker you realize you’re not marrying Nate, not as long as I’m alive, the quicker we can move on with our lives.”

Her head turns sharply, and I know I’m in trouble. “And what makes you think I’m not going to marry Nate.”

“Simple, you love me.”

NATE STILL ISN’T HOMEand each day that passes brings me closer and closer to the brink of panic. I’ve called and left another message, more urgent than before. I don’t know if he’s getting them or not, but it concerns me that whoever’s delivering them isn’t doing so with the intent of an emergency. I want Nate to hear it from me that Evan is alive even though I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in his company has already informed him.

And if that’s the case, why isn’t he home? Why isn’t he here dealing with everything that I am? I know that once he’s here, things will go from relatively calm to utter chaos. My life is slowly becoming a bad segment on a talk show. Two brothers, as close as any brothers could be, will battle it out over me and my son. Lines are already drawn in the sand so to speak, and EJ and I are standing smack dab in the middle. It’s not going to matter which side I step to; the Archer twins will never be the same. I could choose neither, but I know deep down that Evan will never accept that. And neither will Nate. They both love me, each in their own way. I feel like I’m on a cracked out version ofThe Bachelorette.

Evan has been staying here since the day we finished our first therapy session. That was over a week ago. I didn’t have it in me to send him back to the base, especially since this is his house and he’s trying to get to know EJ. I’m not gonna lie, having him here has been hard. I’ve had to sit on my hands one too many times to keep myself from touching him. Every hand hold, every kiss, every moment we’ve shared has been initiated by him. I have no doubt he’s questioning my love for him, but I can’t bring myself to disgrace Nate that way. IknowI should tell Evan to knock it off, but I can’t. I love him. I have since I was seventeen and having him here, in the flesh, is a constant reminder of what I’ve been missing.

The moment I saw him walking toward me when he first got back, the hole in my heart started to fill up again. That was the pain I was feeling that day, along with the fear that I was only imagining him standing before me. I was afraid this was all a cruel joke and that he was going to disappear the very second I touched him. It’s why I couldn’t accept that he was real, that he was back from the dead. No one would ever be that callous. But they were. Someone sat by and watched my, and others’, world crumble without a second thought. Now they’re sitting back and watching us try and rebuild the lives that have been destroyed.

Evan places his hand on my shoulder and the automatic reflex of my head resting on top of his happens. I close my eyes and feel the warmth radiating off of him. As soon as he pulls away, my eyes are open, and I’m watching our son drive around the backyard in the toy Jeep Evan bought for him. I told Evan he can’t buy his love, and he assured me he’s not. He’s just trying to make up for missed birthdays.

When Evan walks in front of me, I gasp and quickly cover my mouth. He sits next me and pulls my hand away from my mouth to hold it.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

He knows what’s wrong, but is going to make me say it anyway. “It’s the NWU’s. I didn’t think… I don’t know what I thought.”

“I’m still enlisted, Ryley.”

I nod, knowing this, but I didn’t think I’d see him wearing NWU’s any time soon. “I know, Evan. I’m just a little taken by the sight, that’s all.” I try to recover, but the wavering is there. If I had my way, he’d retire, but I know he has to be on active duty if he wants to find out what happened to him and the guys.

“I told you, I don’t think they’ll send me anywhere. Our unit is too much of a risk right now. Did I tell you that Frannie is going to the paper?” I shake my head. “She says this mission was a cover up for something big and people need to pay. She plans to take it all the way to Capitol Hill to get answers.”

“Do you think she will?” I look at Evan and he looks hopeful. Answers won’t change our situation, but they might give us some closure.

“I’m trying to remain optimistic.”

I smile at him before turning my attention back to EJ. We have our first joint counseling session today and we’re just waiting for my dad to get here. I was hesitant to even go to therapy, but have to admit, she made me think about a lot of things in my life. One thing that’s giving me a lot of pause is my upcoming nuptials to Nate. Honestly, I’m not sure getting married to him, or anyone at this point, is the right thing to do. I need to find myself and get over my anger of having lost six years with Evan.

“Hey, you still with me?” he shakes my hand, bringing me out of my funk.

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