Page 205 of The Archer Brothers

“Me, first,” I interrupt him. “I have something to tell you.” I shake my head slightly and inhale. “I’m pregnant.”

I imagine my sentence transmitting through the air as if on a communication line, and I’m waiting for the news to reach Nate. It seems like it’s forever until everything registers with him.

His face goes from blank to elated within seconds, and before I can take my next breath, he has me out of my chair and in his arms. I’m stiff as a board while he hugs me. He wants this—a baby—with me. When he releases me, I stand there for a moment and then slowly sink back into my chair.

“Cara,” he says my name quietly, concern replacing the elation in his expression.

I look at him with unshed tears and shake my head. “I’m sorry, Nate.” With those words, he drops to his knees in front of me. “I know I should be happy, but I’m not. I’ve never seen myself as a mother, let alone in a serious relationship. Being with you, it’s been amazing. We have an easy relationship. It’s effortless, really. And this . . . it complicates everything for me. I love my job. I love doing what I do, but it’s not easy, and the things I know about this world? I don’t know if I can bring a child into it. And I love you, and I know you want to be a father, especially . . .” I trail off because he doesn’t need a reminder about EJ.

I turn away from him and cover my face with my hands so he can’t see me cry and so I can’t look at the hurt I’m causing him. I expect him to move back to his seat, but he doesn’t. He moves closer, making sure I can feel his presence.

“Did you find out yesterday?”

I nod.

“I figured something was up when I found you sitting in your car, but I didn’t want to pressure you. I knew you’d tell me whatever was bothering you when you were ready.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” he says as he stands. He leans into me and whispers. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Not a damn thing. Since we’ve been back together, we haven’t talked about our future or whether we want kids. I love you, Cara. I love everything about you, and if this isn’t right for you, so be it. I’m not going anywhere. I want you to take all the time you need. You need to figure out what’s best for you and only you. If I have learned anything over the past year or so, it’s that life is too short not to be happy. I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy.”

He kisses me below my ear and then wraps his arms around me. I sob into his chest, knowing his heart breaks because of my feelings, and I’m not sure I can do anything about it.

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