She nods and smiles brightly.
My hands run down the fabric until they’re nestled deep within the pockets. “Wow, crazy.”
“Do you want to show your mom?”
Alex takes my arm without waiting for a response and guides me to the door. She steps out and says something to my mom, Livvie and Penny, and then pulls the curtain back. When I walk out, they’re all facing the other direction and I know Alex has done this so they can see me standing on the pedestal instead of walking toward it. She situates the train and then tells them to turn around.
There’s a collective gasp among them and all three have their hands covering their mouths.
“You found it,” Lois tells me.
“Ryley, this is it,” Penny says.
“Evan is going to faint,” Livvie adds.
“Simply breathtaking,” my mom says as she wipes away fallen tears. This dress must be the one if both my mom and I cried.
“How much is it?” I ask Alex.
“It doesn’t matter,” Mom says. “We’ll take it.”
* * *
My mom drives us to the café near base to have lunch instead of heading to her house where all my bridal stuff is stored. My dress is in the back of her SUV, and I’m nervous about it. Right now, I want it hanging in the closet, where I know it’ll be safe. I can’t leave anything at home because Evan is a snoop, even when he doesn’t mean to be. We talked previously about the whole not seeing the bride before the wedding thing and said it wasn’t for us, but now that I have my dress, now that things seem more real, I think I want that. I also don’t want to spend a night away from Evan, but I might have to make a sacrifice just this once.
Mom parks along the curb and we all pile out of her car. It takes me a second to realize where we are. I stand on the sidewalk and stare at the intersection where it all happened. That day, I had met Cara for lunch, even though I had plans to meet Nate. My life was a mess. Evan, Nate and I were in this love triangle that should’ve never happened, and Evan feared for his life. Someone wanted him dead.
After I met with Cara and she talked non-stop about Nate, I knew then I was going to tell Nate my decision, only I felt like it was more for Nate than me. I texted my mom and asked her to pick me up, and then met Nate for ice cream and handed him his engagement ring back. I left him there, with Cara waiting.
My mom and I weren’t in the car for a minute when a semi-truck plowed into us. I remember everything from that moment: the impact, the smell of rubber, the heat from the fire in the engine. I remember the screaming and all the sailors running toward us. I remember seeing Nate coming as fast as he could, and then my memory goes blank. The car exploded, but not before some guys from base pulled my mom and I out of it. She suffered most of the damages to her arm and leg, and had to be confined to a wheelchair. I broke my wrist, but this was only the beginning of the bullshit we would endure at the hands of Frannie Riveria.
“Ryley,” my mom stands next to me and reaches for my hand, which now throbs.
“This is my first time back.”
“We can go somewhere else?” My mom is tough. She returned to work months later and did everything she could to help Evan and his team figure out what was going on. Sometimes I wonder if anything ever fazes her.
“No, I need to learn to deal with the trauma. I live here now. I’ll have to drive by here all the time.” I turn to go into the café and only to find Penny standing in front of me. She wraps her arm around me and pulls me close to her. We walk into the restaurant together and wait for the hostess to seat us.
“Only the strong survive,” Penny whispers in my ear. She’s right, and she’s the strongest woman I know. What she went through, the lengths she took to keep her daughter safe, I don’t know if I could ever be that brave.
As soon as we all sit down, the hostess brings us a basket of fresh tortilla chips. I reach for one first and dip it into the bowl of salsa sitting next to it. “I missed this while in Washington. I swear, I may have lived there most of my life, but southern Cali has the best food.”
“I agree,” mom says. “This is my favorite cantina. I could eat here every day.”
“Same,” Lois adds as she takes a chip. “So, since no one brought it up at the bridal shower I’m going to. Ryley, are you and Evan going to have more kids?”
The chip I have poised to enter my mouth stops and mocks me. I don’t know whether to set it down or stuff it into my mouth to avoid the question. If you would have asked me years ago if we were going to have more kids and the answer is yes, ask me now and it’s a giant I don’t know.
“Oh, I don’t . . . Evan and I haven’t really talked about it. EJ comes first ‘ya know, with him starting school and—”
“And it’s about time he calls Evan dad, instead of Eban,” my mom says.
“He doesn’t say Eban anymore, and honestly I sort of miss it. The dad thing, I know Evan hates it, but I can’t force EJ to say it. It has to come naturally, at least that’s what the therapist said.”
“I remember the first time Claire called Tucker dad. I think I cried for an hour. I was happy, sad, and every emotion in between.”
“Why?” Livvie asks.
Penny take a deep breath. “I was happy for Tucker, but sad because of Ray. No matter how I look at my life, I spent years thinking my husband was gone, and I married another man who raised my daughter. Ray was a good man, even if . . .”
I set my hand down on top of hers. Evan and Tucker have speculated that Ray was somehow involved, but there isn’t any proof, at least none that they have found. Evan tells me that he’s let this all go, but I’m not so sure he has. There’s a reason Justin Rask is still enlisted, and Tucker McCoy is “working” for the Navy. We have people on the inside and I have a feeling this thing that started years ago is far from over.