Page 20 of Wrangled

“Hey, don’t mock. I’ve done a lot of reading around this.”

“Oh really?”

“Personal stuff—and not something I want to talk about.”

“Gotcha.” It sounded as though Diana had troubles of her own.

“I think you’re dealing with a lot of unresolved grief and regrets. Now, that’s some powerful stuff right there. That takes a lot of time and effort to work through.”

“Okay, thanks for the analysis. I’ll send you your fee.”

She ignored my attempt at humor. “Did you love Kevin? Did he love you?”

I went quiet for a moment. “This morning, Zeeb said who I loved was no one’s business but mine. I didn’t tell him the truth. That yeah, I loved Kevin, but I didn’t know that until they laid him in the grave. And with every spadeful of earth they dropped onto his coffin, that realization weighed in on me, heavier… and heavier…”

Except what had weighed me down hadn’t been love, but guilt.

That hair shirt was going in the trash, first thing in the morning, swear to God.

I sighed. “So yeah, I loved him. And he loved me.” That was true… kind of.

“And neither one of you came right out and said the words?”

There was nothing to say.

Her sigh echoed mine. “Lord, I hate the damn strong silent types. That means you were… thirty-two when you two got together?”

“Quaint way of putting it, but yeah, we snuck around for a while. Couldn’t let Dad know, right?”

Silence.

“Diana?”

“You think he didn’t?”

My heartbeat quickened. “Guess I’ve been fooling myself.”

“Okay, he might have known about the sex,” she conceded. “I don’t think he cottoned onto the rest.”

“Excuse me?”

No. No. No. My little sister—I didn’t give a shit that she was forty-nine—wasnottalking about…

She coughed. “Okay, I might not have known abouteverythingyou two got up to, but I certainly recognized the… er… power dynamic in your relationship.”

“‘Power dynamic?’” I could almost hear the air quotes.

Yeah, she knew more than I’d expected—or had ever wanted her to.

“Robert.” Her voice was soft. “It’s okay. You don’t need to go into details. I’m a woman of the world.” With a note of pride, she added, “I’ve readFifty Shades.”

In that moment I wassograteful we were having this conversation over the phone instead of face-to-face.

“And no, I don’t think Dad knew. Some people can be unaware of what’s going on around them. I’m married to one of those. Others—like me and Zeeb—tend to notice too much. All Dad saw was the ranch.”

“Maybe because that was all he wanted to see.”

“I’m glad we finally talked,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the opportunity to know Kevin better.”

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