Page 41 of Broken Princess

I know he resents the pressure his family puts on him, but he does still care about his family. He cares about the responsibility he's due to inherit, whether he wants to admit it or not, and if he turns his back on that now, he would only live to regret it.

The last thing I want is for me or this baby to become bondage that he will resent one day. Maybe not tomorrow, or even a year from now, but eventually.

His words about breaking off the engagement, and confessing his love for me, are still running through my mind, but they didn't change anything. They, too, are part of a fairy tale I'm no longer naïve enough to believe in.

It's better to let him think he isn't losing anything. At least one of us can live in blissful ignorance that way.

Is that what it means to love someone? To want them to be free and as happy as possible, even if it makes you miserable? Even if you know it means they will only hate you in return? As unbearable as that thought is, the thought of him coming to resent me and our baby, or getting himself killed by taking on both of our families, is so much worse.

So, I do what I'm best at. I bury my feelings on the matter so deep that I feel nothing. That's the only safe state to be in, even if it certainly isn't a healthy one.

I don't want to talk to or even see anyone any more than necessary. Even though I told Anthony what had happened shortly after everything went down, I've been putting off his attempts to get together, too. Dad probably would allow him to come over, if no one else, but I know if he does, I'm just going to be a mess with an audience. He's already dealt with enough of my drama and bullshit for one lifetime.

I know pushing away the people I care about isn't exactly healthy in itself, but I already feel like I'm made up of a thousand pieces, floating away from a nucleus that no longer exists. There is no longer any substance or gravity holding me together.

I'm just… empty.

There’s a knock at my door, and I groan, rolling over and burying my face in my pillow. "Go away."

"Don't make me pick this lock," calls Anthony's familiar voice from behind the door.

My heart immediately feels a little bit lighter hearing his voice, but the relief doesn't last long.

I sigh, dragging myself out of bed even though I feel like there are weights attached to me. The evidence of my pregnancy seems to grow every day, but I'm still notthatbig yet. Depression is a hell of thing.

I open the door a crack, not surprised to find Anthony standing there, looking as put together and upbeat as ever. He's a perpetual morning person. His only flaw, really.

"There you are," he says, folding his arms. "I was starting to think I was going to have to send in the Guard." He pauses, looking over me, and I can tell from the worried expression on his face that I look about as bad as I feel. "Wow. You look…"

"Like shit?" I mumble. "Tell me something I don't know."

"I was going to say tired, but… Damn, is it really that bad?"

I just sigh and step back to let him in. I have no idea whether Kayleigh is home or not, but if she is, the last thing I need is her finding out everything Dad so carefully crafted a narrative to hide. "Come in."

Anthony walks into the room, turning on the light, since only the small lamp by my bed is on. "Are you sure you're not hiding because you turned into a vampire?"

"Pretty sure," I say flatly, leaning against the dresser as he flops down on the edge of my bed.

"You know, you can't stay in here forever," he reasons. "Even the Phantom of the Opera came out every now and then."

"He also lived in the sewers under Paris," I point out. Even though that sounds preferable to my current living arrangement.

"So you haven't spoken with Lorenzo since?" he asks, growing somber.

"What is there to talk about?" I ask, shrugging. "He hates me now. For once, he has reason."

"That's debatable," Anthony mumbles. "I still don't know why your father is set on this complete bullshit arrangement with Stefan."

"That makes two of us," I answer. I do have a few theories, though.

"What is it?" Anthony asks, always quick to pick up on what I'm not saying.

I hesitate. "When I was talking to Dad, he said something I can't get out of my mind. I asked him if he's so opposed to me being with Lorenzo, why he doesn't care about Kayleigh and him getting married."

"Well, what did he say?" he asks.

"He kind of just dismissed it, and said not to worry about it," I answer. "But that's the thing… I can't help but wonder if he isn't planning on letting them get married at all."

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