Page 1 of Broken Princess

CHAPTER 1

AMELIA

I've only been back at my dorm room for a few minutes, but I've already managed to pack most of my worldly belongings into my suitcase.

Not too bad, considering I can barely even see through my own tears.

I'm leaving tonight. I have to. Not only do I not trust myself to stick around another day when it just keeps getting harder and harder, but I'm already starting to show a little, and before long, it's going to be enough that I can't hide it under sweatshirts and black clothing.

It's for the best, I tell myself. It was always going to end up this way, so I don't know why it feels like a failure. Like I'm giving in, somehow.

There's nothing to forfeit. There never was. The only thing that ever existed between me and Lorenzo was a beautiful illusion. I thought I knew that before, but still, after everything, there was just that one tiny, traitorous shred of hope.

Looking back, I regret ever judging Mom for clinging to the hope that Dad would change. That he would actually see her. For not just cutting him out of her life entirely, when it clearly didn't matter to him anyway.

It's so easy to cling to a lie. So easy to let yourself believe the little glimmers of hope are anything more than the glimmering deception of stars in the sky, impossibly out of reach yet appearing just close enough to touch from a foolish earthbound perspective.

I regret not planning things out more carefully, but I have saved just about every penny I've earned at work, so I figure I'll be okay for a few months. That should be long enough to find a decent place and get a more flexible job online.

I plan on texting Stefan right before I leave to let him know I didn't just disappear off the face of the earth.

I'll probably make up something about having a stomachache, which is not far from the truth, considering it feels like my insides are twisted into a thousand knots.

Saying goodbye to Anthony is going to be the hardest part. I don't want to ruin the rest of the party for him, so I decide to text him later and ask if he wants to meet up somewhere near campus before I officially get the hell out of town.

When I catch a glimpse of someone standing in my doorway, I gasp sharply and spin around, only to see that it's Anthony, standing there with a somber expression on his face. "So if I had gotten here a little bit later, I guess you would've been gone?"

There's no mistaking the hurt in his tone.

I sigh, leaning back against my bedpost. "It's not like that, Anthony. I was going to call, just… once I was a safe distance from here."

"You mean from him," he says knowingly.

I could deny it, but I don't. Instead, I just nod.

Tears are forming in my eyes again. Just the mention of Lorenzo is enough to make me feel like a weak, pathetic little girl. Not the strong woman I want to be.

The strong woman Ineedto be.

Anthony's gaze softens, and he walks over to pull me into his arms. "You want to talk about it?"

I collapse into his embrace, tears flowing freely down my cheeks now. I just can't hold it back anymore. I'm too tired.

"I'm an idiot," I mumble into his shoulder. "Why do I keep doing this to myself?"

He just holds me tight, stroking my hair. "It's not your fault, Amelia," he says quietly. "There's nothing wrong with loving someone. With wanting them to be better. Sometimes, the person just doesn't deserve it."

I nod, sniffling. Once I finally trust myself to speak without sounding completely and utterly pathetic, I look up at him, wiping the tears from my eyes. "You know, leaving you is going to be the hardest part of all this."

He blows a puff of air through his nostrils. "You must really not like this place, then."

I give him a look. "I'm serious. You know, I'm really not good at goodbyes or anything, but you're the best friend I've ever had. I just want you to know that."

He gives me a small smile, but it doesn't touch the sadness in his eyes. "So are you. And I'm absolute shit at goodbyes, so fuck that. You're not getting rid of me that easily. I want you to keep me posted every step of the way. I'll come visit you as soon as you figure out where you want to be."

"Thanks," I say. "I'd like that.”

"Oh, before I forget," he says, pulling something out of his pocket. "This is for you."