Page 100 of Her Beast

“Do you know how much longer I will be here?”

He hesitated, and then said, “I should think you’ll be home by the New Year.”

“So soon?” she blurted, and then wanted to sink beneath the table in mortification at her obvious disappointment.

You are a whore, Julia! Just like your mother.

Julia gritted her teeth against the hated words and turned to Malcolm, who was watching her with a slightly furrowed brow.

“Do you think it is strange that I don’t balk more at being held captive?”

He blinked—slowly—and then sat back in his chair. “What do you mean?”

“Shouldn’t I be fighting you?”

His eyebrow lifted. “Physically?”

Julia made an exasperated noise. “I could hardly overpower you. I meant in other ways.”

“You mean, should you make my life more miserable? Torment the servants? Break things? Make a ladder out of torn bed linen and try to escape?” He hesitated, smiled, and then added, “throw more knives?”

Julia ignored his gentle teasing. “I meant that I shouldn’t be speaking civilly to you, playing chess and cribbage with you, skating with you.”

He stared at her for a moment and then said, “Why do you think you aren’t more resistant?” He sounded genuinely curious rather than mocking.

It was a subject that Julia had avoided thinking about ever since she’d capitulated and begged for his company.

“I know I should feel like a traitor and that I should hate you, but…”

“But?” he prodded.

“But I suspect that my father has done something horrid to you—something that means he deserves whatever you will do. Don’t worry,” she added hastily, even though he looked as inscrutable as ever, “I know better than to ask what he’s done and I don’t want to know. But I can’t help feeling—” she struggled to find the right word.

“Disloyal?” he suggested.

It wasn’t exactly the right word, but it was close enough. “Yes.”

“Has your father done a great deal to earn your loyalty, Julia?”

“He is my father!” she retorted, more than a little scandalized by his question. “Shouldn’t one naturally be loyal to one’s parents?”

“I don’t have parents, so I’m not the best person to ask about that.”

Julia felt like an ignorant oaf; how could she have forgotten that? “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t worry, Julia, you didn’t hurt my feelings.” An odd expression flickered across his face and she thought he was going to say something more, but he merely shook his head.

“What is it?” she asked. “Tell me—is there something that I should know, Malcolm?” The question was inadequate when it came to expressing what she was feeling. The truth was that she both wanted to know and was afraid to know. Knowledge might be power, but it could also be painful—like that little boy Malcolm had told her about last night.

He sighed, suddenly looking tired .“There have been numerous scientific theories bandied about in recent years regarding human beings and their relation to animals.”

Julia blinked; those were not words she’d been expecting. “Erm, you mean what Mr. Darwin said? About evolution?”

“It is connected to that. Some people assert there is a vestigial part of the human brain—left over from a time when our ancestors were closer to beasts—that warns us of threats and danger. As civilized beings, we don’t always recognize the warning for what it is, or even accept that it exists.”

“Are you saying that my lack of loyalty is my brain trying to warn me about something dangerous? About my father?”

“I’m suggesting that if you are not feeling especially loyal to Thomas Harlow, there might be a very good reason for it. As to your other question, my answer isno. I do not possess any information that I think would be helpful or relevant to you.” He paused and then added, “If I were to learn anything important, I would tell you.”

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