Page 94 of Sinister Games

CHAPTER29

LIZZIE

The moment the flat door opened, I fell into Jane’s open arms. Sobbing.

Days later I was still on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the walls.

Why did I have to be in love with someone I hated?

How was it even possible?

Why would the universe allow such a contradiction?

It didn’t seem fair or right.

Richard was wrong for me. Dangerous.

Nothing good would come out of our relationship.

All I kept thinking about was the Shakespeare quote from the doomed lovers Romeo and Juliet.

These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume.

That! That right there was Richard and me in a nutshell. Our entire relationship summed up in one sentence. We were too intense, too extreme. Toxic.

And his games!

His fucking games!

Each one was more immersive than the last. I didn’t even know my own mind any more… or my body. What started out as a naughty spanking in a public garden had now escalated to me almost being torn apart by a bunch of drunken sex-crazed men.

Where did it end?

How far was too far?

At what point had it stopped being sexy and kinky and started becoming just plain wrong?

Where was the line?

I thought that was the crux of my problem with Richard. I was becoming increasingly aware there was no line with him.

Sex in public? Sure.

Kidnapping? No biggie.

Force your girlfriend into a cage? Just a Friday night for him.

Where did it stop? Wrapping my arms tighter around my middle, a small voice in my head reasoned since Richard was powerful enough and rich enough, I seriously doubted there was a line he wouldn’t cross to get what he wanted.

And the problem was he hadn’t stopped with my body, he’d fucked with my mind as well. He had me second-guessing everything.

After I stopped crying days later, I finally asked Jane about her conversation with Richard and my drawings. Jane told me she never talked to him. And yet, he had my drawings. I even met with the portrait artist for some early photos in the champagne chiffon dress he had had made. I kept telling her she didn’t need to keep his confidence, that he had admitted she had given him the drawings but she was adamant.

Who to believe? Was Jane just keeping his secret? Had he paid her to keep quiet no matter what? I noticed in the week I was gone, Jane had quit her job at the pub. She wouldn’t tell me why, only that she decided she didn’t want to work and go to school at the same time. A month ago, I had to cover part of her rent! She needed that job… at least she used to.

I started to ask her at least a hundred different times about her relationship with Richard. Did she know him before me? How well? Was she part of his plan? Had our entire friendship been a lie? Each time I stopped. She was my only friend in London and deep down I didn’t want to know the truth.

The problem was I knew that was just the tip of the iceberg. My landlord yesterday gave me a strange look when I tried to pay our rent. Telling me he would just get it the usual way. The usual way was me giving him a check from the small insurance settlement I had gotten from my parents’ accident. He refused to take it, just kept saying it was paid the usual way. That’s when I remembered Richard claiming he paid my rent and had been doing so from the start. That was insane, but when I went to look at my bank account, there were no cancelled rent checks listed and there was way way more money in there than I ever thought possible.

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