I didn’t want to talk or think about Richard right now. I needed distance. Time to figure out what my true feelings were without having to try to think it through while my body still hummed from his touch.
It was enthralling really. How he seemed to have this dark energy about him. A dark romanticism. It pulled me in, entranced me. There was just something about him that made me desperately want to ignore all the warning flags and just close my eyes and jump. The question was, would he be there to catch me or would I just keep falling deep into an abyss?
“In all the excitement, I almost forgot. Look what I found!” Jane dragged her backpack closer and pulled a wrinkled piece of blue copy paper from the front pocket. Handing it to me, she poured us both more margarita.
Looking down, I saw it was a flyer announcing auditions for a play.
“They are hoping to put it on at the Barbican if they get a big enough producer interested.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really?” Looking the flyer over, the first thing I noticed was the phrase, “A Victorian Play.”
“It’s a period piece?” My interest was growing. To be honest, my primary goal as an actress was to act in period pieces. My dream job would be on mini-series on the BBC like Downtown Abbey or a remake of Pride and Prejudice. I could just imagine the sets and beautiful dresses. It would almost be like going back to live in the era, which of course was impossible but still a girl could dream.
Grabbing the flyer from my hand, Jane read, “The Lady Protests, a Victorian wife suspects her new husband is trying to poison her for her fortune.” Jane nodded. “Classic. What do you think? Should we audition? I bet you’d be great for the parlor maid.”
“You really think I could get the part of the parlor maid?” I asked, intrigued.
Jane nodded. “You’re a certainty. You have that natural untouched beauty they like for these things. I’m going for the lead. Do you think I should cover my short hair with a wig for the audition?”
For the next hour or so, thoughts of Richard receded as we chatted about auditioning and whether we would need a monologue or if they would have us read from the play. It actually felt good to give my heated mind something else to focus on but inevitably thoughts of him crept back in.
At least now I had a slight buzz from the tequila and cheap wine, which took the sting out of all my confusing and conflicting emotions.
As Jane rose to get ready for work, it occurred to me. “I don’t know why I’m even talking about this. If Richard doesn’t like me going to school, I doubt he’ll like me auditioning for a play.”
Cocking her head to the side, she slid out of her yoga pants and put on a pair of jeans. “Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair? You haven’t even talked to him about it yet.”
Gesturing with my hand, I exclaimed, “Yes! See! Don’t you think that makes my point? I barely know this guy and yet somehow I’m supposed to get his permission before I audition for a play or for what classes I take or what school I go to?”
Tossing on a pair of trainers, Jane laced them up before responding. “If you feel that strongly about it then break up with him. All I’m saying is most girls would kill for a man to show that much interest in their lives. I gotta go. Remember I’m at Greg’s tonight.” With a wave over her shoulder she was out the door.
Barely acknowledging her, I hugged my now warm mug of margarita mix and tequila to my chest.
A loud burst of thunder shattered the tense quiet of the living room. Looking over my shoulder, out through our bay windows, the spire from Saint George’s stood straight and tall like a dark sentinel. The church was mostly shrouded in a gray mist as sheets of rain began to fall. It was a gloomy visage that perfectly matched my gloomy mood.
On impulse, I grabbed my mobile and texted.
I’m sorry, Richard, but I can’t see you anymore.
I was a coward. I knew he rarely looked at his phone and so he probably wouldn’t see this text message for hours if not days. Still I stared at the open text screen, desperately waiting to see those three little dots that would indicate he had seen my text and was responding.
There was an ominous clap of thunder as my phone screen went black.