Page 23 of By Candlelight

“Your sister seems so nice. I’d think you would hang out with her on the holidays.”

Okay, this was a test. Not one from Mia. She didn’t know she was testing me, or what can of worms that assumption would bring up. But it was a test I recognized in myself. I could bullshit some standard answer and change the subject. Or I could be honest. I could actually open up about myself for once, and pray that she wasn’t afraid of me afterward.

I almost chickened out. Almost. But then she nuzzled her cheek against my shoulder in the sweetest fucking way, and my chest seized up. I realized then and there—and I didn’t care how crazy it sounded—I’d do anything for her.

“Well, that’s kind of a wild story, if you’re up for it.”

My heart beat a tattoo against my ribs. But she just looked at me with so much compassion, and nodded.

“So…I didn’t know I had a sister until last year. Alex didn’t know anything about me, either. My dad apparently had an affair with her mom back in the day, her mom moved away, and he never told anyone. But I guess, my mom knew at some point. And when Alex first came to town last year, everything came out.”

I chanced a look at Mia’s face, but other than a bit of surprise, she didn’t show any emotion. So I pressed on.

“It turned out, my mom was responsible for a lot of bad things. She and my brother. I’d always had a hard time getting along with her, she was always so sanctimonious, hypocritical, you know the type. But finding out my brother was…not who I thought he was. That wrecked me.”

She rubbed slow circles on my forearm and listened to me with rapt attention. And it was just, the simplicity of her there for me, listening to me, not forcing it out of me, that made the words tumble out of my mouth.

“My mom had poisoned Aaron’s mind. Turned him against our dad, made him into a dangerous person. It came out that she had been responsible for Alex’s mom’s death. She’d murdered her.” I heard Mia’s sharp intake of breath, but she just squeezed my arm, a silent permission to go on.

“Aaron kidnapped Alex and planned to kill her, just like her mother. My dad and I had to go out searching for them. I just remember the fear, the anger, the confusion. This wasn’t the brother I grew up with. This wasn’t the man I knew.” A tear escaped my eye, and Mia wiped it away with her thumb, leaning up to kiss my cheek. That kiss gave me the strength to continue.

“We found them, but Alex had escaped. Aaron was chasing after her. He was gonna kill her. I just remember thinking ‘why?’ over and over again. Why? Why was he doing this? But there was no time. I had to make a split second decision. I shot him. Saved Alex. Killed Aaron.”

“Drew…” I waited for her repulsion. For a shaky platitude or horror masked as concern. I waited for her to get up and leave. But she didn’t.

She turned to me, climbed on top of my lap and held my face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you. I’m so sorry.” She repeated it, and kissed my forehead, over and over. I didn’t even realize I cried more tears until I felt her wiping them away. And then she held me. She held onto me so tightly, it was like a lifeline. And I felt myself able to breathe again.

I didn’t know how long we sat there like that, but at some point we drifted off to sleep. And when I woke up, she was still right there with me. But I felt lighter than I had in years.

seventeen

MIA

When Drew openedup to me, my feelings for him overwhelmed me. I knew how hard it was to open up to anyone. It was easy to take one look at Drew and see a ‘closed for business’ sign. But he talked to me. He shared what had to have been the most traumatic event, the most difficult thing to relive.

It felt like a gift.

So now, despite me knowing better, my heart was in it. I had a feeling he was going to break it. But I couldn’t bring myself to care.

He’d disappeared outside to get more firewood, which was odd because we had plenty. But I thought maybe he just needed some time to himself after all that talking, so I didn’t push it.

It was too cold to read upstairs in the window seat like I’d wanted to do, but reading by the fire was just as cozy and perfect. I’d gotten lost in a book for so long, I jumped when I heard the door open. Drew stomped his snowy feet on the porch and then came inside. But what he carried took my breath away.

“Are you kidding?”

“Ha. I just spent an hour cutting down a tree in a fucking blizzard, yeah it’s all one big joke.”

I squealed.

A Christmas tree?! He’d chopped down a Christmas tree for me. In the freezing cold snow. Just because he knew I’d wanted one.

The tears fell fast and hard. I didn’t even care how stupid I looked.

“No, no…baby don’t cry. Why are you crying? Please don’t cry.”

He pulled his gloves off and threw them onto the floor, and came to me, taking my face in his hands. They were freezing cold, but I didn’t care.

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