Page 15 of By Candlelight

Okay, this was awkward. Bunking together by the fire made sense but now that it was time to do it, I was nervous like a little schoolboy. Fuck me.

I grabbed a pillow and laid down on the couch, which was indeed two feet too small for me. My legs hung over the side, but it was fine. I was fine. I was absolutely fine sleeping in the same room as the hot woman I wanted to touch all over. Totally fine.

“Goodnight,” Mia said, as she burrowed under the covers.

“Night.” I mumbled.

The mattress was only a couple feet away from me, but it felt way too close and entirely too far at the same time. There was not a chance in hell I would be getting sleep tonight. But I wanted her to sleep well, so I shut the hell up and tried to lay still. Was I breathing loud? It felt loud. The fire crackled, but everything else was too quiet.

“Um, Drew?”

“Yeah?” I asked, way too quickly. God I sounded eager.

“That couch is way too small. And this bed is big. I just feel silly.”

“It’s fine.”

“Oh, yeah. I know.”

Silence. Why did I cut her off? What was she going to say? God, I was such an idiot.

“It’s just, I was thinking—”

“Yeah?” That was even more eager. What the fuck was wrong with me?

“Well, maybe you could sleep in the bed with me.”

I wooshed out a breath, but tried to cover it by clearing my throat. I didn’t know her intentions, but fuck yeah, I wanted to join her in bed. If nothing else, it would be a hell of a lot more comfortable than the couch. But I wanted it to mean more.

“Are you sure?” I asked. She was far too polite for her own good, and if this was one of those times, I would die.

“Yes.” Huh, now she sounded eager. “I mean, yeah…there’s plenty of room. And it’ll be warmer this way.”

“Okay, yeah.”

I slipped down onto the mattress and pulled the covers over top of me. I could smell Mia’s sweet floral scent. I could practically taste it. But I needed to get closer. Fuck it. The power was out and we were stuck in a blizzard. Even if that’s all this will ever be, I might as well give in to the moment. If she tells me to fuck off, I can go back to the couch.

I slid my arm around her middle, pulling her back against me. And fuck, she felt good. Cuddling was normal. Friends cuddled. I’m sure strangers in similar situations cuddled. This was no big deal.

Maybe I want it to be a big deal.Shit. Did I? I didn’t know. I just knew it felt amazing to have this beautiful woman in my arms, for one night at least.

But then she did it. That thing that girls do. That thing I secretly wished for the second she suggested this.

She pressed her ass back against me. Not enough to start anything. But enough to tell me, she wanted it too. My cock strained against my sweatpants, and I knew she’d feel it soon. But then I heard the sweet sounds of her breathing getting deeper and evening out. I knew I’d be lucky to get even five minutes of sleep tonight. But I got to hold Mia while she slept. And that was even better.

twelve

DREW

I’d stockedus with enough firewood to keep us warm for a month. I knew it was unnecessary, I knew it was a distraction. But I’d needed it.

I was about to go crazy in there, sleeping with Mia like we belonged together, waking up to her whispering “Merry Christmas” in her sleep-laden voice. God, it was intimate and perfect and not at all for me.

I spent the night creating elaborate scenarios of a life with Mia. Taking her on vacation, showing her around town, fucking her to sleep every night…I’d almost needed to go jerk off in the bathroom, but I didn’t want to wake her.

I thought about her past, wondering why the hell she was single in the first place. She deserved the world. And then I remembered what she’d said about her ex. It was none of my fucking business, but it suddenly sure as hell felt like it was.

After my body reacted so strongly to her, after I found myself actually wanting to make a move—something that had become foreign to me over the years—I’d been forced to dump metaphorical cold water over my head. Remind myself that no matter how horny I was for this woman, or how much I wanted to actually, what, talk to her? Open up? No. I couldn’t let myself go there. I needed to keep my distance until this snow melted and I could get away. I’d go crazy otherwise.

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