Page 8 of Into the Light

Raf didn’t date much, but anytime he did, I pretended with all my might that I was unaffected and happy for him. Like a friend should be. Not secretly wishing he’d choose me instead.

Never that.

But if he had gone home with that pretty girl I saw him talking to, maybe it was for the best. Another sign telling me I need to stop pining for him and start living my life.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Alex said, pulling out her phone and swiping her finger over it, searching for something. “I wanted to get your opinion on the flowers. The florist couldn’t get the peonies I wanted, so we’ll have to do dahlias and roses instead. What do you think?”

She handed me the phone and I looked at the beautiful bouquet samples, but my mind was a thousand miles away, overcome with a desire to move on from Raf once and for all. And that made me realize I’d been living in a fantasy instead of embracing real life.

Sam—my only immediate family member—was getting married to the love of his life in two weeks and here I was, feeling sorry for myself over an unrequited crush. I shook my head to clear it, and focused on Alex.

“I think they’re beautiful.” I passed the phone back to her and smiled. “I’m sorry if I’ve been preoccupied lately. What can I do to help?”

“Don’t be silly, you’ve been working hard. Everything is pretty much all set, other than this last minute flower fiasco. But I think they’ll still be pretty, right?” Her shoulders drooped and she blew out a breath. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of the wedding, but the whole town will be there and I’m kind of stressed about it at this point.”

“Aw, Alex, I’m sorry. You should have told me sooner!”

“I just didn’t think that many people would care,” she said with a laugh. And I felt for her, because she was coming into a life that was so very different from her own.

Before Alex moved to Moon Harbor, she’d been alone for her whole adult life. And she’d had a strained relationship with her mom before she died. Then last year, she discovered the truth about who her father was, and was almost killed in the process.

Alex was an incredible woman. She deserved so much better than what she’d gotten in her past, and I’m glad she had it now. But it still couldn’t be easy going from being alone all the time to being engaged to one of the most popular guys in Moon Harbor. She was basically the town darling now, and getting way more attention that she was comfortable with.

When our parents died, even though Sam was still in the military and not home much, the town sort of all adopted us. I went to live with our Uncle Peter and Aunt Anne, but everyone in town stepped up in some way. Theo and Raf were there to look out for me. Gus and his wife Cheryl took me to dinner every Thursday night until I went to college. And I never had a shortage of invitations on holidays.

I was used to everyone always knowing my business. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for Alex to experience that all of a sudden.

“Are you doing okay with it all? I know the wedding is ending up way bigger than you envisioned.”

“Yeah. It was overwhelming at first, but I’ve got a handle on it now. I mean, the town has been so welcoming and loves Sam. It’s not a bad problem to have.” She laughed and took another sip. “I’m just trying to keep my anxiety in check. Sara’s been giving me meditation advice.”

“That’ll help, I’m sure. But try not to worry about the guest list too much. Yeah, it’s a lot of people. But you know how this town is. Everyone’s probably just honored to be included and excited for a chance to go to a fancy party.”

“True.” Alex sat up. “Oh, speaking of! Are you bringing a date? I didn’t want to ask earlier because I knew you’d broken up with Derek, but it’s getting closer.”

Ugh. I knew it was, and she’d need to know for the place setting count. But I’d been foolishly avoiding the topic. I figured since Raf was Best Man and I was Maid of Honor, maybe we’d just sit together. Now I was only thinking how stupid that sounded. And I’d resolved to move on, so… Moving on was what I’d do. One way or another.

“Uh, yes. I haven’t exactly decided who, but Iwillbe bringing someone.” I spoke as if trying to convince both of us, but Alex had the decency to not show any surprise or confusion on her face. She simply smiled and nodded.

“Perfect, I’ll put you down for two.” She stood up and grabbed her now-empty cup. “I have to run down to the hotel to finalize everything.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“See ya,” I said, watching her walk her cup over to the bus bin behind the counter and say goodbye to Sara. I grabbed the last mini muffin and shoved it in my mouth.

I needed to find a date, and I needed to do it fast.

four

RAFAEL

Later that week,I stood on the deck of the Stella Rose as she cut through the Atlantic like a hot knife through butter. She was the fifty-four foot Downeast style Mussel Ridge I’d worked on for over three years, and I was obsessed with heralmostas much as I was with Ellie. But at least I didn’t have to hide my love for the Stella.

She was beautiful—the perfect mix of artistry and strength. Her hull was a midnight blue that blended into Maine’s deep waters. Her cockpit contained top of the line monitors that made my jaw drop when I first stepped aboard. And she had the horsepower behind her to power us through almost anything.

The Captain, Roger Thorne, poached me from my old gig after we bonded one night at the pub. I wasn’t much of a talker, but he’d caught me on the night the Red Sox made it to the playoffs and I’d already had more than a few pints of Sam Adams. He told me he’d been saving for years to launch his own boat and was finally making it happen the following season. He just didn’t mention he made it happen with the nicest commercial craft in Moon Harbor.

Usually lobstermen worked in teams of two, but there were four of us on the Stella. Roger named me first mate two summers ago, and brought on an apprentice deckhand to assist Jackson, the sternman. Together, we were able to set more traps, and bring in more lobster, than most of the boats in the nearby area. The only one docked in Moon Harbor that was bigger was the Fortuna Fin, the boat we joked had gone “corporate.”

I’d started on smaller boats, just pulling traps, and was fine with it. I had no delusions of grandeur or working my way up. I just wanted to be on the water and lobster fishing was the best way for me to do it.

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