Page 7 of Into the Light

And how I would never be able to have her.

“Thank you,” I replied.

“Happy birthday.” She finally looked up into my eyes and I knew for sure then, there was something happening in them. But she tried to play it off, giving me a bigger version of that fake smile. “Hope it’s a good one. You deserve the best.”

I didn’t know how to respond, but she didn’t give me a chance. I looked down at the gift in my hands, and when I looked up, she was backing away.

“I’m heading out,” she said. “I’ll see you around. Enjoy your night.”

And then she turned and left. Once again, I wanted to go after her, and once again, the crowd swallowed her up and I lost sight of her. Or maybe I just forced myself still so that I wouldn’t reach out and do something I shouldn’t.

So that I wouldn’t taint her like I did so many other things in life.

three

ELLIE

Nursing a hangoverat The Witch’s Brew, I stirred my coffee and sat with my regret from the night before. My brother had always said I let my temper get the better of me and I hated that in this case, he was right.

What should have been a great night celebrating Raf’s birthday turned into me throwing a hissy fit and leaving early. And when I got home and thought about it, I knew Raf hadn’t meant any harm. In fact, in his warped head, he wasn’t judging me, but instead was trying to protect me. I was just so tired of being the “kid sister.” The one who everyone thought needed protection, who wasn’t seen as a woman in her own right, but a child who needed to be looked after. Especially when it came to Raf.

But my foolish crush on him wasn’t his fault. And while I had the right to be annoyed about being treated with kid gloves, I didn’t have the right to be a jerk about it, especially on his birthday. Regret sat in my gut, warring with my pride. I should apologize. I knew I should. But my stubborn streak held me back, for now.

“Hey, where’d you disappear to last night?”

I looked up to see Alex approach my table and take a seat, setting down her cup and saucer and a plate of treats. I must have really been in my own head if I didn’t even notice her walk in and order all that. I grabbed a mini chocolate chip muffin and shrugged.

“I wasn’t really feeling up to staying long.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at me and took a sip of her coffee. And then went in for the kill.

“Okay, what’s going on with you two?”

My heart rate kicked up. “What do you mean?”

“Are you fighting or something? I saw you guys talking and you both looked heated, or bothered, or something weird. And then you left, and he sulked like a lonely puppy for the rest of the night.”

He sulked? Interesting.

“Oh, no. I don’t know. He was being over-protective, acting like my skirt was too short or something. And I got fussy. I guess that’s nothing new.”

“I had to stop Sam from saying something, too.”

“What the hell? Why does everyone treat me like I’m a kid?” So much for feeling remorseful. My mood soured and annoyance took its place.

Alex sipped her coffee and shrugged. “The guys are dumbasses sometimes, even if their hearts are in the right place. But I agree, you’re a grown woman and they need to chill. Which is why I told Sam that. I didn’t know Raf gave you shit, too.”

“Yeah, he’s been a real thorn in my side ever since I grew boobs.”

Alex laughed. “Sam said he asked the guys to look after you while he was overseas. Maybe Raf just can’t get past that.

“Yeah, but that was years ago. You’d think he would have moved on by now.”

But I didn’t want him to moveon. I wanted him to moveforward—to see me as a woman and not a kid. It was probably time I admitted to myself that it would never happen. The crush I had on Raf was just that. A stupid crush that would go nowhere. Maybe letting go of it and moving on was the only path forward.

“Anyway,” I continued, “I didn’t mean to make him sulk. It was his birthday, he should have been celebrating.”

“Ah, you know him. He’s not one for being the center of attention. He left not long after you did. I did see him talking to some woman.” Alex took a croissant from the plate and nibbled at it, flakes falling onto the table in front of her. “I wonder if they hooked up or something?” She waggled her eyebrows and I could do nothing but plaster a wide smile on my face, hoping it looked relaxed and not maniacal, but that might be asking too much.

---