Page 47 of Into the Light

“You fucked my little sister?!” Sam screamed.

I ran to Raf, who was bent over, holding his chin. I helped him straighten, and saw that while his jaw was red and already starting to bruise, he didn’t appear to need medical attention. I rounded on my brother.

“What the fuck?”

Theo held out a hand to stop me from getting to Sam, which was probably a good idea, because I had the strong urge to break his nose.

“El, this doesn’t concern you,” Sam said, but Theo turned to him.

“Sam, I beg of you not to finish that sentence, you’re only making a fool of yourself.”

“What? You’re okay with this?” Sam gestured wildly.

“Sam, I get that it’s going to be an adjustment, but put your big boy pants on and make it. You have no say in my romantic life. I’m a grown woman and I fell in love. It just so happens to be with your friend. Someone who is also my friend, I might add. Someone who you trust and care about, who you were just defending three minutes ago.”

“You’re in love with me?”

Oh. The embarrassment coursed through my veins.

I turned around to see Raf, still holding his jaw, but looking like he’d just won the lottery. Was that smile because of me? He walked up to me, putting a hand on my cheek. I didn’t know what to say. It was the truth, of course. I’d loved Raf since I was eighteen years old. Maybe it was different then, but through the years, our friendship grew, and so did my love for him. He was all I ever wanted, and I might as well start admitting it. If it scared him off, so be it.

I nodded. “Of course I’m in love with you.”

“Ellie… I really wish I didn’t have to do this in front of these two assholes,” he said, eyeing Sam and Theo who’d ceased struggling with each other to watch us. “But I’m in love with you too. So devotedly, obsessively, head over heels in love with you, and everything about you. You’re my life.”

Tears sprung into my eyes and I jumped up into his arms, my legs wrapping around him the way I fit so perfectly. The way we’d gotten used to holding each other. His arms encircled me in the most calming way, and I cried into his neck.

In the chaos of this whole afternoon, I relished the moment our love became real.

twenty-three

RAFAEL

“Here, for your face.”Back at Ellie’s apartment, Sam handed me an ice pack. She’d brought us here to make up, and then promptly left to go back downstairs to work, leaving us alone with awkward energy permeating the air. I sat on her couch and put the ice against my stinging jaw.

I was still riding high from hearing Ellie loved me, and telling her the same. It was the least romantic way I wanted to do it, but now that it was out there, my heart had grown three sizes and I felt an overall sense of relief.

But that didn’t negate the confusion and sadness I felt for Annie, or the overwhelming guilt I had for breaking the guy code and pissing Sam off. I was here with him, though, so first thing’s first. I had to come to terms with fucking up, and take the step to apologize.

“Look, man. I’m sorry.”

“Ellie wouldn’t want you to apologize.”

“You’re right, she wouldn’t. And I’m not apologizing for being with her. I can’t apologize for loving her. But I do apologize for not going to you first and talking about it.”

Sam let out a long sigh and sat down on the other side of the couch.

“The truth is,” he said, “she’s right. I have no say in her love life. And it doesn’t matter that you’re one of my best friends. She’s an adult and she can make her own choices.”

I agreed, but it still didn’t sit right with me.

“You know, this just happened, right? All these years, I tried to keep my feelings bottled up. I never wanted to seem like I was hanging around for the wrong reason.”

“I know, man. Fuck, I feel bad you felt that way all these years and didn’t think you could be honest. And Ellie, too.”

“Marriage has matured you.”

He laughed. “Maybe. Finding Alex again was the biggest blessing of my life.” He shook his head, considering his words. “I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad that you guys felt that way all this time and didn’t pursue it because of me.”

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