Page 24 of Into the Light

“Why can’t he just figure it out? Or then at least stop giving me mixed signals. If he doesn’t want me, fine, but he should stop making me think he does.”

“It’s not fair to you. And I hope that he’ll change. Or at least, maybe this knocked some sense into him. You can’t avoid him forever, but I support you in putting up a boundary. If you don’t want to see him for a while, then you shouldn’t.”

“Thank you.”

“No thanks necessary, my love. However, it’s almost Halloween, so I’m going to need you to end your self-imposed imprisonment and prepare for the party we’re throwing.”

“I’m not in the partying mood.”

“Hush, it’s still three days away. You’ll feel differently by then. Plus, it’s a great time to dress up, look hot, and flirt with random guys. It’ll help you get your mojo back.”

“That sounds even less appealing. But maybe you’re right.”

“Of course I am. Do you have a costume?”

“No, but I’ll get one.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek. “Perfect.”

eleven

RAFAEL

I’d been layinglow for a few days after the wedding. I went straight to work, and straight home. Ellie was probably still mad at me, and I knew I deserved it. I never meant to confuse her, but it’d become hard to hide my feelings, even if I never expressed them clearly.

But leaving her confused and unsure of herself was fucked up. It was my doing, and that made me feel like shit. Just one more reason I knew I should stay away. I was no fucking good for her.

After a long day on the water, Kirby and Jackson had convinced me to meet them back at the pub for some dinner. Apparently they and some of the new guys from the Fortuna Fin crew had a weekly thing going. And since I had nothing else to do, and no excuses came to mind quick enough, I’d been roped into it.

After I’d showered off all the sweat and sea stink, I drove back downtown to meet the guys. The pub was finally back to mostly locals during the week, and I relaxed at seeing a less crowded space. Too many people around made me anxious, and I was already dreading the dinner.

“Hey man, over here,” Jackson called from a table in the back. I made my way through the other patrons and sat at the large, but mostly empty table.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Not here yet, they got back to port late.” Jackson said.

“Yeah, because that boat sucks ass. We got a pitcher, so drink up,” Kirby said, sliding an empty pint glass my way.

Pretty soon, we were eating and shooting the shit and it wasn’t all that bad. I even thought I could maybe hang out with these guys more often.

“I told that chick, there’s no way I’m dressing up. But she said ‘no costume, no play’ so I’m not risking it. I gotta go grab something that doesn’t make me look stupid.”

“You going to that, Raf?”

“What?” I’d zoned out watching some college football game I didn’t care about on the screen above the table.

“That Halloween party. Isn’t your friend Sara the one throwing it?”

“If the sheriff is there, how good can it be? I might dip early.”

“I guess I forgot about it. I don’t know, I haven’t seen anyone since Sam’s wedding last week.”

“I ran into Sara and Ellie Waters down at the costume store down in Ingleside. Let me tell you, if all the girls are shopping for slutty costumes like that, I don’t care if the whole sheriff’s department is there, I’m posting up and looking at the view,” Kirby said, laughing like a hyena.

I had to stop myself from lashing out. That wouldn’t do any good, and would only alienate me from the few friends I had outside of my normal circle. But shit. Ellie looking for a ‘slutty’ costume to wear in front of guys like this made me want to rage. And she’d be annoyed by that, but I couldn’t help it. I shot Sara a text asking about the party and if I really needed a costume. Ellie wanted me to leave her alone. Fine. She wanted nothing to do with me? Fine. But I’d be damned if I didn’t look out for her. I’d been doing it for years, I wasn’t about to stop now.

Sara texted me back quickly, saying that yes, I absolutely did need a costume, fucking great. The party was on Friday night at the Anchorage. I texted back that I’d be there.

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