Page 10 of Room Eighteen: My Pain, Their Pleasure

CHAPTER 4

BROOKS

My body is still buzzing from what happened hours earlier. Having Jessa under our command and seeing her fall apart is something I can’t get out of my mind. She was perfect, our perfect little toy.

I’ve never wanted to break a toy apart to put back together more than I want to do it to Jessa. It would be so much fun. The only other people who can appreciate it are the two men sitting in our living room with me, all of us wearing the same dazed expressions.

After we cleaned Jessa up, we took turns holding her and petting her. She wasn’t the only one who needed it either. We needed the connection, to make sure she was okay and that we hadn’t pushed her too far.

It’s clear she doesn’t know nearly enough about herself and what it means for her to peek in at her own darkness and embrace it. She let us take the lead. I can only hope we gave her what she needed, both while we pushed her boundaries and after.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cameron look so damn placid and almost kind as I did when he was holding Jessa in his lap. He was running his fingers through her hair while staring down at the covered tattoo he had put on her. The man is like a brother to me, we’ve lived together and worked side-by-side for years. I want him to be happy instead of holding himself separate and silent from everything. He deserves it.

I think Jessa is the answer to his needs. To all our needs.

Aiden hides behind a smiling façade which forces people to assume he doesn’t take anything seriously. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. The man feels deeply, and he can get sucked into his head just as much as the next person. I was able to see him let go of what he thinks people want from him and show Jessa who he really is today.

I’m…somewhere in the middle. I always have been. From the moment I met Aiden and Cameron, we clicked, and I seemed to be the natural balance. It means I must have a hold on my control at all times. I’m supposed to be serious, but with an easy smile. I’m supposed to be smart, but not calculating.

Honestly, it’s exhausting.

As I stuffed my cock down Jessa’s throat and watched as she submitted to me, giving me everything I need without care for herself while trusting us with herself, I was able to just be me. There weren’t expectations on what I should be. Although I had control, it had nothing to do with balance. I slid right into the darkest parts of who I am and let it wrap around me while loving every single second of it.

Her gagging on my cock was music to my ears. I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight than the tears streaming down her face as her eyes glazed over and she found herself floating in a special place only we can take her.

I can’t wait to do it again.

Cam’s voice startles me a little and I’m pulled back into the living room, “What’s the plan?”

“What do you mean?” Aiden’s grin is wide. “She’s ours. We’ve decided.”

“Yeah, we did.” Cam shifts in his seat slightly. The vulnerability in his voice guts me, “What if she doesn’t want us? What if we’re too much?”

He might have let himself go to a place he keeps locked away today, but the man has some real abandonment issues. I would too if my parents had left me at six like his did. It’s one of the reasons he doesn’t talk a lot. If he talks then he gets close to people and then they could leave him.

He’s had a few constants in his life for a long time now. He knows I’m not going anywhere, and neither are Aiden and Killian. When I look into his eyes, it’s clear he wants to trust Jessa to not leave him, but he’s afraid she’ll be just another person who does.

Aiden snorts, unable to use the same level of tact as I would. The man is damn near giddy right now; I’m blaming all those fucking endorphins. “You’re the one who said, and I quote, ‘Fuck consent when it comes to you, Jessa.’ Remember?”

Cam looks away, his jaw clenching as he reaches down and adjusts his dick in his jeans. I almost laugh because it’s good to know I’m not the only one who is having a problem keeping my head in this conversation.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything sexier than Jessa today, but, damn, I’d like to test that theory.

I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees. When Cam meets my eyes, I remind him, “She loved it. She needs it. There was only one thing holding us back before and it’s gone now.”

Aiden’s maniacal grin is only mildly disconcerting. “We’re all set-up here, right? To bring her home?”

Cam gives a curt nod, even though he tried to avoid planning for the inevitable before. “We are.”

“How are we going to get her to agree to move in with us. We’ve been thinking about it for almost a year now, from the moment we realized we were all,” I eye Cameron, “relatively, on the same page about her. It might take her a little while to catch up.” I shrug and try not to let my disappointment at the idea of her pushing us away show. “It’s one thing to take over and give her what her body is craving, but it’s another thing to get her to fall in love with us.”

Cam’s jaw clenches. “We can’t force that,” he grumbles as if the thought is completely abhorrent to him and he wishes there was a way for us to force her to love us.

I have to stifle my laugh at the look on his face. Aiden doesn’t stifle shit. Not surprising, he’s not that kind of guy.

“You don’t need to look like someone just stole your favorite toy,” Aiden pokes fun at Cam.

“She’s known us for a year,” I point out. “She’s clearly attracted to us and seemed to take well to being with all of us. Even if,” I throw the man in question a glare, “only one of us was able to be inside her pussy.”

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