Page 52 of The Arbiter

“That Baellock will get what’s coming to him. When you first left, he fed me a load of what probably amount to lies to get me to take him with me to rescue you even though the lies made no sense. He was all I had when we first got here because it was going to take the other Rites longer to arrive. I turned my back to him for one second, and he knocked me out. When I woke up, he was gone, and the other Rites were already here. He will definitely get what’s coming to him,” Larkan promises as he starts the engine. “He’ll come snooping back around, and we’ll be here for it. For now, we can find out all the details for Saul’s trial tomorrow.”

For once, I don’t argue. I am more than ready to be back home at The Apothecary, pretending life didn’t used to be this damn complicated.

Pretending that someone I used to love didn’t just break my heart all over again.

Will his betrayals ever come to an end?

***

Enoch

After Nocturna pretty much accused me of being behind everything, I left the Factory completely defeated. I thought that she’d see I was only trying to help, but it’s clear now that she’ll never see me in the same light she once had. Hundreds of years alive and I had never felt as hopeless as I did now. Nothing gets to me. My skin is tough in more ways than one, but Nocturna has always been a driving force in my emotions. Her words cut me deeper than any Damned blade ever could, and yet, I still love her more than my soul loves the infernal flames of Damnation. I’m just not sure anymore if I can come back from this point moving forward.

Of its own volition, my true Baellock form unfurls itself from within me, wrapping me in it's comforting embrace to soothe my breaking heart. The realization that she’ll never love me again is heavier than the wings that lay upon my shoulders, dragging behind me as I make my way out of the building. My gaze lifts to the moon shining too brightly above and all I can think to do is rise into the sky and let my wings take me somewhere I can process everything. There’s only one place I want to go though.

With a hard push of my wings, I rocket into the air, ashes from my cracking, fiery skin trail in my wake. The rush I feel as I race through the sky is soothing but doesn’t have quite the same effect as it normally does. I doubted anything would truly ease my suffering quite like holding the woman I love would. I curse to myself, hating that all the times I’d fucked up in the past had overshadowed the one time I finally tried to make it right. To have her finally see the lengths I would go to save her and have her realize the only thing I’ve ever tried to do is protect her.

Reaching my destination, I land with a heavy crash on the roof of The Apothecary. She won’t be here for a bit longer since she’s taking care of things at the Factory still, so I have time to do what I came here to do. Pushing my Infernal form back down, I jump from the roof onto her fire escape and grasp the doorknob leading to her loft. It’s locked, but with an effortless twist on my part, the knob breaks and the door opens.

Her heady scent encompasses every inch of this place and I breathe it in deep, committing it to memory. I hope it’s not the last time I smell her, but something tells me that my hope is futile. I glance around, surveying this home she’d made for herself. She could live in a vast mansion with immaculate furnishings and servants to tend to her every need, but instead, she chooses to live so frugally. So simply. It always made me admire her. She never wanted for anything but to live the life she wanted and to be loved unconditionally in that life.

Reaching out toward one of her silk sleep shirts that lays across the bottom frame of her bed haphazardly, I slide the material between my fingertips. Memories of her once wearing something similar as she laid beneath me surface, driving that blade of pain further into my heart. Grasping the shirt, I lift it up and bring it to my nose, dragging in a deep breath. Her scent is strongest on this one, so I pocket it. She won’t miss it.

Knowing my time is running out here, I find a piece of paper and pen in one of her bedside drawers. She wouldn’t let me say my peace before, but maybe after she cooled down, she’d read this and realize I only ever cared about her. Only ever loved her.

Quickly jotting down the words I long for her to hear, I finish my letter and rip the page out from the notepad, setting it down on her dining table. Hopefully she doesn’t just throw it away. With that done, I take one last look around before exiting out the way I came.

No sooner had I walked out the door that something sharp stabbed me in the side of my neck. I had no time to react, only to see who it was that ambushed me.

A Damned I didn’t recognize held the syringe as a smug Marilith stood watching behind him.

“I had a feeling you’d come here after your utter failure at The Factory. You should’ve listened to me, Enoch. Now, you’ll have to pay for your insolence,” she spits with a wicked grin lighting her face.

“Wha di you do?” I slur, already feeling the effects of whatever was in that syringe taking hold. I stumble, grabbing onto the railing for balance. Confusion fills me, as nothing in this mortal world could put me to sleep.

Marilith laughs heartily. “You don’t recognize this concoction? Shame. It’s a very potent mixture. We call it Nightshade as you might know but its real namedormiens flosmeans ‘sleeping flower’. A special gift from Cain. He’s expecting you, my love.”

My eyes widen as reality sets in. But I have no time to process as darkness begins to take me.

“Search the room and make sure he’s left nothing behind,” I hear Marilith order the man just as I slump down, unable to do anything as the paralyzing sleep agent fully envelops me and I black out.

My last thought is of Nocturna and that she’ll never know what’s happened to me. Of where I’ll be going. There’s only one place Marilith meant and that was in the deepest, darkest bowels of Damnation.

The home of Cain.

Nocturna

The ride home is silent. I'm not entirely sure if it's because I'm finally processing everything that’s happened in such a short amount of time, or if just no one is willing to talk about it yet. This time, Enoch's betrayal cut me much harder and deeper than I thought it could. I had no real time to process his treachery until now, and I can’t face it. It hurts too much. Long ago, I'd cried so many tears for him that I swore I'd never again shed another. I swore that I wouldn't ever let him break me again.

Yet, the moment I see a sliver of goodness come from him, I'm right back to where I started. The pain I feel for his involvement in such cruelty is etched so deeply into my bones, I doubt I can ever come back from it. Him leaving me was a blade in my back. But him doingthis? It was a nail through my heart.

"Nocturna? Are you alright?" Larkan asks me as he drives.

I'm curled up in the passenger seat, staring aimlessly out the window as the rain falls. I can see my reflection in the glares of the passing streetlights. My eyes are drooping and look to be sunken in thanks to my running makeup, and my face covered in blood and ash. The luminosity I normally see in my green eyes is gone. You can see the heartache plain as day on my face.

He knows I'm not alright, so I say nothing.

Monroe reaches a hand beside my head rest and runs his fingers gingerly through my matted hair, his caress gentle and comforting. When his knuckles reach my temple, I snuggle my face into them, reveling in his touch. I still can't believe I almost lost him tonight. Losing Enoch twice was one thing but losing Monroe would unravel me. He's become a rock in my life. A stable warmth I've needed for so long through the dark, cold nights. I'd be lying if I said I didn't love him.

---